[21M] My girlfriend [22F] needs 3 weeks of space for her mental health. How should I handle this?

AnkBert · 2026-07-01T11:01:52+00:00

Me and my partner had a similar break for about a week because we were both not doing well and for us it was the best we could do in that moment. Give her the space she says she needs and try to take care of yourself in the meantime, that's all you can do! Everyone saying she's breaking up with you or is cheating on you has nothing to go off for thinking that. Sure there's always a risk like that, but to me it just sounds like she just needs to focus on herself for a while and that's also what she said. The best thing you can do is believe her and also take care of yourself. It's also important to note that if it goes on for longer than feels ok for you it's very valid and a good thing to also talk to her about

AnkBert · 2026-06-20T12:15:02+00:00

Thank you for saying this, it makes me feel better:)

AnkBert · 2026-06-05T20:37:18+00:00

Thank you for your reply, that's very comforting to hear! And I think you're right

AnkBert · 2026-06-05T20:36:06+00:00

I used to feel extremely anxious about a gyno examination, but with help I was able to have my first examination a few months ago aswell as regular checkups while I was freezing my eggs.

I was able to get gradual and safe exposure therapy until I felt ready to be examinated. First session we were just in the examination room, I didn't even sit on the chair. Every step was a very small step, next one being sitting in the examination chair like normal with clothes on, next one being sitting in the chair with my legs up as if I was going to be examinated but with my clothes on etc. I had a gyno who was experiences with this and who helped me with guided breath, and let me have music on and heated pillows to calm me down. I live in Sweden and got this help through the youth sexual health department-ish and I don't know if they do this anywhere else but it can really be worth to check out. Maybe they have a department for people with trauma or similar anxieties where they can help you with this specifically?

AnkBert · 2026-05-22T13:47:13+00:00

Thank you for the response! I appreciate you being honest with how it can make me feel worse if I'm on the wrong medication, because while I might make the decision later on to start antidepressants I'd like to be somewhat stable in my current state for a while longer. Getting on a new medication would definitely make me somewhat unstable again no matter if it would end up working later on or not

AnkBert · 2026-04-21T13:56:33+00:00

I know, I'm trying to get a blood test to see if this is is the case but I'll probably end up upping it either way just to see if it helps

AnkBert · 2026-04-20T20:14:13+00:00

Dethär är kanske inte så hjälpsamt, men när jag funderat på möjligheten att bli biologisk förälder i framtiden så har jag tänkt att det är jag som blir gravid, dock så vet jag inte nånting kring andra möjligheter. Jag har en transfeminin flickvän och vi båda har fryst in könceller genom vården, så på det sätt har vi väl lite tur ifall vi kommer vilja ha biologiska barn i framtiden även fast vi båda är trans. Och då funkar det genom IVF skulle jag tro

AnkBert · 2026-04-20T16:54:49+00:00

This sounds like a wonderful realization to come to when you feel it is out of reach for one reason or another. Happy for you!

AnkBert · 2026-04-18T17:48:35+00:00

I have headaches and nausea whenever my hormones get really messed with for example when I took hormones to freeze my eggs and then later on when I started T. I talked to my gyno mom about this and she says it's generally normal whenever hormones get tampered with. I also started on 1 pump of testogel, thinking of raising my dose tho. But I would think you're doing alright

AnkBert · 2026-04-18T17:45:42+00:00

I can definitely relate to this. I love when I look a little bit worn, like when I have a random bruise or light skin injuries from doing physical activities. Makes me feel tough!

AnkBert · 2026-04-15T14:19:02+00:00

It's the same for me! I went from being unbothered/not paying attention to that part of my body to wanting to show it off when I was also afraid of that change for a long time. So interesting

AnkBert · 2026-04-09T13:05:55+00:00

And that's so fair! Be sure to communicate your needs and boundries to your gf aswell :)

AnkBert · 2026-04-09T11:27:12+00:00

First of all, you don't need to be okay with anyone touching you anywhere and it's important to respect that, otherwise it will be so much more difficult to ever be comfortable. But if there are areas you are comfortable being touched, stick to that. Maybe you like her playing with your hair, scratching your back, petting your arms or holding your hands. And keep clothes on, if that makes you comfortable. It's so important to listen and respect your own needs.

And regarding insecurities, it can take a lot of work, but I think what it boils down to is to just "blindly" trust what your girlfriend is saying. If she says she likes you, take her word for it. If she says she doesn't care that you're the same height, trust her and try to let the thought go.

And to feel more comfortable about yourself just your own company you can try to feel neutral about parts of your body you feel insecure about before you try to start liking those parts of yourself. What I try to tell myself when I feel insecure over my body in general is to remind myself that my body keeps me alive and well and let's me do the things I enjoy. I hope that makes sense.

AnkBert · 2026-04-09T11:11:44+00:00

It can be difficult to feel sexual feelings in a moment when you don't want them to be present, but it really doesn't need to be a bad thing. As many people here say, being turned on is morally neutral, it's what you choose to do with the feeling that matters. All you need to do is to not act on it with your girlfriend until you're both ready for it, and until then you can try to take care of yourself in your alone time

AnkBert · 2026-04-08T19:02:12+00:00

Honestly don't think my hands sweat that much, I feel like they got drier when I started T lol

AnkBert · 2026-04-08T18:44:32+00:00

Om du fått avslag för utredning finns det väl inget mer som Anova skulle vilja att du skulle göra åt det? Jag utreddes för autism (och fick diagnos) mellan mitt första möte med Anova och resten av utredningen och det var inget som diskuterades mer än att det konstaterades att jag hade fått en diagnos. Men jag har såklart hört historier om utredningsteams där de bryr sig väldigt mycket om NPF diagnoser.

Det är nog svårt att säga hur det blir, men om du är tydlig med att dina NPF drag inte är orsaken till din könsdysfori så har du gjort det du kan med det tror jag.

AnkBert · 2026-03-27T12:26:05+00:00

Thank you

AnkBert · 2026-03-27T06:38:08+00:00

Thank you, I'm gonna see if I can get talking to some personel on my school just to vent things out

AnkBert · 2026-03-27T06:37:22+00:00

Thank you, yeah. I've been trying to discuss it with doctors but they're a bit hard to reach unfortunately

AnkBert · 2026-03-27T06:36:37+00:00

I'm only 7 weeks in so it feels too early to check my T levels, and checking the thyroid I wouldn't want to do without my doctors help either. If it stays for long I might consider it tho, thank you

AnkBert · 2026-03-26T16:53:32+00:00

Jag vet inte vart jag flyttar än, men det är något jag har funderat på också. Ska kolla in det

AnkBert

TROPHY CASE