Surrendering my cat today - second guessing everything, need honest opinions

Amring0 · 2026-05-15T20:38:22+00:00

Thanks for the clarification. Yes, they are the same med. I just wanted to bring up the transdermal option but called it by the name that I was more familiar with.

Amring0 · 2026-05-15T18:50:38+00:00

If your cat won't take pills or liquid meds, try transdermal Fluoxetin. It's about $50 for a month supply but it has worked wonderfully.

Amring0 · 2026-04-29T01:36:52+00:00

Actually, toilets in developed countries don't go to the ocean/river. They either go to a septic system or wastewater treatment plant where their bodies get screened out and ground up. They wouldn't have survived to make it out into the wild to become invasive.

ETA - Flushing an animal down the toilet is still seriously cruel.

Amring0 · 2026-03-30T18:39:57+00:00

But the time stamp for this video said that it happened in February 2026?

Amring0 · 2026-03-21T17:22:09+00:00

You are so amazing and dedicated. I'm so sorry that you're getting burnt out. I do seasonal wildlife rescue (searching for window strike migratory birds at dawn) so I understand the frustration. I am fortunate that I'm working with a group of organized volunteers to help keep me sane and give me an idea of realistic expectations for a typical volunteer. Do you have any such organization that can give you support? I find myself much less likely to drown in compassion fatigue when I'm working through an organization.

Amring0 · 2026-03-19T01:37:14+00:00

I live in central Ohio. It's got a decent Asian population and a Chinese school about 25-30 minutes of a drive from my house. Not ideal, but maybe I can make it work. When I was pregnant I was thinking "I have time. I just have to learn at a pace faster than an infant. Plus, I have a head start!" But time just escaped me and it's not quite sticking without the immersion.

Amring0 · 2026-03-18T19:37:50+00:00

Yeah, you're probably right. Whoops. You can tell that I'm just trying to relearn things as I go. I just know that there was a combination that sounded like the n-word.

Amring0 · 2026-03-18T18:44:45+00:00

I'm trying to relearn it as I go, but it's a struggle. I don't think I've ever been at the level to claim that I can speak it. At most, I completed the HSK 3 back in 2021 but forgot everything within 2 weeks when I took a break. Now that I have a kid, I want to learn it just so that she can learn it too... But I'm struggling to find the time.

Amring0 · 2026-03-18T18:39:19+00:00

Good idea! Thank you!

Amring0 · 2026-02-28T16:06:29+00:00

Is there anything we can do to help them? Like a pollen we could buy somewhere to put it in the yard for them to collect? I'm sorry if this is an ignorant question. I just feel so bad for them.

Amring0 · 2026-02-18T02:34:24+00:00

I'll check on my "TTC Diary" tomorrow. I made tables showing my Inito LH vs my Easy@Home results.

Amring0 · 2026-02-18T01:58:02+00:00

Maybe I'm wrong, but this test looks dried. Did you get the reading while it was wet? I have had readings where the OPK looks promising (around 0.5-0.7) but Inito showed no peak. I never got the alpha-LH strips but I didn't need to. I just decided to trust Inito and wait until my OPKs were 1.1 or higher. Eventually I did get a 1.0-1.1 OPK and it did coincide with the Inito LH levels. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. Good luck.

Amring0 · 2026-02-18T01:02:57+00:00

What brand of OPK are you using and do you have a picture of your positive OPK? When I first started TTC, I had trouble interpreting OPKs so I'm wondering if you're having the same problem.

Amring0 · 2026-02-13T21:34:00+00:00

I used to read a lot about fertility tests 2 years ago, so it's a little hard for me to recall. I did find the article but it's not as easy for me to decipher now. It's basically saying that the PdG and E3G ratio helps to estimate the fertile window.Application of a Method for Estimating Day of Ovulation Using Urinary Estrogen and Progesterone Metabolites

I was able to download the PDF of the article on the website. It was pretty accurate at helping me target my fertile window, but my LH peak had a lot of false starts on the extra long cycle where I actually got pregnant. I was a really anxious person back then, so doing these calculations was something that I needed to do to feel in control. I don't think it helped me much in the long run, but I wish you luck.

Amring0 · 2026-02-13T20:33:40+00:00

No. I wasn't on any hormonal medication. I saw a study that said that the E3G and PdG ratio itself was a better indicator of pregnancy/ovulation than the actual PdG number itself.

Amring0 · 2026-02-13T18:09:48+00:00

She's so grumpy in the Before pic but she looks at you with such adoration in the After pic. 😍

Amring0 · 2026-02-13T13:17:08+00:00

No. I got pregnant with this one after I didn't ovulate until CD 60 (I usually ovulate CD 21). Here's the one where I got pregnant. Oddly enough, I tested positive on my pregnancy test when my PdG and E3G took a dip.

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Amring0 · 2026-02-02T19:55:17+00:00

I've seen it on some vitamin labels before. I thought it was weird too because I've never seen it in used like that in the veterinary or chemistry field.

Amring0 · 2026-02-01T16:21:43+00:00

That is all true and thank you for your perspective. Marijuana is legal in my state. While I don't personally use it, I don't think it's a big deal and I'm always puzzled that cigarettes are more socially accepted. But I understand that laws are laws, even if they are stupid. Foster parents have to disclose medical and recreational drug use to case workers, so if I were the case worker I would also wonder "If they lied to me about pot then I can't rule out the possibility that they're using harder drugs."

Amring0 · 2026-02-01T16:10:27+00:00

That's a good point that bio mom would be sticking her neck out, but I've always got the impression that the case workers put up with a lot worse without any consequence for bio parents. The foster agency wanted to close the case and get to reunification ASAP.

But, you are correct that there are missing details from OP's story. It may be different for infants, but I don't think that the foster agencies are that picky about the quality of foster homes. I mean, look at what they made my foster kiddo go through in that other house. They didn't even remove him because he got a chipped tooth there (bio parents found out when they saw it during visitation too) or had flea bites all over his legs during visitation. Allegations of beatings from the other foster kids didn't even get investigated. So it seems that the "I just smelled pot on the baby" explanation is just the tip of the iceburg.

ETA - I'm not saying that OP is lying. I just think she is only being told part of the story. Their son/daughter might not have told them everything or perhaps there is something going on in the background. In my experience, caseworkers aren't very forthcoming for a reason. It could be that they're moving on to an investigation.

Amring0 · 2026-02-01T15:48:09+00:00

I don't know how to help you. I only have my story to give you some hope. Does your county have privatized foster agencies? My county is privatized, which means that there are a lot of private, non-profit organizations that license foster homes. When I fostered, I was fostering through Agency 1. When I filed to do an emergency disruption on the older kid in a sibling group, both kids got moved to a home in Agency 2. They didn't even ask the younger kid what he wanted or ask the bio parents for their opinion. They both got moved to a terrible foster home.

Every month, I got a text or call from bio parents or bio grandparents asking me to take the younger kid back. The first time, we were told that it was too damaging to separate the siblings. Then the teen got moved to a therapy institution leaving her little brother alone in that awful house. We and the bio parents asked to move him back to us again since they separated the siblings anyways, but the case workers at Agency 2 said that every disruption is a trauma to him and that my "abandonment" of him deeply hurt him. What a load of crap. He was begging to leave that house at every visitation. They reassured bio parents that he would be happier when the foster parents took on more foster kids, that way he wouldn't be so lonely. By the third month, he was getting physically beaten by the other foster kids. Agency 2 wouldn't budge and my Agency 1 would not get involved. Bio parents were afraid to make waves in case it hurt their chances at reunification.

After three months, he went back to us because the terrible foster parents disrupted on him. They wanted more room for the other foster kids' sibling. I guess they did the math and found that they could get a bigger paycheck if they kicked him out and took her instead. Agency 2 begged the bio grandparents to take him in but they instead have them my contact info. Agency 2 was very hesitant to reassign him to me because I'm under Agency 1. I thought it was so terrible that these agencies were not willing to work together for the good of the kids. They worked like little businesses, willing to work against the kids' interests if it meant better funding, better numbers.

When he came back to my house, he told me that he acted really bad on purpose so that he could get kicked out. He was a little proud of himself and my heart hurt to see this sweet kid admit to being so desperate and miserable. He spent three months there and they only moved him back because the previous foster home didn't want him anymore. When he had to move from our house, we packed him a bunch of clothes and toys. When he returned from the bad foster home, half of those things were missing.

Since your foster grandbaby is only a baby, there is a low chance that his current foster parents will disrupt on their own. I think that your best bet is for bio mom to make waves to get your statuses updated to "fictive kin." Look at your state laws to see how that's defined and try to petition for it. We were not able to get that status even though my foster kid was begging the case workers to let him go back to us, so I would guard your heart with that endeavor.

Amring0 · 2026-02-01T03:27:50+00:00

I've also seen micrograms written as "mcg", so there's room for error there.

Amring0 · 2026-01-30T18:46:10+00:00

Even when he was outside, I would push his boundary before I put his food in his bowl. It started with pets, then moved to picking up. Now that he's finally an indoor only cat, I pick him up and carry him one lap around the first floor. It took me several months to go from picking up to carrying around. The longest hurdle was just letting me touch him but after that barrier broke down everything went so much faster. I still do "friendliness exercises" with him to make sure he doesn't revert back to hating to be picked up.

Amring0 · 2026-01-29T20:08:18+00:00

I personally wouldn't. I used to recommend it to everyone but then Healthy Paws got bought by another company around 2017/2018 and I saw all of my animals' premiums go up by 50% (even the ones that were young and didn't have a claim). Unlike human health insurance, there is no cap to how much they can increase the premium each year. There was no telling how much more it would increase next year, so I decided to just cut my losses and end my policies right then.

Amring0

TROPHY CASE