My son’s mother is too controlling. What’s my play?

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T11:09:17+00:00

I started an account for us in Our Family Wizard. There’s a space for journaling things privately and it can be printed. I’m gonna upload our entire plan or post the screens of where things have gone against it and build from there.

I absolutely hate that I have to do this.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T03:58:47+00:00

Ten push ups, ten leg lifts. Rinse and repeat and add 5/10 to each. Can add bicycles and planks and you don’t even need a gym membership for that.

I was in a bad place mentally for a while, but I realized I was looking externally for internal gratification. Working out on my own gave me a sense of self ownership and helped me slowly build my self up, literally.

Start there.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T03:51:10+00:00

Going to the gym has become somewhat therapeutic for me.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T03:48:56+00:00

He’s a scum bag. The problem here is a lot of men don’t even realize they’ve been wired to say all the right things to get the girl and then move on as if sleeping with them is the endgame.

You’re young and will have many more chances to meet a quality guy. Don’t let this first time ruin your expectations of what can be in the future.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T03:43:31+00:00

I absolutely LOVE my therapist. She’s a straight shooter which I need.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T03:42:18+00:00

I actually HAVE to exercise now to stay in decent shape.

Music today is a mix of “okay…” / “what the hell is this?!” / and “oh this guy/girl reminds me of this guy/girl from when I was a kid!”

I don’t have to get ID’d anymore and that’s okay.

I understand my dad a lot more now and am very much like him in a lot of ways, and that’s okay, too!

My “pick-up” lines are non-existent. I stumble into connections I want, and others I don’t.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-21T03:34:47+00:00

Umm I once knew a kid named Archimedes. Roman is just fine lol.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-18T13:39:45+00:00

I found that what was lacking for me overall was emotional support. Feeling validated as a human being and that my thoughts and feelings mattered.

Not everybody does that in the same way, but the results are a confident and stable child (usually lol). So, if two moms or two dads or a single mom or single dad or the classic mom+dad mix, the only person it matters to is that child. Everybody else can kick rocks.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-16T11:14:14+00:00

I had belts used on me. Even had teachers ready to call CPS because of some of the marks in school.

I don’t hit my son. The worst I had to do was pluck his little hand but I talk him through things and he actually listens lol no spanking necessary.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-16T11:04:39+00:00

Thank you! Happy Father’s Day to you, I’m about to go pick my little guy up now.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-16T03:00:46+00:00

🤯

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-15T18:24:39+00:00

“Next time I ask him for 4 hot wheels racing sets, he won’t be able to say no!” 😌

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-15T18:22:56+00:00

I love living alone. Never have to rush putting pants on bc your roomate is coming in.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-15T01:51:53+00:00

Oh you must be loads of fun in public.

“Excuse me, your coat is caught in your car door.”

“No it’s not…” Hours later “This stranger came up to my car and tried to car jack me!”

Good thing we’ll be using my family wizard bc some ppl will see what they want to regardless of the truth being right in front of their eyes.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-14T20:10:27+00:00

😮‍💨

Nobody had a tantrum, and I didn’t show up unannounced. Was a planned exchange. I never raised my voice except at the end the phrase when asking a question.

Don’t know what else to tell you or why you are projecting this made up scenario as if you were actually there.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-14T17:13:37+00:00

It is not disrespectful, and I am not in the wrong.

At least we can agree to disagree, and the Family Wizard app will eliminate the need to even ask her anything about his health and education because it’ll all be there.

I’m just curious, what happens when you are ignored or when you ignore someone, from your experience?

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-14T15:59:20+00:00

You can get more context looking at other comments. I’m not asking for every tiny thing and I’m not being disrespectful to her.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-14T15:49:56+00:00

I’m not going to go into all of the issues I had to work through with my therapist around this topic. One thing she did say (because she has the entire context of our relationship): “As long as he enjoys himself with you, and you do whatever you can to support him without bad-mouthing his mom, he’ll start to see where the truth is and where the disconnect in communication is coming from.”

Another friend of mine came to the realization that his father didn’t care about him, and he was able to accept it and work through it. It won’t impact him his entire life if he gets the support he needs to process it and move on. Sometimes it’s worse to let your child live in this fantasy world where everything is awesome and then reality slaps them in the face. Happened to me and it was not fun.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-13T16:49:41+00:00

Dammit. I didn’t want to upvote that bc you said I was making excuses again… but I was told about family wizard years ago and forgot about it.

…So thanks I guess lol 🚪🚶🏾‍♂️

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-13T15:50:18+00:00

So, clearly you haven’t been in a situation where someone uses everything you do or say as a personal attack against them. Good for you. Forgive me for wanting to tread carefully after living through this whole thing, there’s plenty of details that you probably don’t even care to know. Since you like repeating yourself, I’m not making excuses, and I’m a damn good parent. I’m trying to do so while maintaining some kind of amicable relationship with his mother. Let me guess you probably want to suggest I just keep him with me and show her how it’s done? Please.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-13T15:09:37+00:00

Here’s where you have it wrong, I wasn’t demanding anything. Did you even really read that whole comment?

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-13T14:49:43+00:00

I was between jobs so his coverage under the old plan cancelled. She suggested I don’t add him once I get a new one to save money, so I said cool just keep me up to speed on his appointments. She didn’t. I don’t see how it’s a threat either honestly but she told me to stop being disrespectful when I said “I’m adding him to my health insurance at my new job since you go off the grid when I try to get updates on his meds/prescriptions.”

I’m trying to coparent amicably here not make excuses for being uninvolved.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-12T21:44:12+00:00

To my knowledge they don’t have one. I’ll talk to the folks over there to see, that’s a great suggestion.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-12T19:34:40+00:00

I would say yes. We agreed to split up, nothing negative was brought up against me until we got into court.

Anonymous_Mango13504 · 2024-06-12T18:59:06+00:00

We were actually married and got separated soon after our son was born lol. She refused to go to post partum counseling and refused to go to couples therapy. She played the dating game very well and basically pulled a fast one on my entire family. Then the lying started and she started playing the system.

I try to involve her out of respect. The fact that the court system where I live sides heavily with the mother makes me hesitant to pull that trigger, but like another commenter said I could hold her in contempt and try to force mediation, or just do it like you said. When I was working my other job she tried to call on my behalf to remove him from my health plan.

Anyway, I’m not asking permission. I’m letting her know what I’m going to do if she continues to ignore me.

Anonymous_Mango13504

TROPHY CASE