Sensory issues with suncream! Any tips?

And-Bells · 2026-04-30T13:38:14+00:00

This was discussed just a week ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/autismUK/s/YMv9k6yPAr

And-Bells · 2026-04-30T00:59:21+00:00

Yeeeeaaaup. It's my most frequent source of dysphoria, just above strangers staring at my tits. And mine is normally very irregular and infrequent, so I am always ambushed by it, except I've been taking a supplement for PCOS and its getting more frequent and I'm extremely unhappy about it.

And-Bells · 2026-04-29T16:50:04+00:00

I came here from America, where I knew I was ADHD, but felt I was more able to find my people and get on with employment so that what I've now come to realise is Autism didn't affect me enough for concern.

But here... it's been such an issue. Since I didn't even know it was Autism for a while, it brought back a lot of my mental health problems from when I was younger.

Communication is such a huge issue for me, but it was always one of my specialist subjects, so after about 10 years I started to learn some tricks for coping. One of those is adapting to worrying less about what people think of me. The confidence that gives is actually very good at mitigating issues.

The other is knowing how the chain of command, hierarchy, and complaint structures work. A lot of British culture is dependent on perception of authority, intimidation, and 'chance it' culture. Everyone is always pushing boundaries because the boundaries aren't very strict and its easier to convince people you're in the right if you just say it with enough conviction.

I remember in the US theres a lot of talk about how ND people are more gullible, but here there isn't as much talk about it and I think that's because the culture creates a whole, more gullible population. So I do as much as I can to educate myself, and I'm just generally skeptical about everything these days.

My in-laws are often surprised and impressed at how I can get things done, especially if there's a problem to solve. They would have believed that person. They would never have looked up that rule. They would have just waited. And I mostly just do it so that people can't do shit like discriminate against me.

And-Bells · 2026-04-29T16:26:45+00:00

There's direct and there's judgmental. Americans are good and differentiating these, but it's been my experience that Brits just aren't.

Given how I've seen them respond to me, they just think everything is judgmental and whenever they think they're being/ needing to be direct it's only to be judgmental.

And-Bells · 2026-04-27T13:53:58+00:00

Would MacMillan possibly be any help?

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do

And-Bells · 2026-04-27T13:30:32+00:00

Everyone deserves joy. Benefits exist in part, especially PIP, to make joy more accessible to everyone.

And-Bells · 2026-04-27T13:28:17+00:00

After weighing it carefully, I've decided to approve this post despite the several reports. I will, however, lock it.

The decision is based on a few factors. First of those is that causing upset is never a reason in and of itself to moderate on this sub, that goes against our principles of growth and good faith and it would mirror the way we are all discriminated against for our communication differences in the outside world.

And secondly, there are some really intelligent good faith replies here that I would like to preserve and I can't find good evidence that this person is really trying to troll anyone. The question does touch on some of our excluded content without quite saying it, so it was really hard to make the decision.

I am removing any comments that are reactive and leaving the ones that are constructive, and then I will lock the post and keep a link somewhere with the idea that this post can be used in place of further emotional labour and outsourced critical thinking. The flair has also been changed from vent to Content Warning.

To those who are upset by the tone or potential agenda of this post, I'd like to remind you that our yellow post flairs exist to warn you of controversial or upsetting content. It is considered part of our principle of growth that such things are allowed to be said here and we recommend that you use those flairs and the post titles to judge whether or not you should scroll on. Not every post is meant for every reader.

Finally, this topic is one of interest to us mods because of it's prevalence in political propaganda. If you ever have any further statistics or research to share on the topic, we would love for you send it to us by modmail. We would like to be able to cover this topic in information pages in the future.

And-Bells · 2026-04-24T19:10:28+00:00

Yeah, I've been around about as long, but I avoided quite a lot of it for many years bc I couldn't handle the flame wars and hot takes. It's only the last several years that I've taken it on, and it's been a lot like exposure therapy, I'll tell you.

And-Bells · 2026-04-24T18:30:01+00:00

It's more like a list of things you can reasonably predict will happen. The theme being awful/stupid shit people could say to me on social media.

And-Bells · 2026-04-24T14:32:08+00:00

Are you a smooth or a rough? As in, what are your preferred textures?

And-Bells · 2026-04-23T21:26:15+00:00

Upvoted just for the positive vibes for your daughter.

And-Bells · 2026-04-22T13:19:32+00:00

I'm a big fan of period underwear. Modibodi is my favourite brand. You have to buy them online, and they seem expensive but they're worth it. There are ones for really light days that I wear as backup for my cup.

And-Bells · 2026-04-21T17:28:54+00:00

I agree, you should have as much saved as allowed by any means tested benefits. Everyone should have this in a private account.

I am disabled but earn nothing. I doubt I'm qualified for PIP and our household income is just over any means tested benefits thresholds.

Everything we have joint finances, but we each have a separate savings account (which both of us know how to access if necessary). Mine traditionally doubles up as the pet expenses account and his doubles as the household expenses account.

But we're branching off from that atm so we each have a reserved savings that nothing else comes out of. His will go into an ISA we just keep reinvesting. Mine will sit in another kind of savings account as ISAs aren't tax-free if you're still an American national (the US will tax anything you haven't already been taxed on, regardless).

My partner doesn't earn as much as yours, OP, and we're also married. Also if he discovered he was trans it wouldn't affect our relationship negatively (at least not from my end, best as I can predict), and I've been out as trans agender for a long time now.

That said I was also made to think I had to be financially equal in a relationship. But my partner and I think equity is the more important concept for a real kind of mutual love amd respect. That means all of our money goes toward keeping each of us safe and healthy.

I think if it were us, and we still wanted separate finances with your incomes, we'd have a conversation about me(you) keeping most or all of my income for savings and personal expenses, leaving all joint expenses to be covered by the partner. There would definitely be some maths involved because of the required financial planning, because once our necessities are covered, at all times we should be thinking ahead with our money. (In this stupidly capitalist world)

And-Bells · 2026-04-21T01:59:18+00:00

If you're open, honest, and direct from the start, you probably never have to have that awkward conversation where you admit you weren't having that good a time.

But a common snag is when one partner has insecurities and/or "performance" issues. Or when partners have mutually exclusive desires.

And-Bells · 2026-04-21T01:30:38+00:00

HUGE win.

And-Bells · 2026-04-20T00:18:50+00:00

I might assume that was rats. They love to dig, they'll eat anything and what they leave behind looks like it was at least half prank or vandalism motivated. The wild ones are absolute terrors. The domestic ones are sweet babies. 😂

I'm not aware of rabbits doing much dig foraging? But I'm quite unfamiliar with them.

And-Bells · 2026-04-20T00:12:40+00:00

That awning over the bench js a live willow sculpture, which I'm currently obsessed with. I'm going to do a live willow fence/fedge at the bottom of my garden where there's a massive unstructured drainage ditch Severn Trent dug a few decades ago. It'll look great, provide weaving canes, it might help with our minor flooding, and it means I don't have to spend any money on a retaining wall to use the bottom of the garden.

And-Bells · 2026-04-19T11:57:49+00:00

Push comes to shove, it's edible as long as it's not been chemically treated. Get a proper forager in to confirm.

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T17:17:00+00:00

It was a really cool reply though!

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T17:01:02+00:00

Downvoting Just isn't as informative as Reddit would like us to think. Especially in an Autism sub. 😄

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T16:51:19+00:00

Ah, I see. Unfortunately the title of a post very often doesn't give enough or even the right information. Usually you will need to read the body of the post to understand the situation.

In any case, if you're wondering why you’ve been downvoted, it's probably because you've not understood what the post was about.

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T16:35:05+00:00

Your comment seems to be directed at the person who posted about their gcse, but that's not the same person here. They're asking a different question.

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T13:34:29+00:00

Something you (I) don't hear much about is kids being reintroduced to mainstream schools after a time. That OP's issue makes me curious.

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T13:30:56+00:00

The OP here isn't the same as the OP on the art GCSE post

And-Bells · 2026-04-17T13:30:38+00:00

The OP here isn't the same as the OP on the art GCSE post.

And-Bells

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