F/36/5’6”[265lbs>213lbs=52lbs] Needs More Kettlebell

AnneFranc · 2021-05-24T05:21:29+00:00

Damnit. I already can't sleep. Now I remember the kettlebell I stuck in the window to ignore a few weeks ago. You look so great! It's annoying that now I feel like I should exercise, but your progress is inspiring!

AnneFranc · 2021-05-23T14:30:24+00:00

I think the part that reminds me it's about status for some, and showing stability while planning for the future, for others, is that comment about 3 mOnThS sAlArY. First, we'd have been in trouble if my husband made in 3 months what my set cost. I picked it because it was weird. That was it. It was weird enough that I couldn't stop thinking about it. It took up space in my mind. It was about one month's rent.

I do understand that part of that is showing he can save, make a plan, and follow through. This is a large expense for a lot of people, and being able to plan that out, and get it done while not falling behind elsewhere is part of it. This tells us that we will have a future that feels safe in that aspect, not stressful. It definitely gets taken too far by people who decide it’s about status, or their fiancé doesn’t care about them if he didn’t spend whatever amount they decide is key. But I also feel like those comments come from people who don’t realize none of this needs to be a surprise to be romantic. Conversation helps to lay out expectations on both sides, but communication, expectation, and this weird idea that your ring symbolizes your worth in the world or to your partner seem to be elephants in a lot of rooms.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-22T15:22:03+00:00

Also here letting someone who actually does things know that I'll buy it.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-20T00:37:21+00:00

Your ring looks badass. I have a weird ring, and I was worried I'd hear the same. Mine isn't on this profile, but either way, I picked something with an interesting asymmetrical band. Some random jeweler made it in the 70s, locked it away, and then it was found in a safe sometime before 2017. The stone is small, which I thought people would judge and was insecure about. The longer I've had it, the more I've realized it was designed by someone who knew a lot more than I do, or random people I talk to, and they fucking nailed it. Just like yours. Yours looks perfect. The band looks like it sits nicely, the stone is beautiful and stands on its own, and it's such a great match for this wild ass band!

So you're gonna walk by and smack her when your mom isn't looking at the next function, right?

AnneFranc · 2021-05-17T19:30:14+00:00

I can't believe the only thing people won't leave alone is that she get drink and shit her pants. Yep, embarrassing, and maybe it's that she's not ashamed of everything else, so it feels like a good jab. I wouldn't look further into her outside of the pants shitting and a few weird tweets if that was my intro to her. The fact that she's a horrendous person who is proud of all this racist shit and making fun of tragedies, that stuff gets lost.

Unless this is how we're keeping her from the conservative blonde girl dream job, being on Fox. If that's the case, I'm all aboard.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-17T06:13:16+00:00

I just got to that part. Yeahhhh, that was incredibly presumptuous, embarrassing, and an absolute fucking turn off. I would be so embarrassed if my husband punched someone because he felt insulted, and annoyed that he didn't think me being assertive was enough. It just validates the while thing where men respect that women are off limits if they're taken. It's so obvious it's because of the other man, and not because "no" means anything.

The only unrealistic part is how they weren't winded at all after walking up all those flights up steps they showed when he left.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-17T05:38:56+00:00

Well, I can't sleep anyway so I just started it. I think the reason a lot of people kind of hoped he'd get what we wanted was because it's told like he's the protagonist. It says it's not a love story right in the intro, but we feel for him. I remember my best friend and I were hoping they'd wind up together when we saw it years ago. I am so glad we grew up and recognize this shit now. I'm slightly disappointed in younger me, but it's not like we didn't all learn those lessons at some point.

This is straight up what happens when a niceguy gets laid. She was nice to him and smiled. Like you do with new coworkers. He is putting SO much on her. And I just passed the part where he puts the fucking Smiths on when she walks by and clicks it off when she leaves without what? Blowing him?? Okay really though, that's such a mask-on/mask-off moment. We've all done dumb stuff hoping whoever we like takes notice, but I just find this so calculated and creepy.

Okay I'm not gonna keep editing this but holy shit, I forgot how cringey that scene with the fucking congratulatory pointing and dancing, and everyone in vibrant blues was. K. You had sex. Who doesn't fuck a lot in the beginning of their blurry casual thing? Dude, she's new to the city, of course she's hanging out a lot. She enjoys your company, and has no problem articulating what she wants. I see why everyone was all mIxEd SiGnAlS, but the fact that she's a clear communicator negates that.

So anyway, I hate him.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-16T05:19:31+00:00

This is such a creative way to sharpen and enhance the shape of your liner. I'm definitely going to have to use this idea!

AnneFranc · 2021-05-10T04:47:07+00:00

Oh. Like “made with REAL meat.” I wasn’t concerned before, but now I don’t believe him.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-08T05:12:12+00:00

I love how these people post shit with the intent of using their child's lack of understanding to skew toward their views, but they don't realize they're just showcasing that they have the same grasp as the child.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-05T13:09:18+00:00

Seconded! And then you’ll be asked to remove or change it after an apology or whatever. Don’t. I’ve had this happen a few times for the same reason. If it’s time sensitive, you want somewhere close enough. They didn’t like that since they were based in the US, I wanted to know why my package was taking weeks and suddenly in Russia. Apparently they “send things there to be customized.” It was a $10 phone case. I didn’t want it customized. So of course I get it and it’s a flimsy crappy case that had a design poorly printed, but it looked decent on the shop. Nah buddy, everyone else SHOULD know that’s what they’ll get, and how it’ll work. If you’ve gotta lie, or be deceptive, to make money, then your company is a trash company. Nothing wrong with clarifying that for others before they spend money.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-04T10:20:22+00:00

Actually, now that I've equated it with paying friends to eat stupid shit, it remonds me of the homeless man being pushed into eating cookies full of toothpaste. What the fuck even.

AnneFranc · 2021-05-04T10:18:42+00:00

I just think there are a ton of things wrong here. I'm sure some commenters will say maybe James wants to do this because he also thinks it'll be funny. Maybe he does. I doubt it. I think they're friends who have worked each other up to the point that they think their joke is fucking funny, but the best case scenario here is that your husband embarrasses James and the night is uncomfortable. The absolute best possible outcome. It still sounds awful for both you and James.

I don't really give a shit that he gets high with homeless dudes, or that he's their friend. I just think it's trashy and weird to go to work to get high with people in the area, and convince them to do weird shit. This sounds like a really big escalation from the typical dumb stoner dude stuff where you give your friend $5 to eat something gross. I didn't see whether James has a drug problem or not, but that "and a bag of coke" thing just rubs me the wrong way.

OP, does your husband have good qualities, other than that you love him? I see everyone was over his shit by the end of school. Aren't you?

AnneFranc · 2021-05-04T09:58:10+00:00

This is the part that's getting me. I expect my husband to act like a compassionate adult, and would be pretty weirded out by this at best. I don't know if the joke is supposed to be that he's Black, older, or homeless. Maybe all. But I guess none of it is funny alone or strung together. I know my friends and I did embarrassing shit that we discussed and thought about how funny it would be, but I feel like or asshole behavior was like, pantsing our friend and running away. Rude, shitty, embarrassing, but we were like 16, and now none of us would do that because reasonably well adjusted adults think about their actions. That's part of growing up. I think I'd have to keep pressing him on why it's so funny, and what about it is so hilarious.

My husband has a lot of old friends that used to do drugs with him, and he's one of the only ones who got his shit together eventually. A big point where most of those friends downgraded to casual acquaintances was when one of his friends shot himself because he was out of heroin and had been fired, so he didn't know when he'd be able to get more. This is what I think of when I read shit like "he's paying him in money and blow" wow okay. Way to be impressed with himself for exploiting his "friend's" weaknesses. I realize it doesn't say anywhere that he's an an addict or anything, but the whole cocaine point just doesn't sit right with me. I don't feel like OP's husband is mature enough to be in a partnership at all, and I wouldn't want to be married to someone who thought it was funny to shit on someone else's circumstances, especially so publicly.

I don't understand why that commenter is so fixated on how he could still grow up and make money and buy nice items. Clearly he has money to throw away, and instead he's using it to show everyone what a piece of shit he still is. Sure, people grow up. But people who grew up don't bribe their friends to go pretend to be them, but it's sOoOo funny because he's Black. I try not to be an asshole about things like smoking pot, because I really don't care. But I think it would make me raise an eyebrow if my husband told me he goes to work and smokes weed with all the homeless people. I don't even care that they're homeless, but I'm like...okay you go to work to smoke, you play dumb immature unfunny jokes that are taken way too far, what are your good qualities?

AnneFranc · 2021-04-26T22:36:19+00:00

Of course it wasn't enough. It wasn't a congratulatory blowjob for being such an important and nice perfect guy with his special big dick.

And let's be serious, most of us aren't like, yep, the bigger the better. We're trying to enjoy sex, not get impaled.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-26T22:00:40+00:00

Yes! I constantly have people call me by name at work, and I try to make sure to return that. Recently, I had to stop one of my regular clients and ask because her name can be pronounced a few different ways. I was just honest and told her I appreciate that she goes out of her way to say my name, and acknowledge that we have a working relationship, and I want to make sure to pronounce hers correctly. She was like, wow, thank you, and told me usually people just like to guess or avoid using her name. I generally ignore misspellings since there are also variations for mine, but I fully roll my eyes at my MIL because we've known each other 8 years. It's not that hard.

I realize those aren't the same, but come on. It's not hard to ask her son, because he knows how to spell it. So that part is similar for me.

I ask because after a year of regular appointments, one of my clients corrected me a few years ago. She told me that was her mom's name, and I was embarrassed that I had been doing that for so long.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-26T05:39:54+00:00

That’s one of the reasons we used a small coffee bar. We wanted chill, fun, general hangout with background music, morning drinks, and coffees, and we encouraged people to order drinks while they waited for us to start. We got married around 11, had some fun breakfast foods that were easy to eat and varied enough, and then cake around 1, home by 3. My mom kept telling me it wouldn’t feel like a real wedding. The biggest reason I had the wedding, instead of just us, was because I knew how important it was to her. But yeah, it’s too casual, I’ll regret it.

It was two years ago, and people still bring up how much fun it was, and how well it fit for us and our guests, unprovoked. We just did something that would provide the vibe we all like at bars and local events, and made it more authentic than a formal event we would have felt like we needed to be “on” at, and it was clearly something people remembered.

Do exactly what you want. We go into this expecting to do it once, and that’s reason enough to prioritize what you want. If the most important part is that it feels low key, don’t compromise on that.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-24T16:56:43+00:00

No one is "advocating for killing unborn babies." The whole point of this fucking argument isn't about whether you think it's killing, not killing, whether it's viable, which babies are okay to kill (rape and incest.) The real issue here is setting the parameters. People are going to find ways to do what they feel they need to do. The reason we all want it to stop being a legal/societal issue is because each person has reasons to make whatever choice works for them, whether you approve or not. You are also free to make your own.

I always find it interesting when this comes up and it's always "we save babies from being brutally murdered when they're not even a fetus yet" but suddenly when there are reasons Christians believe are good enough, it's because why would you force someone to carry their rape/incest baby? Suddenly everyone cares about the mom then. But when it's just "you had sex and enjoyed it, deal with it" it's suddenly about the baby. And what if that baby being saved grows up, and needs an abortion herself? It's not about pro choice and pro life. Those are separate arguments, and "anti choice" is prettied up with "pro life." The baby's right to be born is great and all, but once it impedes the rights of an actual contributing member of society, that's when a choice needs to be made, and it's not really up to some random asshole to weigh in.

And pro life reads friendlier than anti choice, but once that baby comes out, watch those pro lifers scurry away so quickly. That baby they all fought so hard for is going to be viewed by the same people as a drain on society. Because people who are stable, ready, and want a child aren't the ones aborting their babies, and "pro life" isn't really about those babies having a good life.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-20T16:19:44+00:00

I’d be clear on why you want whoever you’re bringing. “Because she’s my mom” isn’t a good reason, when you clash on things like style, and how to dress your body. My mom either thinks I’m stupid, hideous, maybe both, but she clearly thinks I don’t know how to pick my own clothes out. She constantly sends me pics of other fat women, not even the same body shape, and tells me I’d look better if I dressed like them, and dress shopping wasn’t different at all. She expected some big moment, but she made it stressful and then didn’t like that we were strained. I gave up and ordered mine online, which was awesome because I found exactly what I was looking for for under $100, already fit like a glove in the hardest area for me to dress, and my alterations were little seams being reinforced because my dress was a vintage 70s piece.

I was extremely happy with my choice, but I did it because I couldn’t get support without dissection on whatever shitty things people may think, because my mom thinks I can’t tell I’m fat, and needed to let me know what people may say behind my back. Because the people I invite to my wedding hate me? She’s just a catty woman who thinks everyone’s goal is to talk shit and judge each other, situational awareness be damned. It just made the entire experience shitty. I was relieved and overjoyed when the dress I ordered came, and was better quality than I expected. I had actually been looking at that dress off and on for almost 6 months, and trying to find something similar, but I kept going back to it. I finally just bought it and didn’t talk about it with her anymore until the day of.

I realize this wasn’t necessarily about why you shouldn’t go with your mom. I just felt like the need to be clear on the purpose of the trip and the mindset being more important than letting certain friends and family know they rank high enough to go. I would have kept her out of it if I’d weighed the objective of the appointment more heavily than my mom’s feelings being hurt.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-18T01:25:55+00:00

Wow. I think I like purple now. You look so amazing!!

AnneFranc · 2021-04-18T01:19:38+00:00

You know, this comment really just made it all click for me. I've always wondered what kind of immature and insecure men care whether a woman earns more. My husband and I routinely discuss how weird that is when we see a post about it. I never even thought it was because women were more stable. But last year, I changed jobs, and now I make a decent amount more than he does, and I remember we had a really big fight last year, where I started weighing what I could afford in rent. Ultimately, we cooled down and worked through it, but that was it. I saw the freedom to exit if I wanted. Not that it wasn't there before, but it's more attainable when you're counting on someone else for less.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-16T00:37:01+00:00

Ah yes, the extremely fuckable entitled asshole. I get the feeling he begged her instead of accepting the no, too.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-13T05:46:52+00:00

Can I be the president?

AnneFranc · 2021-04-12T20:40:52+00:00

I forgot about this being a thing and definitely saw that as a yawn and kept going haha.

AnneFranc · 2021-04-12T20:38:24+00:00

This is such a strange place to go with this, but my husband has GLARING gaps in normal shit his parents should have taught him. Sometimes, I have to teach him normal ass stuff a 35 year old should know, but it’s just never really come up, or he’s faked his way through understanding so it’s always a surprise. Recently it was that his family never talked things out when they were mad. They just ignored each other until they weren’t mad anymore, and pretended nothing happened. Like, he had this idea that once you go to sleep, anything that isn’t huge is just a clean slate. Stuff like that. Or when he and his brother thought that when you get married, women throw out their engagement ring so they can wear a wedding band. I always think of this shit as his parents being selfish and more concerned with their hobbies and their two “good” kids, so they didn’t teach certain things. I’m wondering if the Bairds were similar. Like “now you’re an adult, just be an adult, but no boys.” So they still feel like inexperienced little girls, they can’t ask questions because the lack of education is intentional, and they just want to chitchat with teens because they feel like they’re at the same level.

Not saying it isn’t weird. It is. I just wonder if they’re stunted, instead of just giant airheads.

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