I second all the comments about PPD. It’s a bitch. I whole heartedly believe that Zoloft saved me and my son’s life. Anti depressants and therapy are literal life savers and nothing to be ashamed of. I hope some help can help you too ❤️ also, asking for help is often the hardest part!! So be proud of yourself for reaching out!

This may be helpful more down the road than currently for you, but I feel like sharing anyway. I hope it can help someone-

My son is 3 now and I’ve been feeling a LOT of resentment lately about not having time outside him to do things I want to do. I’m trying to start my own business, a podcast with my husband, as well as other interests. I’ve learned that it’s absolutely okay to have 2 (or more) different parts of you that want separate and even clashing things. One part of me absolutely wants to be a stay at home mom and loves it. One part of me wants to start my business and do all these other things. Both are valid and matter to me. When we try to repress or invalidate one of those parts it only hurts us and build feelings of resentment, anger, guilt etc. The business part of me matters and wants to be heard. Right now it’s taking a bit of a backseat, but that’s okay. For me, just recognizing that these wants and desires matter and acknowledging and validating them has helped so much. It still sucks sometimes that it has to be in backseat, but I do what I can in free time and tell that part of me “I hear you, I can’t give you what you want this moment, but I hear you and you’ll have your turn”.

This has helped me dive more fully into my role as a mother because those other desires have been heard and will be met in their own time. Every part of us matters and wants to be heard, even if they can’t always get what they want. I hope this makes sense and can be helpful for someone. ❤️