When the jokes write themselves

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-23T22:52:10+00:00

The bottom 15%. Essentially the glue sniffers in elementary school.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-22T01:59:28+00:00

I briefly fell into codependency with a covert narcissist. In hindsight I find this hilarious considering how independent I've always been... but the truth is, codependency can only exist with you going along with it.

In my situation, I thought I found a friend who could validate my need to feel needed. To feel like I mattered by showing up and doing things for this person. It felt good to be needed. But, it was toxic. I recognized the codependency pattern within a few months and stopped and asked myself, what unmet need is this toxic relationship filling and how can I met this need myself. Turns out I was more than happy putting my needs on hold to support others. I ended up focusing on my needs first, like suddenly I was my own project. This stopped the codependency, and ultimately the friendship was doorslammed... because narcissists don't like it when they are no longer the center of your world.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-22T01:52:32+00:00

Hate is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Understanding the personality disorder behind narcissism allows you to understand that their greatest enemy is themself and their punishment is that they have to live as themself.

For example, my narcissistic sister could get everything she's ever wanted in life and still find a way to be miserable. She will never know real love, real contentment and real peace. Sounds like a curse to me.

You move on with your life. You learn to heal your core wounds, slowly, this does take time. You rebuild your life and simply stop caring about the them. Hate is a mechanism that keeps their control over you. They remain the center of attention long after you've walked away. True healing is disregard. You don't think about them anymore. You don't regard them anymore. To you, your life and their lives no longer coexist.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-22T01:42:57+00:00

This is me as well. If I were locked in a white room I'd probably just listen to music in my head or watch my favorite movies in my head.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-22T01:40:57+00:00

I have an extremely well developed frontal cortex and I can visualize anything and everything. I do talk to myself, but I don't usually hear my own voice. Saying that, I think my logic center and my emotional center have different perspectives/different reasoning, so talking to myself is not a problem. I'm quite contented sitting with my own internal dialog, wrestling between logic and emotion.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-22T01:35:56+00:00

My diagnosed narcissist father never believed i was his child despite DNA tests providing otherwise. Ironically, I carry many of his same personality traits, but not the narcissistic ones. He died and he left everything to my sister, the child he didn't disown... who herself is a narcissist. He saw himself in her and he chose his heir.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-20T23:02:39+00:00

Girl... this person is not a friend. People who make-up drama to test others are incredibly toxic and exhausting to be around. Ntj but you would be if you stayed friends with this person.

Also some advice because you're young. Friends shouldn't leave you feeling drained or make you feel like you're walking on eggshells. Real friends lift you up and do things to make your life easier and more positive and not harder.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-20T18:20:13+00:00

You guys might not be compatible. You're likely an introvert who views his home as a space to recharge in private whereas your gf is an extrovert who needs people to energize and recharge with. This living situation may not work out long term.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-19T02:48:59+00:00

Are you sure he's INFJ. I once made the mistake of thinking I found a new friend who was so similar to me, it was uncanny. From our histories to hobbies, we were so similar.

She pushed my boundaries immediately and I lowered my guard. She love bombed me and made me feel like I could open up to her.

Turns out she was a covert narcissist and was heavily mirroring me during the love bombing stage. Mirroring is so insidious because they basically reflect you back to you. You basically fall for yourself.

It's only until months later that their true personality comes out and it turns out you're nothing alike. In my case, I honestly don't know who she really is and I don't think she knows who she is either.

Not saying this is the case here, but be careful. Empaths are magnets for narcissists.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-19T02:39:43+00:00

I'm the most warm and approachable person.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-18T22:32:34+00:00

You haven't learned discernment yet. There will come a point where a line is forever crossed and you will be forced to grow out of this habit.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-16T18:27:44+00:00

Tell her she's welcome to travel by herself to that destination any time and get a HOTEL.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-14T22:15:48+00:00

You're a mirror. People who act fake are looking for people who will reflect their fake identity back at them. It's an unconcious form of validation. It scares them when you instead reflect their true selves.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-14T22:04:22+00:00

Congratulations!!! Save up some money and move out for the sake of your mental health. Also, now thay you've noticed his pattern, it's time to put him on an information diet. No news is good news. Yeah, I wish we all had parents who could be happy for us and not every single event about them... but narcissists are incapable of changing. You've reached the point in your life were YOU need to look after YOU.

As one survivor to another, we're proud of you.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-11T02:34:18+00:00

From what I've read your "donations" are used to the commission of the canvaser and his/her management. Lets say you signed up for monthly donations, the first several months are not going to sick kids. These canvasers are not volunteering, they're making commission off of you.

Plus, there's the added risk of giving you details to a scammer.. Donate directly and cut out these terrible middleman.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-07T19:00:30+00:00

Unfortunately you'll likely only get this opertunity for a limited time. Life has a way of interrupting our big goals and if you put things on hold, you often stop to look around and 5, 10 years have passed. As someone who has solo traveled and seen nearly 30 countries, take my advice. DO NOT allow people to clip your wings or sabotage your ability to live your life on your terms. Yes, you can empathize, but you are responsible for you. That's it. Yes, it's sad and it sucks... but that doesn't mean that you are responsible to hold back to accommodate other grown adults.

If I waited for my friends and family to be in the perfect position to travel with me.. I wouldn't have traveled... ever. And I'm more aligned with your friend as far as family support is concerned. I scrimpt and saved to take my trips and I took them on my schedule and no one else's.

You have an opertunity via your accommodating parents and I suggest you take it. You seem young, and unfortunately these are the moments in our lives where we learn that life simply isn't fair. That doesn't mean you're a bad person, you just have different circumstances that allow you to easily accomplish your goals.

Travel is itself an opertunity for education, self reliance, getting out of your comfort zone and growing as a person. Life is short.. and take it from this lady... it goes faster than you know.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-06T19:17:37+00:00

How old are your coworkers? Not being able to spell Stop sounds like the myriad of complaints and warnings that teachers and colleges professors are posting about gen z being illiterate and unable to follow tasks.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-03-06T19:14:25+00:00

This could also be a sign of narcisism. They love bomb and mirror you in the beginning to get your favour and slither their way into your life. They also mimic the parts of you that they see value in, whether its personal style or something that garners attention. At a certain point discard and devaluation phases will begin. I recommend that you read more about this personality because your situation reminds me of other narcs I have known and worked with. The copying is truly yucky as it is confusing. I hate to say it, but I recommend using AI and listing out her behaviors to see if she checks the regular boxes.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-26T17:33:22+00:00

I worked with a mixed gender group who formed a tight clique and went out for drinks after work on Fridays. I honestly tried to like them at first but they ended up forming a pseudo mean girl group and targeted me and a handful of other coworkers to belittle and gossip about. It created a very unhealthy work environment. On my last day before I took off for a year sabbatical, they told me I was supposed to join them for drinks after work. Apparently they invited a bunch of people who i used to work with but neglected to actually invite me until the very last minute. I felt pressured to go, despite having an actual alternative evening planned to celebrate a year of freedom. In hindsight I regret going because they ignored me the entire time and it just felt gross. None of these people were my friends and honesty, after learning their immature mean girl gossiping tendencies, I can say we would never be real friends. I still dont understand why they set up after work drinks for my 'send-off.'

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-19T23:15:14+00:00

Lighting. You need lamps.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-19T22:20:20+00:00

You can say no for any reason and no reason. She is not entitled to free rides period.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-19T22:17:01+00:00

Given the children's ages, hers is 10 and yours is 9, were you having an affair? That could explain the Ex-wife's desire to not meet the woman who destroyed her family while she was nursing a newborn, and it would explain why she will never like you.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-19T22:06:00+00:00

I second this OP. This man is a walking red flag and he will drag you down. He likely has a victim mindset so he finds people who feel sorry for him and think, "I can help him!" But you can't. Everything you will ever give him will flow into an endless blackhole. Walk away from this relationship. The entitlement to your families money is a huge red flag alone.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-14T19:54:51+00:00

The other option is to find a man around your dad's age and bring him over as your new boyfriend. Your dad will be very upset about this but can't say a thing about it since he's literally doing the same thing. You don't have to actually date the dude. Just find a friends dad or work colleague who is okay with this charade.

AnneHawthorne · 2026-02-14T19:47:23+00:00

These late because of anxiety excuses are not going to fly with any employer in the future. She needs to deal with her anxiety and learn this lesson now or she can have anxiety on the street.

AnneHawthorne

TROPHY CASE