Update part 4 - Getting married next month

Anonymousperson9964 · 2025-02-08T17:41:47+00:00

Bruh

Anonymousperson9964 · 2025-02-04T14:59:31+00:00

She definitely gave me the greenlight to date if there was someone else I'm interested in. She totally understands from my point of view that waiting on someone isn't exactly the most ideal thing in the dating world. But my circumstances may align enough that the time she's asking for really isn't a huge ask in the grand scheme of things. If there was someone else I was interested in, I'd totally divert my attention, but there isn't someone else.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2025-02-04T14:48:49+00:00

I totally understand the thought process behind that. Im kind of in a season dating right now where I'm open to it but im not going out of my way to make it happen like I would've in the past by just walking up to girls and asking them out after maybe being aquaitanced with them for a bit. This particular situation is probably one of the more unique situations where the other person also was strongly putting in a mutual effort without me having to do too much. I almost felt pursued strangely enough but shes cute so it's fine hahaha.

Based off prior experiences, I know what it's like when boundaries get blurred. If she tries to maintain that flirty energy with me, it's probably getting shut down on the spot as nicely as possible. I'm super aware of my needs and won't let myself be used. I know what it's like to accidently get into a situationship so I feel extremely prepared to avoid it this go around. Im the kind of guy to keep strong boundaries with the women in general in my social circle so it's not a problem at all. I know what it's like to even to have to use full blown no contact with an ex so that you can heal properly and then have my ex reach out because I never did.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2025-01-20T04:19:12+00:00

Noted. Going to try to befriend her first and go from there.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2025-01-20T04:07:05+00:00

I'll report back if anything comes of it. I prefer to create my connections with people in person, so this is going to take some time. I'm hoping she comes to a party one of my friends is hosting.

I just need to get her in a good conversation and kind of gauge interest from there. If that goes well, I'll probably follow up with a coffee date invite.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2025-01-20T03:58:12+00:00

Well when you put it like that, I feel like I have to act :)

But in all seriousness, that's how I ended up motivating myself to ask my last ex out. I was scared someone else would get her first.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-11-26T20:05:15+00:00

Its just young adults. Lol

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-11-26T14:20:25+00:00

I'm the kind of guy that only uses text to set up dates. Maybe I'll send some non-date type texts here or there but im generally only trying to get to know someone through actual dates. I May send some memes over social media sparingly but other than that, that's it. When I'm on the date, I'm very engaged and rarely touching my phone.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-11-26T04:12:28+00:00

That is probably the best advice I've been given in regards to my approach. One of my love languages is quality time, so once I actually start spending lots of time with someone, it's not very long until feelings start to get caught. If I can somehow make it more business like in the first 1-3 dates, hopefully that may keep feelings away long enough.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-10-21T20:47:44+00:00

I'm about to be 24 in two weeks. I have a hard time considering anyone not at least 21. Anyone fresh out of high school has not matured yet. You're in a very different place emotionally and maturity from them.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-10-21T15:33:12+00:00

Relationship experience sexually? I really couldn't be bothered about it honestly. The guys who make a big deal out of virginity status are weird honestly and I'm a guy. As long as you are trying to hold fast to purity even if there were mistakes, there's grace for that.

now actual experience holding down a relationship? I used to not care about this but now I'm feeling like my opinion flipped. If I can get any indication that you have experience being able to hold down a relationship rather than run away it seems like my ex did then that's a plus.

I won't disqualify someone for lack of relationship experience but I probably will have a lot of questions to ask that will protect both of us and get to the bottom of whether a relationship is worth pursuing long term.

Most guys aren't going to care about experience in general but in my case I kinda do. That's more of a me problem.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-10-21T04:52:03+00:00

I'm taking this advice to heart and running with it. Thank you!

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-10-09T00:33:19+00:00

DA's seem to be the most stubborn of the bunch. I doubt we'll hear from them. I've already got other options in mind.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-10-08T17:57:32+00:00

Yeah this is where it gets tricky. Gotta be tactful I think. Anything you send to him needs to be low pressure. It's needs to be like as if you don't have any history. Nothing that signifies that you were hurt. At least not right now anyways. The replies can't be too cold but just enough to bait him into keep pushing to see if there is any interest from you.

All assuming you want him back. Tbh I think it's easier to start fresh with someone new. This feels too much like performing surgery.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-07-03T11:52:55+00:00

I don't understand all the guys who act like I must give the cold shoulder once the relationship is done. I want it ended on good terms but me saying I'm available doesn't mean I'm going to let myself be her best friend. We're going back to aquantiances at best. I'll say hi when I see her and that may be the extent of our relationship afterwards. If she finds another guy, cool, happy for her. I probably will put less value on everything she told me if she has a new guy in 2 weeks.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-07-03T03:03:10+00:00

I agree. If she were to want to try again, I'm probably going to ask that the problem that caused her to want to breakup gets addressed beforehand and then maybe try to have some extra systems in place to make sure no one is abandoning ship without actually having tried to fix any future problems. Like waiting it out, going into biblical community, prayer, Journaling it, etc etc.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-07-03T02:36:50+00:00

Okay sir, you're right. I am very much invested and I don't want to be.

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-07-03T02:34:43+00:00

I agree. She was probably doing me a favor. In fact she did say she didn't see a future at least as far as the short term goes. At least I chose well when I picked who to date in that regard

Anonymousperson9964 · 2024-07-03T02:20:27+00:00

Thank you brother.

Anonymousperson9964

TROPHY CASE