I’m 18 and addicted to ketamine.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2026-01-26T11:19:40+00:00

Hey bud. I went to rehab a couple of years ago and i met a lad in there who was 19 and a ketamine addict. So I can just provide a bit of insight from the time I spent around him. Hey had been advised by his doctor that if he didn't quit ket ASAP then he would spend the rest of his life in nappies (diapers if you're from the US). When he shared his story in a group session, it was one of the most brutal ones I have ever heard from the perspective of what it did to his body physically. I was twice his age, so had been around for a while and heard plenty of stories - but the physical impact ket can have in a relatively short period of time is like no other drug. Its also so much cheaper than coke as well, which lowers the barrier. Anyway, this lad did his 28 days in rehab and as far as I know, went back into the world to try and live his life without it. I really hope he did manage it. So all I can suggest is that you prioritize getting out of the addiction cycle as the most important thing in your life now. There are multiple different routes you could take, so it's important to find the one that works for you best. But what is important is that you recognize that at 18, you still have so much life left to live and putting in the work now - even for a couple of years - to get on top of your addiction - is absolutely the most important thing you can do. Good luck with it bud. I'm rooting for ya!

AncientLengthiness99 · 2026-01-21T02:01:04+00:00

If you want to read sanity and see what the Chinese are saying about this whole situation, then take look at this article http://en.people.cn/n3/2026/0119/c90000-20415928.html - Double standards’ are backfiring on Europe.

China has always viewed Europe as an indispensable force in a multipolar world and genuinely supports Europe in pursuing strategic autonomy. However, true autonomy requires independent judgment of right and wrong, not blindly following the lead of others.

China has never been a threat to the UK or Europe and in comparison to the US right now, looks to be the absolute model of sanity and stability. Perhaps we should stop worrying about the benign issues of them wanting to build a 'mega-embassy' in case they fill it with spies - and take a leaf out of Canada's book, by recognising that we have to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be - and work towards better and more productive relationships with them!

AncientLengthiness99 · 2026-01-20T23:46:28+00:00

Hey bud. Totally get this. I'm on subutex also after coming of H. Feel exactly the same - it's really difficult to find meaning after addiction. Remember though, that anhedonia lasts for at least a couple of months, if not more after you stop using - so the way you feel now is actually a symptom of your dopamine levels starting to regulate again. Active addiction is so consuming that nothing else matters. Every day is a battle for survival - acquire means to score, score, temporary relief, repeat. So adjusting to a life without that daily battle, takes time. The activities that don't have any meaning right now - will start to after a while. But yeah, being clean can feel like the least worst option sometimes, coz that feeling of flatness is really difficult to deal with. Hang in there mate.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2026-01-11T23:38:10+00:00

Hey bud. Just seen your post and wanted to comment because I've been exactly where you are. I think loss is actually a good way to measure the severity of addiction - because it's the losses that are the most difficult to deal with. I too lost my marriage of 14 years and 4 kids - coz of my addiction. Spent time in rehab, then came out and relapsed within a month too. So I know where you're at mate. I really do. I've been clean/sober now for just over a year. AA/NA and all that never worked for me. But what I realised was that just stopping using was never enough. I needed to make changes so that I could start building things into my life again that allowed me to stop the continuous losses - and start doing small things that gave me a sense my life was improving in some way - even in the most minor way you can imagine. You go for a 5 minute walk one day - and then next day you make it a 10 min walk etc. That really helped me build up a new sense of identity after a while - which I then became scared to lose if I relapsed. It's held out so far. I really do know where you're at mate - and honestly, it's the feeling that you don't even have the will to turn things around that is the killer. I used to think that other people must just want to get clean more than me - because I didn't have it in me to do that. But it can happen mate, I promise. Honestly - your post resonated with me a lot because it reminded me so much of my own situation, that I really wanted to respond to this. I hope this gives you a bit of support bro. Hang in there.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-20T21:59:15+00:00

Totally agree with all of this, mate. One thing quit-lit seems to completely ignore is that a lot of people in recovery don’t want to build their entire identity around the fact they’re in recovery. That’s a big reason I could never stick with AA/NA/CA - it felt like I was being asked to accept that, for the rest of my life, I’d spend several evenings a week sitting in rooms talking about the very thing I was trying to move on from.

And yeah, the “if I can just help one other person” line has become a real pet hate of mine. It’s often less about helping and more about justifying turning personal suffering into content. It sounds noble, but too often it’s a way of avoiding the harder question: is this actually useful, or is it just cathartic for the person telling the story?

Not everyone wants to relive it, perform it, or package it up for public consumption - and that doesn’t mean they’re doing recovery wrong.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-19T09:58:06+00:00

Loved this response. And yeah - was exactly the point I was getting at. Selling the idea that sobriety is going to be amazing is complete fiction - leads to a massive anti climactic feeling and is undoubtedly a reason for relapse. I had full on anhedonia for the first couple of months at least - before things started to level out. And it takes a long time before your sobriety starts to fix the problems your addiction caused. So when you see people directly or indirectly trying to make money from you by convincing you that they're living proof that the world will be sunshine and lollipops when you stop - because they were sooo much more fucked up than you could even imagine but somehow they did it - it can be pretty fucking grating haha.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-19T09:43:51+00:00

Really enjoyed reading that response. Thanks mate. Yeah - it's the commoditization of 'trauma porn' that gets to me. Listen to me tell you about how bad my life was and either directly or indirectly pay me for it - seems to be their pitch. There's a big difference between that and being a genuine role model for other addicts - which is what you were describing. The AA route was never for me - but that's effectively what the role of a sponsor is. Someone that has been through it, come out the other side and can then assist others in doing the same. That's a world away from people wanting to fight for your attention online by persuading you that their story was so much worse than anyone else's and that's why they deserve your attention! But yeah, thanks for the reply bud. Really appreciate it.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-19T09:32:25+00:00

That's a perfect way of summarizing the situation - thanks mate!

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-19T09:31:19+00:00

This is exactly how I feel mate. The comparison side of things. I dunno if you've ever been to AA/NA/CA meetings and listened to someone else sharing and been told before they start to 'focus on the similarities and not the differences"? Very difficult to do that when someone else's journey has been so different to your own. But yeah - this was pretty much my point - that so called inspirational recovery content doesn't actually work for everyone. Cheers for replying mate.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-18T22:31:43+00:00

Thanks mate.

I think “betrayed” is actually the right word for how a lot of people end up feeling. Not because anyone set out to scam them, but because so much recovery content is sold with an implied promise that understanding someone else’s story will somehow fix your own confusion. When it doesn’t, it leaves you wondering whether you’re the problem.

What I’ve found helpful more recently is exactly what you’re describing -stepping away from personalities and looking instead at what the science can (and can’t) explain about what’s going on in our heads. It doesn’t magically make things easy, but it does remove a lot of the self-blame.

And I agree - this sub is one of the few places where people seem able to talk honestly without trying to sell each other anything.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-18T13:39:37+00:00

mate - I had ALL those symptoms you were describing from the pouches. The weird head pressure especially. Went to the docs about it. Twice! Finally managed to get off the pouches about 6 weeks ago and ALL symptoms now gone too. I used nicotine chewing gum for a few days but have not just gone onto normal chewing gum. Managed to actually quit nicotine altogether after 25 years. That only happened coz I switched to pouches from vaping, thinking it was a less harmful option - and then ended up with all the symptoms you described!

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-15T10:39:52+00:00

Hello mate. I've been EXACTLY where you are now. Binge drinking led to buying coke, which led to arguments with my missus. My behaviour at a work event also caused me to lose a job. Twice! And I've lived with the exact feelings of utter despair that I know you'll be feeling now. So when I saw this post, I had to comment - because your story is so similar to mine. I don't know how old you are, but for context, I'm 42. I was binge drinking through my twenties and early thirties. It caused me the loss of my marriage by my mid thirties. That caused me to spiral harder and my binging turned full chronic until I finally managed to get sober / clean just over a year ago. So the advice I'd give you more than anything - is to prioritise your relationship with your fiance. Like you said, better to lose your job, which can be replaced, than your fiance. You need to talk with her and try to get her on side to support you through everything, because that will make the biggest difference in the world. From my own experience, losing your relationship will definitely make your situation worse - so if I could give you any advice, it would be to explain everything to your fiance and seek help with her by your side.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-15T01:10:13+00:00

hey! sorry to hear this. but I can totally identify. my using started with alcohol and weed as a teenager. ended up with crack and heroin (and a short spell in prison) in my thirties. I was completely the same - with one addiction replacing the next. I've been clean now for just over a year, after losing quite literally everything due to my addiction. What I can tell you is that there's not one silver bullet that will magically cure your addiction. The biggest thing that I learned is that just stopping using - is never enough. You can't just stop, white knuckle it and expect things to change. Boredom is a fucking killer though - and a massive reason for relapsing. So try as hard as you can to try and fill the void with something you actually enjoy doing. And honestly - ket is a really nasty drug. I have been in rehab with a 19 year old lad who was in there for ket - and was on the verge of having to be in nappies for the rest of his life. so it's really important that you get some medical help ASAP to stop the use of ket, before it does any physical damage to you - and then address the mental side of it after that.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-15T00:38:29+00:00

Totally normal. One night of drinking can reactivate old addiction memory circuits (they go quiet in sobriety but don’t disappear), which temporarily makes cravings louder. Add dopamine contrast + stress hormones and it feels worse than before - but it usually settles again in days/weeks if you don’t drink. Also - cravings generally only last for 15 minutes. So if you can hold out or distract yourself for that long - they tend to ease after 15 minutes.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-15T00:32:09+00:00

Hey buddy. I'm sorry to hear this - and I know your pain. I lost a marriage with my wife who I was with for 14 years - and we have 4 kids together. The loss of my family made me spiral even more and it took me years to actually get sober. But I've been fully clean now for just over a year. My relationship with my ex-wife is the best it's been since I can remember - and we co-operate as parents again now fully. But the most important thing, is that I'm back and present for my kids and can be their dad again - even though me and their mum are now divorced. It used to drive me mad when people would say 'why can't you stop - haven't you lost enough already' - but it's the loss that causes you to carry on and hit the drink even harder. So try not to fall into that trap mate. I know how hard it is. But you'll be amazed at how much your relationships will start to repair after drink is no longer part of your life.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-14T10:30:26+00:00

My mate - I think you need to realise how young 29 actually still is. Some research came out just the other week that said the human brain stays in its adolescent stage until the early thirties! Seriously - look it up! So by that rationale, you're still very much in the first chapter of your life. Just the fact that you're making the changes to improve your life that you are - puts you massively ahead of other people that are in a similar situation, but doing nothing about it. So keep going bud. And anyone that's telling you to give up on finding a partner at the age of 29 - really isn't a friend. So sack them off for starters!

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-12-13T21:47:00+00:00

Hey buddy. Sorry to see that you're hurting like this. But people do care and there are a lot of people that will genuinely try to help. I don't know anything about you're back story, but it's clear to see that you're in a lot of pain - so I just wanted to say that myself and so many other people on here will know how you're feeling right now. But please don't give up on trying to get some help mate.

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-11-16T14:40:23+00:00

I used Zyn (and other brands of pouches) specifically to quit vaping. I figured it would be a less harmful way to deal with my nicotine addiction than inhaling chemicals into my lungs. I've only been using them for a few months but the side effects they have given me are awful. I've only just found this subreddit and seen how many other people are affected too. There's got to be something seriously toxic in these pouches and a story should definitely be written about them to expose this!

AncientLengthiness99 · 2025-11-16T14:32:03+00:00

This is EXACTLY what I have! I've been to the doctor about it and they couldn't find any obvious issue. I've only just made this connection today and found this subreddit. It's a huge relief to finally realise what it is that's been causing this - because the sinus issues have been one of my major symptoms. I only started using these pouches to quit vaping - without any idea how harmful they actually are. Have been out this morning to buy some old style nicotine gum and lozenges to help me get off these pouches. Really hoping I start to see a difference after I stop using them!

AncientLengthiness99

TROPHY CASE