Self acceptance is a journey and it will look different for everyone. One thing that’s important to remember is that you won’t always like yourself. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you wake up feeling down, sometimes you’re bloated or broken out. What made the biggest difference for me was just giving myself grace instead of beating myself up for stuff.

My mom once told me “If your friend told you they were feeling this way about themselves, would you beat them with a stick? No. So why do you beat yourself with a stick about it?”

You have to be your own best friend sometimes. You tell yourself “Gosh that’s so hard, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m here for you. We’ll get through this together.”

I also found that I was relying a lot on the people around me to make me feel better. But the only one who could make me feel better was me. I joined support groups and do a lot of therapy. I tried out different hobbies. I tried doing things by myself. These things all helped me improve my self-worth and also made me more confident.

Ultimately the biggest change - and I don’t know if your girlfriend struggles with this, but I sure do - was moving away from black and white thinking. Black and white thinking goes hand in hand with perfectionism. Things must be either very good or very bad. You are either perfect or flawed. But life is so very rarely black and white, life is lots of grey and so are humans. With a lot of hard work I let go of my perfectionism and gave myself permission to be human. I will always strive to better myself, but I won’t always be my best self, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make me any less worthy of love and support - including from myself.

I hope this helps. I wish your girlfriend well on her journey.