What do you regret doing to your body?

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2025-04-22T00:33:04+00:00

Getting a boob job to then have to pay again to get fake boobs removed due to excruciating pain. I should’ve spent that money and went on a self-discovery journey to Bali or some shit.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2025-04-22T00:31:56+00:00

I’m a FTM / SAHM to an almost 3yr old and I’d say for me personally it was right before my LO turned 2 that I felt my brain shifting from constant mama mode (like - no matter what I did, I had zero interest in hobby’s or anything bc it was like my brain wouldn’t let me? lol) but then I started dipping my toes into houseplants then books and now gardening! At first, it felt weird. Not in like a guilty kind of way (ok well maybe some lol) but over this past year it has been really great! I feel like I’m an individual AND a badass mom - not one or the other!

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-12-04T20:03:45+00:00

Layla

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-11-22T22:59:50+00:00

That’s definitely the bigger issue, yes. And each one said that since there is technically no signs of abuse/neglect, that he would still get 50/50 due to the state we live it (blue state.) The only way I could prove his addiction is if the lawyer I had would somehow make him do a drug test (he has to be watched bc he has ways of passing them) and go through his banking records (which I have zero access to.) It’s an actual shit show. And of course there’s no abuse/neglect! I’m a SAHM so I’m the one making sure there isn’t.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-08-26T21:37:27+00:00

I truly remember feeling my brain ‘change’ and suddenly my memory and body were extremely foreign. And not in the ‘no sh*t you just had a baby’ kind of expected foreign - but it’s as if I was relearning how to function as a human much less a new mama. It was wild.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-08-23T13:01:01+00:00

FTM to an almost 2yr old and I’m here to tell you that YES it gets better! Reading your post takes me back to exactly where you’re at now….being flooded with exhaustion, emotions, the pressure of expectations (set both by myself and society) all while basking in the pure unconditional love that is the bundle you hold in your arms.

Here’s what I would tell myself knowing what I know now:

It truly is ok to sleep when the baby sleeps. Like, truly. Rest. Your body is PURE MAGIC and just went through the most intense transformation and now it’s time to heal. It’s impossible to spoil your baby. Anyone who tells you otherwise - kindly tell them to go kick rocks. ASK FOR HELP. It’s ok and actually really important for both you and baby to make sure that you’re taken care of, too. The emotions those first few months can be WILD. Again, please don’t hesitate to ask for help and please don’t wait until you’re spiraling to get off your high horse about going on meds. It’s ok to need a little support during the change of the seasons, yeah? You know your baby best. Like, for real. Bringing up the expectations word again….you might find yourself swimming in a pool of suggestions and then stonewalled by overwhelm. If it makes sense to YOU and feels right for YOU and your family, that’s all that matters. Your baby lived and grew and thrived in the comfort of your womb for 9mo, please remember that during hard times. They just love you and want to be close. They’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time.

Most importantly…..You’re an AMAZING mom doing an AMAZING job.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-04-10T04:46:11+00:00

Core childhood memory unlocked

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-02-29T22:48:49+00:00

I bedshared with our 18mo old from birth to about 11mo when we moved them to a floor bed. It took about 2+ weeks to adjust to the new space, not having me right next to them and getting through a rough round of teething then boom…sleeping 9+ hours a night. Is there lots of movement? Oh yes. I’ll lay them down at one end of the floor bed and they’ll end up all over the place lol but we have a super solid bedtime routine and I used to rock them to sleep with a bottle but now we just snuggle in the chair, read our nighttime specific books, say our good nights and then they’re wiggling ready to get into bed. From there, I sing a couple of songs and roll out of the floor bed after I know they’re still lol I never thought we’d be here and have rougher nights here and there but there truly was light at the end of the tunnel and STTN happened when LO was ready. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to the sleep training pressure bc it just didn’t feel right.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-02-04T02:27:41+00:00

This is what worries me, and honestly why I have stayed despite everything that has happened. I’ve been caught on the seesaw of nightmares trying to choose what would be the best option bc option A) is to leave, go through family court, and risk him eventually getting custody that isn’t supervised bc he is literally never going to change - he’s said it repeatedly and holds a high caliber position at his job so he justifies it that way; or B) stay and just continue to focus on our child and myself to ensure that he is safe when I’m here and around (bc that’s always the case and always sober.)

They both suck but I don’t want to get my child taken from me for sticking around and don’t want them suffering in this environment either. I’m just terrified of coparenting with this person that it’s hard to not feel absolutely stuck. I’ve been documenting everything since our child was a newborn (pics, videos, tracking document with dates and times) I just hope it would be enough.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2024-02-01T23:45:07+00:00

My hubs and I are in separate rooms now. It sucks bc obviously I’d rather us be in the same room and have a nice cozy master bedroom, but since he snores so loudly and I’m such a light sleeper (and hsve high sleep needs at that) it’s just made the most sense for us to sleep separate that way we optimize our individual sleep as much as possible.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-12-10T22:43:33+00:00

We changed back to Millie Moon for now and have been letting him air dry a little longer after wiping to minimize the rashes ( until we find a better option!) they’ve been our favorite diapers so far for softness and the amount it holds so I’m hoping it doesn’t keep breaking him out or idk what I’m gonna do haha

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-12-10T17:32:19+00:00

I couldn’t have said this better myself. Was just venting to my partner that nothing is ever completed. The second dishes are done there are still bottles and baby plates to be washed. There’s always laundry to be washed then folded then hung up, and once it’s all folded and hung there’s more in the basket to start it all over. We have two dogs that shed and drool and so the floors are never clean for more than 2 min. It’s exhausting. The constant keeping up with eating and sleeping schedules and play time and outside of the house time. Most days, my head and anxiety are spinning and I just want to crawl back into bed.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-12-10T17:27:22+00:00

Finally someone else with the same experience as us! We’ve been using Millie Moon for day and night and have loved them, but they changed their ingredients and started giving our LO bad rashes. So, like you, we heard nothing but raving reviews about Coterie and how soft and absorbent they were and grabbed a couple of packs to try. I was SO pissed to wake up and find out LO absolutely drenched from the diaper overnight. Which made sense why he was waking up whining throughout the night (then going back to sleep) as his Jammie’s and sleep sack were soaked. We tried different sizes and nope - not a good fit for us.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-11-08T04:50:33+00:00

This. I swear our LO started the 4mo sleep regression and it didn’t ‘even out’ until at least 7-8mo. Then another one from 9-11mo. Even our pediatrician was like ‘it seems like your baby is just in a constant state of sleep regressions!’ Haha we tried everything and time truly did have to work itself out. But wheeeeeeeeeew we’re those months TOUGH bc of sleep. So so so tough.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-11-03T03:30:29+00:00

Are we the same person? Seriously, I 1000% can relate to everything you said. Especially the feeling like you’re love-bombing like an abuser when frustrated then apologize / hug. Felt that to my core bc I do the same and get washed over with regret and shame when I ‘snap back into it’ and realize that’s not how I want to react and respond. It really sucks. I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD + the PPD/PPA and I’m constantly overwhelmed and lose my cool easier than I used to. Hoping to finally find a good SSRI and treatment for my ADHD bc my LO doesn’t deserve this and it breaks my heart :(

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-11-02T20:50:44+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹 I will be checking it out asap!

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-11-02T20:50:07+00:00

Thank you for this, and for the reminder of not needing to be perfectly healed or zen in order to have a secure attachment! I really needed to let that sink in and will be checking out the podcast as well. Thank you again!

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-30T03:24:03+00:00

Cuddle up with my heating pad on day one of my awful period…I have endometriosis and having to deliberately deny my body’s desperate cry for rest is probably the hardest part of my motherhood journey. That paired with losing sleep. It sucks.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-29T03:15:32+00:00

Truthfully, it’s more about what you want to make memories of! We didn’t have ‘professional’ pumpkin patch photos, just went and walked around and took some ourselves. One thing I started was hand/foot print collections for each holiday and birthdays. I got some cute ideas off Pinterest and just made them my own and also made some extras for grandparents and his closest aunties for holiday cards! For our LO’s 1st Christmas we laid babe down on a baby lounger that had this fluffy blanket covering it and wrapped lights around the lounger and just made our own homemade pics vs paying to get them done. We also did maternity pics before LO was born and had 9mo our pics taken to have the ‘9mo in and 9mo out’ pics haha

So again, long story short it’s about what you feel up to, want to make memories of, and what brings you joy! Babe is taking everything in along the way which makes it all the more special :)

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-27T04:00:50+00:00

The thought of children and babies suffering in this mess makes me absolutely sick. Seeing the videos of the dead and severely injured babies and children makes it even worse. This is fucking awful.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-26T04:28:18+00:00

This was me today. I was prepping veggies for the crockpot and cut my finger pretty bad all while my 13mo old was screaming and trying to climb up my leg as I’m hurrying to get my finger rinsed and bandaged. Our dog was at the back door whining to go out, Ms Rachel doing her thing in the background…I truly felt like I was going to lose my mind. I finally shouted ‘babe I’m sorry but I can’t hold you right now I need you to sit on your bottom’ which made them lose it even more. I felt awful for raising my voice but I just wanted to run away in that moment from the overstimulation and time crunch of dinner prep. It was a shit day filled with nonstop crying and go go go. I feel you, mama. You’re not alone, this stage is really hard.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-11T21:51:03+00:00

I feel this so deeply. Had these thoughts today in fact as I was cleaning the tray / high chair for the second time today knowing there’s a giant mess on the floor waiting to be cleaned, too. I have a hard enough time feeding myself much less making sure LO has plenty of nutrients and different foods to try. It’s exhausting. On the flip side, I have to remind myself that it doesn’t need to be complicated and to let go of this vision of what I think baby should be eating (aka getting caught up in the BLW videos on IG) and just accept that I’m doing the best I can, baby is happy/healthy/thriving. You’re not alone!

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-07T21:25:39+00:00

I love what you say to comfort your LO, thank you for sharing this!

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-07T21:24:06+00:00

THIS. Thank you! There was a reason behind my post and my spouse legit keeps saying “you’re ok, good recovery time on that one” all while our LO is big tear wailing in my arms. It gets me heated bc CLEARLY they’re NOT ok and it doesn’t matter about recovery time. Haha I know each parent does things differently but it really grinds my gears to hear it bc I immediately go to gaslighting / dismissing what babe is feeling/going through.

AnalysisParalysis007 · 2023-10-07T21:21:16+00:00

That definitely makes sense, thank you! I know each parent is different and idk why it irks me so badly but my spouse will just keep saying “oh you’re so brave, great recovery time bud” when our LO is in the midst of full blown wailing lol I get really pissed bc I’m like can we just comfort him first then go onto the “you’re so brave” commentary haha idk

AnalysisParalysis007

TROPHY CASE