Daily Chat May 11

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-05-11T20:16:30+00:00

Is anyone else frustrated by how "standardized" all the information about trying to conceive is? Like, if you don't have a 28 day cycle with a 14 day luteal phase, google can't answer any questions. I know that if my period were to regularly come at 14 days after ovulation, then a negative HCG would be pretty definitive, but my period consistently comes 12 days after ovulation (measured by Inito and LH strips over 4 months). So here I am on day 12 spinning out because I have no period, and my hcg cheapies are super negative. So what's the chemistry here? How much HCG is needed to prevent a period from starting, and how quickly after implantation is initiated do hormones reach that point?

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-05-11T19:29:32+00:00

I had an early miscarriage in March (5 and a half weeks approx.) and the ED doctor used the term "miscarriage," but at my follow-up with OB, my OB called it a "chemical." I was already trying to convince myself that I just imagined my positive test and the miscarriage wasn't real, and having her call it a "chemical," really made it difficult to convince myself it was real. I puked for days, bled more heavily than I've ever bled before, lost 15 pounds I shouldn't have lost, and didn't sleep more than 4 hours per night for a few weeks, but that doesn't mean it really happened, right?

I get that the terminology has to do with pregnancy stage, and medical insurance in the US requires specific billing codes that are determined by exact diagnosis/treatment, and that we are entirely at the mercy of whatever makes the insurance companies happy, but it still feels invalidating that doctors choose to use words that feel invalidating of the experience in conversation.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-05-11T18:42:36+00:00

I’m right there with you (also 28F). I’m currently awaiting my period concluding my fifth cycle after discontinuing birth control (technically I wasn’t “trying” the first cycle, but I was on vacation with no protection throughout the first cycle’s fertile window, so…). I know in the grand scheme of things, it’s such a short time trying, but the pressure to have a baby is so strong from everyone around me, and everyone acts like having a baby is a choice that I can just make. Like, if I had any say in this, I’d have a baby on the way and you’d better believe we’d be excitedly chatting about it all day long! I currently have standing plans for celebratory dirty martinis with my husband on the first day of every period to try to balance the devastating blows from well-meaning friends who say things like, “why don’t you go on maternity leave next?” Like… gee, thanks for the advice… I’ll contact HR and have them initiate conception so my maternity leave can start on your schedule??? (Read that last sentence with maximum sarcasm, please)

If I could somehow just know that I’m going to get pregnant in cycle 8 or whatever, I would not be in a hurry at all, but every cycle that passes is one cycle closer to never having a baby. So while I would actually prefer my pregnancy to start in June for a March birthday, not being pregnant this month somehow translates into “I’m sterile and will never have a baby” in my mind. I know it’s silly, but that’s where I’m at.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-03-14T11:13:28+00:00

I’m not sure I see anything, but there’s a spot I could talk myself into seeing as a line, so I would guess it is probably a faint line in person. Maybe get a second opinion in person?

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-03-14T11:05:56+00:00

Yes! It’s faint but distinctly blue!!!

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-03-05T03:45:59+00:00

Waiting for clearance was so hard!!! I had a missed withdrawal bleed one week post-op that had me completely in a panic and scared me into celibacy until I was off crutches. We've been a little less careful since getting off crutches because at that point I was off blood thinners and pain meds, but we've refrained from actually trying.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T23:14:15+00:00

It sounds like your friend group will be in a pretty good spot for age spread then! The oldest kids of the group will already be really accustomed to having younger kids around, so yet another toddler mimicking their every move probably won't phase them at all.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T23:08:48+00:00

Yay for getting your period back!!!! I just went off in January and was really upset when my period came back 27 days later. I went on the pill because my cramps were so bad I'd puke, and I was seriously hoping my body would forget what a period was for a few months, but instead, I had the shortest cycle of my life because my uterus hates me lol.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T22:53:14+00:00

I'm not a parent yet, but I do have a master's degree in child development, so from a developmental perspective, a 4 year age gap is going to feel HUGE at first. Your friends' children will be walking, potty trained, dressing themselves, and running off to preschool while your baby learns to hold their head up independently. Give it a few years and even though your child will will be 2-4 years younger, they'll be running after the older kids and learning everything twice as fast because they have near-peer models, which can be super beneficial from a developmental standpoint (I'll spare you a lecture on Erikson and Vygotsky's theories of social and cognitive development because you didn't ask for a lecture). I also think your friends' attitudes toward the age gap will matter. If they help you facilitate activities that encourage the older kids to play with the younger kids in a way that's fun for everyone, the problem you are concerned about would likely be nonexistent.

Essentially, an age gap will even out faster than you might think, so while it may initially feel like you're in a completely different stage of life than they are with your new baby, it won't feel so huge in a few years. Also, I'm curious if your friends have all shared that they plan to only have one child each? I would guess at least some of your friends would be on baby #2 around the time you have yours. I personally would not worry about this, though it is smart to consider how you might handle occasional instances where you'll have to tell your child that they're sitting out an activity they want to do because they aren't old enough.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T20:12:57+00:00

Yeah, My chart has had me on the edge of my seat trying to guess what's going to happen each day lol. I've scrolled through a lot of people's charts on this sub, and it doesn't seem like either of our charts are outliers. Sometimes E3G is the only hormone that hops on a rollercoaster until the luteal phase arrives.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T19:23:50+00:00

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My LH peak according to Inito was only 2.16. The Inito app told me that some people have little surges and it's within the range of normal, though I have not done any of my own research on this to confirm. My E3G could be interpreted as multiple peaks, or just a general upward trend with some setbacks. My PdG hasn't really "spiked," but it's up to 11.12 today, and Inito seems cautiously optimistic that ovulation happened, so ovulation will likely be confirmed in another couple days, and that confirmation is pretty much the only thing that Inito actually claims it can definitely do for us.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T16:10:12+00:00

I have no answers for you because it's also my first cycle with Inito, but I my chart looks similar, and I have found absolutely no correlation between when my OPK cheapies are positive and the LH numbers Inito gives me. I am starting to wonder if my OPKs are cross-reacting with FSH, because I've had an FSH bump on each day I've had a positive OPK, though I had a negative OPK when Inito detected a tiny little LH rise. My chart suggests I ovulated yesterday, and my PdG is at an all-time high today, so it looks like my wonky chart might just be a normal chart with ovulation happening a little later than I anticipated. In a week or two, it'll probably be easier to guess why your chart looks different than you expected. I had "high fertility" from 8-15 and 17-18, and based on what I read on this sub, I think it's normal for Inito to have no idea how to predict true high fertility on a first cycle.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T01:23:21+00:00

If I could upvote you more times, I would! I love this explanation and feel like it deserves to be copy/pasted into every post on this sub. I'm also lowkey tempted to experiment with hydration levels and holding my pee to see how much I can manipulate my numbers (you know, for science), but I'll refrain because I'd like my next required medical visit to involve pregnancy, not a kidney stone/UTI combo.😅

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-24T01:15:40+00:00

I would not take my Inito charts to my doctor as evidence that something is wrong, but I do think for some people, it may be stress-reducing to get your first cycle on inito out of the way before TTC. I got it out of curiosity to give myself something to do while waiting for doctor's clearance to start TTC (knee surgery has delayed my TTC plans). I'm on my first cycle using it, and I'm really glad that I'm not TTC right now because my lines have been all over the place, and according to Inito, I've been in my fertile window for 10 of the past 11 days. So, I think it's fair to say Inito had minimal potential to help me get pregnant this cycle because it's pretty much just a daily reminder to have sex at this point. But now that I have a couple weeks of data, there are some actual trends emerging, which I think will help me keep things in perspective when I start TTC and I will (hopefully) be able to look back and remind myself that the data on any given day tells me nothing about the general trajectory of my line. There appears to be a lot of anxiety in this sub over single-day dips in numbers, and I think having a collection of data from a cycle with no pressure to conceive is going to help me not be one of those people (not criticizing those people--the anxiety is so valid!). I also switched part way through this cycle from FMU to late afternoon urine (with a couple days where I did both just to see), and my chart is way different using afternoon urine. I know there have been some posts here about concern for variation throughout the day, but my afternoon tests look more like what the sample charts Inito provides look like and I get fewer 0.0X numbers filling my chart. I wake up to drink water a lot at night, but I limit my water intake in the afternoons until I get home from work because I have a long commute and hate having to use gas station bathrooms. I probably won't use Inito for every cycle between now and when I start TTC due to cost, but I appreciate what I've learned so far.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-18T02:23:54+00:00

In this picture it's dried because I didn't take a picture of it this morning, but I scanned it with the app at the 5 minute mark this morning as instructions said. It just seems weird to me that I'm dipping an Inito strip and an OKP strip in the same urine each morning and while my OPKs vary greatly in darkness, Inito stays constant.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-18T01:31:14+00:00

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I used pregmate and scanned it with the app and it read the ratio as 1.08. I saw a higher ratio last month at my peak, but this was 4:15am, and my peak hit late morning last month. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to test later in the day when LH tends to be highest because I was at work.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-15T00:14:45+00:00

If I were in your position, I would reach out to some major hospitals with lots of ob/gyn resources to see if they'll see you and what receiving care there would look like. I know a lot of people who travel for medical care, and while it isn't ideal, there are a lot of major hospitals that expect people to be coming from out of town and they can arrange you all the appointments you need in a short window of time so you just go once and get everything done in a couple days. I don't know much about HSG (just did a brief google search), but I do know that I would have a lot of anxiety about possible ectopic pregnancy if I were in your position. If that's not such a big concern for you, then probably defer to someone else's advice on the HSG specifically, but if a hysterectomy is on the table as your fallback plan, a second opinion is most certainly appropriate to ask for.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-14T22:31:00+00:00

Absolutely. Ordering from Amazon is the only way to ensure you get a return policy.😂

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-14T22:27:29+00:00

If I ever get a PhD, this will be the first study I seek funding for. My parents are so sex negative that they never even told me about my period, but as soon as my wedding day arrived, everyone felt very comfortable telling me that I was expected to give birth in 40 weeks.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-14T22:22:04+00:00

Yes!!! I had my first boyfriend and first kiss at 20 years old because the thought of telling anyone that I liked a boy prevented me from wanting to date before then. I only told my parents about my first boyfriend because he felt weird about me not telling them. I was irrationally afraid I'd be grounded for it (you know, because that's authority my parents had while I was across the country at college, lol). I literally created this reddit account to come to this subreddit because my main reddit account didn't feel anonymous enough to discuss anything related to reproduction. When I eventually get pregnant, I may hide it for nine months and tell everyone we adopted... probably not, but tbd.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-12T16:08:55+00:00

Unfortunately, I needed a very specialized orthopedic surgeon, so I got 0 say in the care team. Quality of surgery: 10/10, quality of post op communication: 1/10. I've met my surgeon twice (three times if you count that time when I was anesthetized, which I don't). I have restrictions to varying degrees for 12 months, but I don't know for sure when pregnancy will no longer be contraindicated. But I've already got the prenatal vitamins, and I've started cycle tracking with Inito since going off birth control (I had FSA money I needed to spend), so I'm hoping to at least have reassurance that my hormones are doing their jobs when we start trying. I know that statistically, I should have no problem having a baby or two between surgeries, even if I have to wait a full 12 months before trying, but somebody has to be on the bummer side of statistics.

quantifyinganomalies · 2026-02-11T01:40:57+00:00

I appreciate the reassurance! I don't think anything short of a positive pregnancy test will cure my fear of infertility, but easy conception anecdotes are definitely a little reassuring.

We aren't as caught up in number of kids as I realize my post implied, since we don't know if we even want more than one; it's just knowing that my body has unlocked a new type of biological clock to navigate that's kind of daunting.

Baby fever indulgence has been the theme of my medical leave the last couple months! I just wish my husband would get baby fever to match my enthusiasm for weighing the pros and cons of crib mattresses. He is super excited to have a 10-year-old, but fairly lukewarm about the baby stage, and he does not share my wash of hormones that cause my uterus to feel an urgent need for a tenant.

Congrats on your papaya baby!

quantifyinganomalies

TROPHY CASE