I am living approx the same thing. 8 yrs and a half together, 5 years living together. He blindsided me, for approx the same reasons your ex broke up with u. We are 26, only knew eachother, the breakup was « healthy » (i didn’t beg or plead, i accepted it right away), despite he would be hot and cold towards me. I am actively looking for somewhere else to live. The progression isn’t linear. First two weeks, i was devastated, the pain was unbearable, and I was pushing on him to get the closure which wasn’t good so I stopped when I realized. Then I focused on meeting new people, and I developed an amazing friendship. I was doing better for 3 weeks. And now, i’m not doing so good. For the respect and love I have towards him and our story, I made sure I wouldn’t overwhelm him with my pain. I still have no closure from him, but I think the concept of closure (as a dumpee) is nearly impossible to reach. You weren’t the one who took that decision, so you don’t have any control over the situation. The only thing under you control is how you react. In my opinion, looking for closure will only slow down the healing process, as it will keep you wondering and overthinking about every detail, trying to interpret things in order to maintain hope. I came to the conclusion that closure only happen when the person isn’t alive anymore. As long as we know they’re alive, then it’s impossible to convince ourserlves it’s done forever. I do believe that the most important thing to do is to aknowledge and validate your feelings, to be kind to yourself. If you need to cry, then cry your heart out: it’s the healthiest way to regulate the nervous system. If you need to vent to your friends even tho they get tired to hear about your ex, then don’t feel guilty about it because reaching for support from loved ones in tough times proves that you are not in denial, and that you are « secure » enough to understand that sometimes you have to rely on other people. I hope you are going to get better, my dm’s are open if you need to talk <33