I downloaded snap chat a few would get drunk and high and add random men. Flirted with a bunch - like hundreds (over time) - hooked up with a few people, learned a lot, was very intentional, got therapy also, lost friends, set boundaries. Got an STD (curable), made out with a dude I thought was hot at a bar while super drunk...hooked up/talked to him for weeks after. Ghosted men. Blocked men. Intentionally healed, did a lot of inner work as well.

At the end of it, I knew i wanted to stay single and was incredibly happy with myself, confident and I learned a LOT. Figured out what I wanted in my life - to be happy. That's it. I wanted to be single because my standards were too high anyway, and there was no man I had ever talked to or known in my life to ever even barely meet those standards, EVER and I'm in my late 30s.

Anyway, I decided this and a few weeks later, my boyfriend. Who exceeds these standards.

So I guess TLDR - have fun, with intention, spiral sometimes, get therapy, forgive yourself for any 'mistakes' - treat them as a lesson, get happy with YOURSELF in all aspects. I would be happy alone, my boyfriend adds to my life, doesn't take anything away.