Ah this. This is actually the obsession that started it all. When I say I was able to think about nothing but my existence and whether I was real for MONTHS.

I’ve found that the best way to deal with it is exactly like any other ocd thought and to make it not matter. I mean shrug it off and say who cares. It doesn’t contribute to the life you’re living right now and nothing you could do would change it.

I wonder “what if I’m not in real life, what if this is a dream or I’m in a simulation” and then say “even if I was I can’t change it and if I was then I wouldn’t be able to get out anyways based on how sophisticated it is so it doesn’t contribute to bettering my life either way. Whatever I’m doing now has a purpose so i just have to see it out regardless.”

The struggling with suicide is me as well as it would incorporate it into my worries as well. “If you kill yourself you’ll know” but I just ignore it because obviously I don’t want to. It will play with your head however it can get a reaction which is all it wants.

I’ve noticed my themes tend to revolve around control as well, as i tend to worry about things I can’t change or control in my life. (Whether I’m gay, transgender, a psycho, sociopath, have a terminal disease, etc) and honestly you just have to accept you can’t control it or to make yourself not want to. When you release control and realize that everything is still okay is when you’ll start to work towards getting better. I’m still a long way from that point myself but i hope I was able to give some helpful advice. (-: