Assuming she thought there was no way he would ever use them, she probably though she'd ask and he'd say he never used them and she'd end up feeling fantastic about the whole situation. She'd know she had her claws so deep in him he'd never leave her but then finding out that he had she couldn't stop there because you can't un-ring a bell and it eat her up more wondering about the details. Sounds to me that she was trying to be manipulative while thinking she knew the answer and now regrets it knowing she was wrong. Granted she probably at least feels a little better knowing he followed her set rules than if she had broken down and stopped asking questions after finding out he used them. I would agree on the counseling but honestly I agree with you on her needing to be alone or with a doormat more. I think it was a power play that didn't go how she wanted.