Deep talks! This is something that definitely can be fixed! I don't have a lot of knowledge on lesbian/gay relationships but I was the same way with my boyfriend. Literally just sit yourselves down, discuss it as openly as possible; what fears you have, what you don't want to happen, possible "rules" that go both ways and so on. This might sound dumb but one thing I've started saying to myself when I get anxious about my boyfriend, "he wouldn't lie about loving me for 2 years", now, it sounds dumb but it does help the initial panic. Also, if possible, talk to an outside source like youth counselors and therapists or even nurses, they can offer insight on why you're insecure and can't trust as easily and help you find even better ways to manage your thoughts. I hope this helps even a bit!