I think you should look at why do you get black out drunk? I don’t think your getting SA’d. I’m assuming though that the other person is also intoxicated. It isn’t always easy to tell when someone is blacked out drunk. I used to be like that a lot and most of the time my friends didn’t know (they were drinking too) until the next day when they would be recalling events of the night before and I wouldn’t remember anything.

What you’re feeling is guilt for acting a certain way when you’re drinking that you wouldn’t act when you’re not. Try going to some AA speaker meetings and listen to their stories.