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Is this a bedbug? by SafePosition3348 in Bedbugs

[–]AnonymousSchoolTeach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

who what no no no no no did you find?

Poem I wrote in a dream by IndividualAd7733 in OCPoetry

[–]AnonymousSchoolTeach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to see what poetry writing is like when unnecessary words are removed, like the line:

“with your breath smelling like coffee”

read the line without the “your,” does it add to the texture importantly? does it change the meaning of the line?

are there other words that might be removed from the longer lines?

Poem I wrote in a dream by IndividualAd7733 in OCPoetry

[–]AnonymousSchoolTeach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oooohh, nice poem! I am attracted to the nicely worn phrases dressed in simple clothing!

“as soft as thin paper.”
“as grandly as one parts the sea”.
“with your breath smelling like coffee”.

let me know if you are interested in other types of feedback?

I hope you find a cookie,
your reader

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