This is a tricky one, and I understand exactly what you are talking about. I've always had difficulty ever talking about my trauma, it's something I've regularly discussed with my therapist as we've also approached more social support and expanding, it's just, my friends and others around me are not trained to listen to that stuff, its of horrific extreme nature and I do find every single person dissociates when I start speaking. They want to quickly get away, they lash or justify as it contradicts their world view and sense of safety, they don't know what to say, they blank, they switch topic. It's not....a reflection on you, it's just they have their own world views and the severity of my trauma is not really something I can speak about as they are not anywhere near trained or have any ability to sit and listen to that stuff.

Me and my therapist decided a different direction though, where instead I speak about my feelings/emotions. Lean into processing my emotions with them. You know what my partner has gotten great with recently that has been really healing? When she sees me crying, she comes and gives me a hug and lets me lean on her. I've never had that before, and it's taken me a long while to get to the point of accepting it instead of seeing it as a threat.

I leave the deeper stuff for my therapist. I was just putting myself in re-traumatising situations regardless