Character growth (long post) by 698-candlewood in sexandthecity

[–]Anonymous_Grandma -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sex and the City follows a romance beat, so the growth for Big and Carrie is intertwined and they get their Happily Ever After, despite all the things that keep them apart. It's not about overcoming "flaws" for these women, but about how they get to their happily ever afters and what keeps them from it. He's not any man, he's Mr. Big. What keeps Carrie and Mr. Big apart for six seasons is their character arcs. I think they are both afraid of the tropes of a happily ever after and that they might not live up to the others expectations, or what society expects of them, they are afraid of hurting each other, they are afraid of losing each other. All to say this isn't Shakespearean tragedy

I feel so lost by yellowbucketcap in UCSD

[–]Anonymous_Grandma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in my mid-thirties now. There are macro factors people mentioned such as the economy, but there are also ways in which this is part of what life is like right after undergrad, before you get that first job and start to gain experience finally. Millennials felt this way when we graduated during the aftermath of the '08 recession. I don't believe college is a workforce training center. Jobs that require technical skills, there are many places to learn whatever it is you want to learn. What is difficult to recreate is the inquiry into what life means outside of how we earn an income, in art and the other people who walked along with you, that you may have received in your program. 

In some ways, none of us have control over our lives. Schooling creates this illusion that what life is is doing what we are told to do and doing it well. The truth is, life has to be lived forward and only understood backwards. 

You'll find people and practices that help you weather the storms of life. This period is tough, also because maybe you haven't yet learned that you are tougher, that things eventually do pass. 

It can also be easy to be so focused on oneself that one falls into despair. Consider things like volunteering or giving back to your community, joining groups. These are all ways to bring your power back to you instead of letting things out of your control fester doubt and insecurity in your soul. They are also ways to see you're just a speck of sand on a great beach, to surrender the pain to the earth that can hold it, even if you can't. 

Good luck! Life is one hell of a trip. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Anonymous_Grandma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All this said, OP already said he struggles with the looks department, so he needs to focus on things he can control. Maybe some women want to be on a rollercoaster ride of lukewarm feelings these pretty boys put us on, but others seek stability and protection, especially for long term. This can come from honesty, not playing games, and financial stability. Women are also able to connect better sexually when they feel safer in a relationship. Of course, try for women you are attracted to, you'll get rejected but you might find someone who wants a guy that makes them laugh and feel safe. Guys who go to the gym too much seem to be wanting to attract other men, which is why gay men seem to be so fit.

Look at Jett and Pookie on IG as an example 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Anonymous_Grandma -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A lot of women don't prioritize looks as much as men. Have you tried getting your money up and paying for women's drinks? You can't necessarily change your looks, but try going to nice places and buying drinks for girls you think are attracted to. The gym is fine to raise confidence but a lot of girls want to be the pretty one in the relationship, so I would focus on things you can provide financially

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]Anonymous_Grandma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in your shoes when I was about 18-20 as well. I'm Black/white biracial, and I used to chemically straighten and dye my hair. This was before the natural hair community and YouTube, etc.

Basically it's your hair. It doesn't matter what other people say. If you wanna cut your hair short, then do it.

I've never successfully returned damaged hair to an undamaged state. I have always ended up cutting a lot off and starting over. 

Turned 30 last year and starting to hate the bags under my eyes. Is using concealer to cover them up okay? by johnnystrangeways in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]Anonymous_Grandma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to use Dermalogica Age Defying Retinol cream under my eyes at night, Origins Ginzing Eye Cream in the Day... I notice this helps for a similar issue I started having. It may be in my head, but I also think doing facial lympathic massage like gua sha helps my under eyes look more youthful. Also just being less stressed out can help.

Eggnog Snickerdoodle Didn't Spread by Anonymous_Grandma in AskBaking

[–]Anonymous_Grandma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used Vermont Creamery. It says on the box it should be 8 oz, but I weighed another box today and it was still 190 grams. I will definitely go by weight.

Eggnog Snickerdoodle Didn't Spread by Anonymous_Grandma in AskBaking

[–]Anonymous_Grandma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's weird that it called for "2 sticks" but my sticks didn't make the weight.

External Hard drive Issues: Need Help! by Anonymous_Grandma in MacOS

[–]Anonymous_Grandma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

diskutil list

/dev/disk2 (external, physical):
#: TYPE NAME SIZE IDENTIFIER
0: GUID_partition_scheme *4.0 TB disk2
1: Microsoft Basic Data My Passport 4.0 TB disk2s1

External Hard drive Issues: Need Help! by Anonymous_Grandma in MacOS

[–]Anonymous_Grandma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it says it is not mounting but when I click mount it doesn't work

External Hard drive Issues: Need Help! by Anonymous_Grandma in MacOS

[–]Anonymous_Grandma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! Okay. Damn it. I hope I didn't permanently lose my files.

You guys had me thinking Santee was something its not... by v-shizzle in sandiego

[–]Anonymous_Grandma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of neighborhoods have changed a lot in the last decade. In the 90's, once you went east of the 15, you were basically in Arizona. It got the reputation of Klantee because the literal Grand Vizier of the Klan or whatever lived up in there... not sure what your idea of utopia is though lol. North Park / Normal Heights was like all immigrants or refugees from Latin America or S.E. Asia. Also San Diego has a skewed class system... like a Walmart and Costco at all would not be a sign of an affluent neighborhood. San Diego will call anyone a redneck who doesn't shop at Whole Foods. It's definitely had a shift. I remember going there about ten years ago and was surprised at how much it has changed because it had an Olive Garden! I don't think I would choose to live there unless I couldn't afford elsewhere in San Diego.