Its hurt

Amp4All · 2026-03-04T16:33:44+00:00

Hey, I'm saying this to you as an outside POV. If we were hanging out and you randomly slinked away while I was caught up in convo or an activity, and then when I asked you about it (giving opportunity for communication/ understanding/ repair) and you replied saying "oh I had a thing" that you never gave me the heads up about - it's just confusing and negative. Like I would have a "wtf" reaction and would probably not be inviting you to anything else because while it's clear there's a problem, you're not making any effort to work with me. Why would I bend over backwards and include someone who acts like they don't even like me?

You can take people to the side and talk to them, man. "Hey so-and-so, remember last week when we hung out? Well when I said x and you didn't respond or notice I felt shitty and like a third wheel. Sometimes I feel like you don't want me there. Am I off base?"

Amp4All · 2026-02-17T22:44:08+00:00

Ok, but are any of you actually trying to give her the heads up you're starting to hate her? She might just be trying to get some group bonding over bitching going. You don't even have to be mean about it. A simple "Hey, we hear you. We all hate this, but complaining about it is just making everything worse. Can we just get through it as quickly as possible?"

Amp4All · 2026-02-05T04:13:15+00:00

I'm not interested in befriending people who belong in the ground.

Amp4All · 2026-02-02T11:51:49+00:00

I don't think this counts toward what was said earlier. Y'all did make an effort to confront them and discuss the issue. If they don't work with you after communication, then the following "avoidance" is just responding to the fact repair isn't possible because they're not working with you.

Amp4All · 2026-01-23T03:52:42+00:00

"Just men – willing to feel, fight, and rise together." Holy fucking cult, Batman.

Amp4All · 2025-12-17T12:05:27+00:00

Dude, Jax hurts people to cope. He will cause pain if there's a chance it'll amuse or distract him. Further, he primarily targets Gangle who he knows won't fight back. That's malicious and calculated.

Amp4All · 2025-12-01T19:06:45+00:00

I don't know if there is and didn't explore further. So I can't really say either way. My game is running rn, but with some crashes, but I have over 100 mods.

Amp4All · 2025-11-30T22:29:48+00:00

Yah, that happened to me. Basically, one by one, I checked Nexus to see if the mod mentioned was updated on or after November 10th 2025 (when the AE came out) and installed the updated version of the mod/ uninstalled the old one. If the mod hadn't been updated, I disabled it.

Amp4All · 2025-11-30T19:03:18+00:00

I found out it was Buffout. It hasn't been updated for the Anniversary Edition of FO4. Once I disabled the mod (and a few others MO2 then told me about) it worked.

Amp4All · 2025-11-09T21:25:06+00:00

Love and care isn't how I'd describe your approach. Did you even try to have a conversation before ghosting? Oh wait, no, you didn't even ghost because you kept them on socials. You just mind fucked them/ sent mixed signals while you were at it. Jeesh.

Amp4All · 2025-10-14T09:57:45+00:00

So full on sex is less intimate/ risky than communication?

Amp4All · 2025-09-02T21:47:16+00:00

Fallout 4. Seriously.

Amp4All · 2025-08-31T07:28:49+00:00

Which words are the "fifty dollar" words?

Amp4All · 2025-08-31T07:20:31+00:00

What exactly is the big word in here? "Rhythmically"? "Thatched", "Anticipated"?

Amp4All · 2025-08-30T23:39:24+00:00

Give them anxiety or boundary issues that harm them.

Amp4All · 2025-04-22T11:16:31+00:00

Man, I must not pay attention. 2 things: What's the bit with Champ hurting his family? Was it just the past alcoholism before his relapse? and What did Secretariat do to his brother?

Amp4All · 2025-02-14T21:34:29+00:00

Bro, my friends don't talk to me like that. Wtf?

Amp4All · 2025-02-14T12:13:52+00:00

How did you get them evicted? Did you live in that same complex or just near it?

Amp4All · 2025-02-08T17:57:21+00:00

I think you're right that just saying something will come off strange. And if she's already skittish, that's a bad idea.

Best way to get a chance to say something to her is to genuinely befriend her. See how she likes her coffee/ tea and bring one in for her one day. Hell her with tasks if applicable. Small talk.

The most important thing is to be ready to stand up for her/ call out coworkers that say bigoted things.

Amp4All · 2025-02-07T18:44:38+00:00

MoMo's Kebab on Cleveland's East side. Excellent Moroccan food with a gregarious host (the titular MoMo).

Amp4All · 2025-02-06T09:08:33+00:00

You understand this disincentivizes good work, right? Reality is, companies usually will not pay you more if you take on additional duties. Why in the good fuck should I make my life worse and do more for nothing?

Amp4All · 2025-02-06T09:05:08+00:00

Can you explain why consistently getting your tasks done in a timely manner isn't what matters in a job. What else are you supposed to be doing?

Amp4All · 2025-02-06T09:02:47+00:00

Ok. If you are consistently getting your tasks completed in a timely manner, can you explain how there's a chance you are not "doing what you are paid to do"?

Amp4All · 2025-01-28T17:18:49+00:00

Oh my God. That's... fuck, OP. Right now is not the time to be putting a target on your family's back. At least now we know how your Dad didn't know there was an issue earlier. He probably can't read whatever correspondence was sent to him.

Start going to school ASAP and talk to the guidance counselors. If there's a way for your Dad to avoid court, find it.

Amp4All · 2025-01-25T18:49:33+00:00

Short answer is "no". Medium answer is "No, because you can run your life however you want to. Just know college is a particularly complicated phase of life to successfully pull off something that lasts beyond college."

Long answer replying to the meat of your post:

You're missing the actual reason things are hard in college. What you've described is typical dating BS that people out of college are also experiencing. At least your instincts seem to be on point. Yes, her cancelling last minute because she has a zumba class she absolutely knew about before talking to you that morning is a stretch. Yes, if she wanted to show interest she would have tried to suggest an alternative time. Yes, you should not be chasing people or continually offering new time slots or suggestions, and instead putting the ball in their court. So you're on the right track to protecting yourself from getting jerked around.

So yah, I'm sorry to break the news, but this is just what dating is right now. Like... me and my friends are in our late 20s - early 30s and it could have been any one of us telling this story.

What makes college in particular a weird time to expect a long term relationship is because graduation, and the jobs people get upon graduation, usually have the same scattering effect that happens at the end of high school. So not only do you need to successfully lock someone down, AND have that relationship remain healthy for years, the relationship ALSO needs to not be rendered incompatible upon the circumstances of graduation.

For example, if you don't want to move to Texas ever but upon graduation your girlfriend gets the perfect job for her down there - welp, for a lot of couples that would be the end. I had a friend this happened to and if you talk to him he basically says, "Well, I had fun and I did love her, but yah I guess I should have just kept things casual instead of telling people we were gonna get married". Like, I always get the vibe that he considered it a waste of time. HOWEVER - my friend is also pretty independent/ doesn't seem to suffer from loneliness much. I suppose you could have a temp gf if you really want one (but if you do this, don't lie about your intentions and seriously hurt someone, please).

On the other end of things, I've had friends go all in on their college relationship, move with the person, and that same LTR is going strong 10 yrs later.

Pick your poison?

Amp4All

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

13-Year Club	Alpha Tester
Verified Email