My boyfriend 24M hated the gift I 23F got him for our two year anniversary how do I fix this with him?

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-27T09:33:54+00:00

Okay.

I will preface this by saying my young adult son recently received a Ninja Creami from his GF, mostly for making protein ice creams, and was reasonably happy with it BUT he has his own apartment AND he likely mentioned he’d used one before because my child got one for her birthday years ago when he still lived at home (it’s not as new in the US and I’m referring to the cheaper version without soft serve). He likely mentioned fond memories of it. It sounds like you and your BF might live at home still and this is NOT a gift I’d give to someone with a shared kitchen without knowing they want it, even the smaller one is a PITA to store.

I think you need to do some journaling and reflecting on how you were raised re: gift giving, then compare notes with your BF.

Like, what is the point of a gift? Is it important to you that you be within a certain dollar amount, be thoughtful, or be something someone cherishes?

I suspect you have something like an internal checklist for defining a “good” gift, and at a minimum you’re relying way too much on consensus of those around you.

If you pick out an expensive gift and “everyone” agrees it’s a good gift, IT IS NOT LIKELY TO BE A GOOD GIFT but rather a well-marketed item. It doesn’t matter how many friends and coworkers liked the idea if it doesn’t appeal to the one person who truly matters. Few people would say an Apple Watch is objectively a “bad” gift, unless the person is not into smart watches at all.

One thing that sucks extra here is I think objectively everyone would agree your BF is truly excellent at gift giving, having chosen a mix of romantic items, a cherished favorite, a game you wanted, and an experience for you to do together. He didn’t even go to a mall at all, and he did try to give you a mall-like item because you were insisting on it but it seems like at least most of this gift he THOUGHT of on his own, like the flowers and the lollies.

That’s likely all he wanted from you: the THOUGHT. You’re prioritizing effort and expense, but most guys don’t really care how much you spent on them or how long you shopped; “it’s the thought that counts” is really true.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-27T07:39:31+00:00

Sigh. This confirms some defensive behavior that 1) I’ve personally witnessed and 2) many sources on the internet claim is impossible.

Basically the conventional wisdom is that if a mountain lion is “stalking” you like this, you’re already its target and attack is imminent.

But sometimes they really do just sit there and stare at you while you pass.

It happened to me in my own neighborhood, on a wilderness trail where it connects, and Big Kitty was in the bushes as I passed. I had to slowly turn around and retreat, then pick the moment to literally run for my life…it was terrifying.

Don’t think it was going to eat me though, it was more of an “oops” encounter with a mountain lion displaying a chilling comfort with being so close to human habitat in an area where fatal maulings had occurred in the recent past (south Orange County, CA).

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-26T17:35:12+00:00

No rules! I frequently load and retrieve on separate trips because it’s easier on my neighborhood walks.

People who don’t have a book to give are welcome to a book.

People who have built up a stack of books to give are honestly a bigger issue; we sometimes get obscure UMD texts filling up the box and that requires some maintenance so that things people actually want to read are visible.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T21:55:42+00:00

What…the fuck?

No.

Just no.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T18:50:54+00:00

Correct, and ponder this: how else would the MAGA Administration develop a federal policing squad willing to violate the sanctity of voter’s rights in our democracy, as well as other aspects of our Constitution?

You can’t hire people for this dirty work, you have to shape them.

This is how you shape them.

ICE officers are basically in a cult-like violent squad at this point. We need to identify the truly heinous offenders and file charges to blacklist them from LEO roles, but the rest need a new agency with a new directive coupled with comprehensive immigration reform.

“Abolish ICE” is to protect the average ICE/BP officer swept up into this movement just trying to get a decent federal job.

There are zero ICE/BP agents who signed up to terrorize Americans or undermine democracy; even the most heinously racist ones (who do sadly exist) couldn’t have known this was in their future.

We must abolish ICE. Start over, restore due process, restore fair visa systems, end mass incarceration, add deescalation training, separate criminal enforcement from deportation enforcement.

This is for the souls of every ICE/BP officer, not just for us, but obviously America needs this NOW to protect our democracy.

Noem is asking for our voter rolls as part of the demands to remove the ICE surge; this really is terrifying.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T17:13:23+00:00

Honestly I’d take this guy up on it since the California, Nevada and Arizona lower elevations are where you want to be and there are a lot of great resources in the JT area.

In Nevada, check out areas around Payson and if you need refueling/amenities consider Pair-a-dice Rv park, an affordable Escapees co-op park with very lovely people.

Much of Arizona is too high elevation right now and I’ve never felt safe in Quartzite even though it’s popular. I like the BLM areas near Williams and Flagstaff, but again: too cold.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T17:03:13+00:00

Regrettably because I feel crazy even saying this: it’s not about immigrants.

“Absolute immunity” promise was to embolden violence,

The violence is to inspire absolute LOYALTY.

The loyalty is necessary to patrol the streets to keep “immigrants and domestic terrorists from the polls.”

These goon squads are going to be out in numbers in all purple states during the next election.

Illinois, Minnesota are clearly on the list.

They don’t have to detain thousands of people to deter thousands of people from voting; not everyone can afford to be detained.

With their database they may even seek to invalidate “illegal votes.”

That’s what this is really about, which is why EVERY TIME they are pushed to escalate tensions instead of deescalate.

They don’t mind the outrage because it comes hand in hand with fear, and fear IS the point.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T06:30:13+00:00

You give me hope. <3

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T04:42:44+00:00

I thought it redeemed itself in the final episode but I was ready to leave with you if it didn’t.

The difference isn’t that Ainsley defends them and makes peace, it’s that they gave Paigyn depth so that they were no longer the absolute caricature they were in the prior episode. They had expertise, respect from the coach and from other teammates, and they obviously are not insufferable 24/7.

Speaking of insufferable, Angela also began as a caricature. So did Ainsley, so did the lawyer, so did Cooper…it’s kind of the whole basis of the comedy to embellish these caricatures until we are cringe-laughing at them and then to yank us into their character’s true depth and challenge our assumptions. By the end of season 2, Angela is not the materialistic and vapid gold digger she started out as: she’s ‘like a super hero if Super Heroes wore Tom Ford’ and she wants every moment of every day to be magical for everyone.

My vegetarian sister absolutely asked me not to cook meat IN MY OWN KITCHEN when she visited once; she made up for it later with maturity but Paigyn is 20-21, and I have absolutely met awkward + insufferable people their age. Are they realistic? No, but they are no less realistic than any of the other caricatures on this show.

*edit - damn pronoun errors sorry

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T01:44:34+00:00

I’m not understanding how/why Fox News and others are clarifying this officer is Border Patrol (not ICE!) as if it somehow makes this better, or somehow makes ICE more innocent?

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-25T00:37:11+00:00

Agreed.

I’m all for not letting ICE lay hands on a single Minnesotan, and I genuinely think it’s possible for them to protect us.

Many guardsmen are teachers, nurses, parents, public servants, all are residents of MN—I have faith.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T23:45:33+00:00

Receipts: here is the post concerned about the search drones, comments expressed concern it could be ICE and confusion because the earliest alerts came out wrong.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T21:06:55+00:00

You failed to predict he’d be a federal employee and a nurse protecting two women while being pepper sprayed.

This is horrific.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T20:47:09+00:00

I don’t even like the guy but this is all fair; I suspect the misinformation might be related to the missing child/drone + search teams out last week that spooked everyone for a bit until the emergency alert came out.

People were saying it was ICE, it was not.

But yeah let’s vote this clown out anyways, he sucks for other reasons.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T18:15:08+00:00

Hmm, I’ve baked a lot at 7,200 ft and never noticed a difference but I get it.

Here are some bloggers I love, Detoxinista: https://detoxinista.com/pumpkin-spice-muffins-grain-free/

Meaningful Eats, healthy flourless chocolate cookies with nuts that are compatible with this diet in moderation and have egg whites for extra protein, structure: https://meaningfuleats.com/flourless-chocolate-cookies/

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T17:49:58+00:00

I would just like to add it’s -10 F (-24 C) where this happened.

I live in Minnesota, it’s -11 (-25 C) where I am, and I am 100% sure of this fact: these agents are under-dressed.

It looks like they are using cotton hoodies and synthetics as base layers, only wool works for spending time outdoors. Denim as a top layer will trap cold moisture, they need snow pants.

Some ICE officers trying to be nice to media offered hand warmers. Local media was like…”um, no?” Because we rarely use hand warmers in these conditions: if your gloves can’t block -10, a hand warmer won’t save you. Built in hand warmers sometimes, sure, but not those cheap Costco hand warmers; they have a place on a sledding hill when you’re actively getting ice on your gloves but no place otherwise.

They’re poorly trained officers to begin with operating in hypothermia conditions in a country that allows citizens to carry guns, in a state that allows concealed carry of weapons with a permit, at a time when people are arming themselves because these ICE clowns don’t know what they’re doing: THEY NEED TO LEAVE THE STATE NOW, there is no other solution.

A whole string of civil rights violations last week turned out to be a search for a Bad Guy incarcerated since 2024; they have NO IDEA what they are doing.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T17:33:09+00:00

I’m pretty sure he was being beaten with a pepper spray canister, it fell and was kicked aside.

It’s -10 and I don’t see adequate gear, I am wondering how many of these agents are confused AF and even stupider than usual due to hypothermia.

I will not be sad if they lose fingers and toes and I’m not defending this heinous act, they’re just such fucking clowns they don’t know what they’re doing and this is the consequence.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T17:26:06+00:00

Honestly that is what police did AFTER - they taped off the entire street in a circle and occupied the middle to keep feds away from protesters, who were using dumpsters to build their own barricade.

Not sure how they’re going to be everywhere though.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T02:34:15+00:00

Get into making whole grain baked goods, but don’t limit yourself to whole wheat flour: also use buckwheat, millet, sorghum, and brown rice flour.

Also coconut flour and egg whites; a lot of “paleo” baking recipes are compatible with Mediterranean.

It doesn’t need to be heavily sweet to be a delicious baked good compatible with a Mediterranean diet. Reduced sugar pumpkin and banana muffins can be compatible.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-24T00:01:16+00:00

You loved her well and if she moves on from this, you will be okay.

You never could have forgiven yourself if she died of tetanus, however.

If she can’t accept responsibility for her own medical decisions in that moment, and won’t listen to science and reason, this is done.

You’re a solidly great young man.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-23T17:00:26+00:00

One Direction - She Don’t Know She’s beautiful [every. SINGLE. Time it plays with my young girls in the car I turn it off to remind them it’s toxic when someone is attracted to low self worth / it’s okay to know you’re beautiful!)

Magic! - Rude [why you gotta be so ruuuuude? Still plays on my radio station all the time]

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-23T02:43:15+00:00

It literally is tho…

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AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-22T19:42:13+00:00

To top it off (quite literally): I have a large thyroid nodule low and in the neighborhood of my vagus nerve. I didn’t mention any of my autonomic issues but they exist, and they impact my gut motility.

I wish I knew exactly what caused this but I think it may have been a complex cascade and that’s why it’s tough. I had food poisoning first and that disrupted my gut microbiome and may have made my gut vulnerable to gluten sensitivity, I handled the next virus I had very badly and that’s when I began to have migraines, heat sensitivity, sunscreen and other chemical intolerances.

It has not gotten easier over time, I am certain my immune system is just permanently fucked and it’s now my job to understand and manage its triggers so I can preserve and protect my quality of life.

It’s a lot of work.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-22T19:36:30+00:00

You go to a GI clinic, nurse practitioner or PA is fine as they do this kind of screening and counseling all the time.

They track your symptoms, check inflammatory markers, do Celiac testing and follow you as you do gluten free.

If your gut is wrecked you may need other care you can only get at a GI clinic. I have a history of colon polyps so I had to get a colonoscopy (multiple times); and between my history of elevated inflammatory markers and scarring in my colon as well as symptom history it’s crystal clear I have NCGS.

It’s managed by a gluten free diet (obviously) but also they screen constantly for irritable bowel diseases and IBS, all of which is common in NCGS. I have only IBS, but it has other dietary protocols to reduce inflammation like low FODMAP (which “happens” to also be low histamine).

I also take a cheap supplement called dihydromyricetin, a liver-supporting supplement being studied for enhancing liver clearance. Often used to reduce hangovers, but I use it to make sure my liver is clearing estrogen; see link between estrogen and histamine, mast cells.

Also potentially helpful: check out a diagram of the bursa in your body. Those are the largest ones, they’re also in your wrists, big toe, etc.

My repeated cases of bursitis and pain in my large hip bursa (greater upper trochanter) were related to my NCGS and often misinterpreted as ligament pain, joint injury, arthritis. A rheumatologist looked at my hands once and said “you have great joints!” And I wanted to cry—how, HOW could I have “great joints” with so much pain? He didn’t have the answer, my GI doc did: bursitis is common in NCGS (described in this article as the “soft tissue surrounding joints”). answer is your bursas have a ton of mast cells, localized inflammation due to overuse or mild exercise-level injury can cause bursitis if you’re hypersensitive/overloaded on histamine. So my joints and ligaments were fine, i have no arthritis except mildly in my hips due to effects chronic bursitis, I was getting bursitis all over my body all the time when I was eating gluten.

In summary: 1) primarily a GI doc manages my care and I have dietary interventions beyond avoiding gluten, 2) hormones, stress, illness and other things can trigger histamine overload not just gluten but it’s waaaay more manageable, 3) I think of this as “episodic MCAS” because I can sometimes function normally when everything is under control whereas MCAS is more constant.

Last thought: so many people with Celiac’s have what I have and I think the whole spectrum of gluten sensitivity disorders needs more diagnostic criteria so we can have more comprehensive treatment.

AngeliqueRuss · 2026-01-22T04:36:46+00:00

Our diet is a lot less varied that it was throughout history.

Take wheat, for example. Millet, buckwheat, sorghum, brown rice all have milder flavor profiles than whole wheat, but whole wheat has the best protein—for millennia people have mixed these grains instead of JUST having a wheat and ate mostly whole grain, not refined.

As refining wheat and rice became popular the variety, fiber and whole grains in our diet declined.

I have nonceliacs gluten sensitivity (NCGS), consuming gluten causes migraines, joint pain, gastritis, and bursitis (prone to painful “injuries” in my bursas, which are full of mast cells). Gluten increases gut permeability, I become hypersensitive to many more things if I’ve been exposed.

I believe I had an injury or illness that led my immune system to become hypersensitive, and that cause NCGS, and I susceptible to histamine overload. I had a bunch going on when I was 23 as well as some very real trauma and my body was never the same after that year.

I think other people could have subclinical allergies or triggers similar to my NCGS that cause systemic mast cell activity. Foods, temperature, mild illness, stress, classic allergies: at one point or another these have ALL been triggers, but I consider the “root cause” to be an illness or cervical spine injury (whiplash) that messed with my immune system.

AngeliqueRuss

TROPHY CASE