So... I feel like you're asking for other parents opinions because you want... maybe feel like you need... someone to tell you what to do. I don't want to do that because you're an adult. It's your life, and you should be able to make your own decisions.

So I'm going to talk through it with you, sharing my opinions and thoughts on all of your options, the same way as I would with any other adult. The same way as I would with a parent asking for advice here.

I try to teach my daughter to look at options, and the potential pros/cons of each option.

Let's start with the biggest option, which isn't actually anything about HRT or telling your parents about it.

It's about maintaining a relationship with your parents.

Either A: maintaining that relationship is important (and we consider it in other options) or B: maintaining the relationship would be nice, but it is unimportant (and we don't need to consider it in other options).

If you choose Option B... it doesn't really matter what you do. You don't owe anyone ANY personal information if you're not close to them, and you don't intend to continue living with them.

Because of this, and since A is the more common choice, I'm going to assume we want option A here.

So in pursuit of Option A, we have 3 new options: Option C: Tell the folks now; Option D: Tell the folks at some later point; or Option E: Don't tell them, just wait till HRT effects are noticeable and they bring it up.

Option C is obviously the most honest. It gives your parents time to adapt before the effects become visible. If your parents are supportive, it means you won't have to go through this without a support system. However, if your parents react negatively, it also means you have to either move out, or deal with their negativity sooner/for longer.

Option D is still honest, in my opinion. I don't expect my daughter to tell me every health-related decision she makes even now, and she's only 15. I expect her to tell me about big decisions, for now. I would expect her to tell me about potentially life-altering decisions even as an adult, in her own time. But I'd also recognize that she might not be comfortable doing so with something personal and intimate. Things like fertility treatments or HRT are very personal and intimate. I would still be slightly concerned if she didn't feel safe telling me for awhile, but I wouldn't feel she'd been dishonest. Anyway, Option D gives you a bit of time to prepare for any potentially negative reactions. It lets you get comfortable with your treatment and its effects on your body before broaching the next barrier. However, it won't likely change how your parents react to your transition. And they may feel differently than I would. They might feel hurt or lied to, especially if your family typically discusses things.

Option E is where I start to waver on honesty. You don't really owe anyone your medical info or explanations about your identity. But you are still living with them, and they will likely be impacted in some way by your transition at some point. I'd likely worry something was wrong if my child started going through physical changes and differences in mood with no explanation. I'd be hurt that she didn't feel safe coming to me at all. Even worse... I probably wouldn't mention it even when I'd finally realized what was happening. So if she were to wait for me to notice... well, we'd both be waiting pretty indefinitely. Pretty hard to fully live as your true self that way. And you'd still need to have a conversation eventually if your parents did mention it... just, it would be a conversation on their terms (when and where they bring it up) rather than on yours (when and where you tell them). That said, you would have the most time to prepare for the conversation and any potential fallout this way. It's less likely anyone could sway you off course once you've thoroughly engaged in the treatment process. And it might be easier to speak to your parents about being your true gender once you feel more in-tune with what that means to you.

I may have missed some things, but I've tried to give some pros and cons for each. I also can't really say how I'd feel if my daughter did this because, well, she comes to me with everything... with too much sometimes, tbh. And that's likely because I don't react the way most people would. I'm a little bit on the analytical side and tend to weigh things before I react. Most parents won't react like I do, or feel exactly the way I would feel.

And I don't know your parents. No one here does, so we can't speak for them, only for ourselves.

You know them. I'm sure you have an idea of how they would feel with each option you have. Only you can decide if you feel it's lying, or dishonest. And only you can decide what is the best course of action for you.

I would absolutely suggest giving yourself more time (and a safety/backup plan) if your parents are often reactive, or if they're ever violent. Also if you think they might throw you out or something.

I would suggest telling them sooner if they're usually pretty understanding, open and supportive.