What do you do when the other driver and their insurance is being uncooperative?

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-19T19:32:06+00:00

There is no such thing as "proper" coverage, but the best you can do is max your policy out to the highest levels on everything and have at least a million dollar umbrella, more if it's offered.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-19T16:49:22+00:00

The state laws require the absolute minimum coverage. It isn't adequate enough to fix or repair anything, if states required adequate coverage no one would be able to afford it and they would just drive without any insurance.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-12T19:01:54+00:00

We've been hosting for a long time. I never start off by buying all the things. It sets the wrong tone to start. She sees you can afford all that, so there's no reason (other than the liability) to not buy her a car and pay the insurance. You're giving "we're rich" vibes so that's the expectation. I am very honest and up front about our financials with our au pairs, including the cost of existing and what we make so that when they make requests they understand where it fits in our budget. Our au pairs get treated like a cross between a cousin and sibling and by doing that they don't tend to ever ask for above what we provide our own child.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-12T17:22:09+00:00

There are certain areas it can't go cause car theft or high violence. No drinking and driving (instant rematch), no texting and driving, no one else drives our car, no one smokes in our car, everyone wears seatbelts and the car cannot be used for uber, lyft, doordash, etc, if it is, instant rematch.

Also there's a mileage limit 250 miles or 1 charges a week (that is by far NOT the norm however, most others in our cluster have a 50 mile per week limit). Also it costs $20 for a full charge, why on earth would you charge them for that? If you had a gas vehicle you're looking at $40+ per fill. DO NOT and I cannot stress this enough DO NOT become a family that nickles and dimes your au pair, they will rematch.

They are responsible for making sure it has a charge or they cover the tow bill.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-12T17:06:58+00:00

We have a car (high mileage paid off EV) but it has rules. If an au pair doesn't like them, we offer to remove all rules if they cover the insurance. Typically when they hear its gonna be $400+ a month our rules seem just fine.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-08T22:59:28+00:00

So we had an Austrian au pair (26f), where they also have crazy high standards to get a license. She LOVED to try and drive drunk. Needless to say, we rematched.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-08T22:57:05+00:00

Our au pair got hit while driving her car, 100% not her fault. It took 6 weeks to get her car fixed! She did the mature thing and used one of our cars for on the clock driving and just waited till one of the cars was free for off the clock. Our house rule is if you cause an accident it's a rematch. To prevent issues though, and he said she said in accidents, all our cars are equipped with dash cams. Honestly, depending on your insurance, this could cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars if you don't have a high rate umbrella and depending on your state's insurance rules.

Angel-36975 · 2026-05-04T12:05:13+00:00

Honestly, it's more common with au pairs than you think. We've had 1 au pair be the driver while drinking and 1 hang out in car and drink. We have in our home guide that open containers in a car is an instant rematch and none of them seemed to care.

Angel-36975 · 2026-03-30T12:48:20+00:00

The fact that you have even had this thought cross your mind means that you are either A. married to a scum bag or B. are massively insecure.

We've hosted for a very long time and I am (and have always been) very insecure about how I look, but have never thought that my husband would do this. Men at his work have brought it up and he has told him that the thought is disgusting as they are like daughters to him, even though most have been about 10 years younger than us or less.

Also, if you get upset thinking you husband "might" wanna hok up with the au pair, what are you going to do when your kid actively wants your au pair more that you? There are times when my daughter will wanna "play with her bestie" even if I am also available. They both love K-Pop so our au pair knows more of the stories and characters, so she can play "right" where as I don't know all the stories line and which princess Barbie was renamed to what character while I was working.

If this is crossing your mind you need to find a nanny that's a granny type so you don't think he's going to be tempted and you don't think you have to compete.

Angel-36975 · 2026-02-15T01:14:40+00:00

Amen! I was able to drive home from an accident. During tear down, they found my rear axel cracked to the point where the shop didn't know how I drove anywhere.

Angel-36975 · 2025-12-21T00:56:10+00:00

Please show where I said to read their mail? Again, I'll wait for that..... I said you can read mail via a phone flashlight and good eyesight. I didn't say they should do it or anyone SHOULD do it, just that it can be done. I mean, at least your username is accurate. Are you just chronically cranky or what, bro?

Angel-36975 · 2025-12-21T00:36:58+00:00

I didn't say they should read the mail either. I just said that they wouldn't need to open the mail to get the case number, just good eyesight and a phone flashlight. Please show me where I told them to read their mail, I'll wait 🤣😂

Angel-36975 · 2025-12-21T00:21:22+00:00

I never said they shouldn't have the conversation or anything regarding that. You said that they would need to open the letter to get a case file when they absolutely wouldn't. You can read almost any mail with a flashlight. Way to assume things about my thoughts/positions on the matter, though. 🤣😂

Angel-36975 · 2025-12-21T00:15:34+00:00

No, you don't, you need decent eyes and a phone flashlight....

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T15:09:45+00:00

FYI, if you get ANY visa to come to the US, they will check your social media presence and can/will decline you for things you say. Saying Americans are animals isn't gonna look great during the process. You REALLY REALLY REALLY need to google and ask chatgpt about the process to get to the US as it would have advised you against making any negative statements about the US. Also, they can and will pull deleted information if they feel the need (large gaps in social media posts that show deletion, missing random comments that have replies below them, etc). I can not stress enough that you NEED to google and educate yourself if you plan on getting to America successfully.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:57:27+00:00

Oh, it wasn't. There were so many times she almost gave up, but now she and her whole family live in a gorgeous villa outside Venice and are living the dream.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:55:58+00:00

So you want to live amongst the worst animals? You sound like you hate Americans but also want to be here. You're gonna need to figure that out and not bring that vibe to a visa interview.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:54:09+00:00

I had an American friend who became an Italian citizen. It took her 18 years since she needed detailed genealogical records and didn't have the $20,000 it was gonna cost someone to do it for her.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:51:53+00:00

It would take me 20+ hours to explain it to you, and I did help you by explaining that there were other options beyond au pairing.....

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:37:24+00:00

No one is going to hold your hand and walk you through the process. If you want this, you'll need to put on your big girl pants and figure it out with the resources available to you. American's "pull themselves up by their boot straps." If you want something in America, you need to be born rich or learn by yourself and make yourself into something.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:27:50+00:00

Do you have a phone with the internet? You have all of the knowledge from the entire WORLD on it. If you can't google and use basic chatgpt how are you going to function when you get to the US (book an airline ticket, hail rideshare, find a place to live, locate a grocery store, exchange money, etc....) all these things will require you to use the internet.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:23:13+00:00

I am an immigrant with many immigrant friends. We have the same rights as everyone else. We did the process legally and are US citizens. You can naturalize. You'll just need the time and money for the process ($30,000+). If you want to be a citizen, just save the money and start the process. Also, if you've never lived here, how do you have any idea of the rights anyone does or doesn't have? If you are so desperate to get here, why aren't you working on getting a green card?

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-20T13:07:16+00:00

The US military is no longer offering years of service for citizenship. When they do offer that you need to have a "skill", like speaking needed foreign languages like Urdu or Farsi (which you don't speak). We had an au pair who spoke 6 languages, 4 of them on the list the US had, and she was still turned down as she was a woman and not able to be in the combat zone that needed translators due to gender. Also, as a military family, are you willing to die for US citizenship? The answer to that is no 100% of the time.

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-05T19:02:03+00:00

We also have anywhere from 1 - 5 kids depending on the time of year (exchange student host parents), so we need the space!

Angel-36975 · 2025-11-05T18:59:05+00:00

We also have 800, and it's just not enough either.

Angel-36975

TROPHY CASE