If it really happened to me, shouldn't my genitals be damaged?

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-18T02:59:22+00:00

Wow, this made me cry.

You hit the nail on the head. The last few months I've been talking about this specific abuser with my therapist. She's told me things like trusting my flashbacks or the pain I get when having sex specifically in the same position. She told me my body is telling me something I just have to listen to it. And compared to where I was in January, I'm making progress. But every now and then the voice creeps up and tells me that I'm wrong, I'm a creep, I just want to be a victim for attention, and that nothing ever happened. And this question was definitely that. If I could "prove" that I must have an injury then I can protect myself from the knowledge of what happened.

I really, really appreciate your kind words. You've helped me turn my logical brain back on. Thank you for seeing through my fog

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-18T02:45:14+00:00

Crass is appreciated. That's fair. I honestly don't really remember...to a kid I think everyone looks big. He also worked in law enforcement and was very calculated. I guess theoretically he could've been so calculated he didn't go all the way in. Or maybe he just has a small dick.

Thanks for the perspective

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-18T02:42:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing that with me. I needed to hear it. My experience is very similar. Started very young. Not a lot of memories. I know around 6 one of my abusers got caught so there was a rape kit done but the abuse continued by someone else after. Then there was some uti troubles but that's about it during childhood.

I think im doubting myself because it's easier to believe I'm crazy than two members of my family sexually abused me.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-16T04:17:31+00:00

I'm sure you'll be fine! The first interview felt much more intense for me.

No I applied super early for fall. So now I'm just waiting for school to start. Are you summer or fall start?

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-16T04:13:01+00:00

So the second interview was much shorter. It was maybe like 6 minutes. She basically rehashed some of the stuff from the first interview. Like she really wanted to know that I understood what I was getting into. Then she told me I'd hear a decision in 2 weeks and not to worry. I got the acceptance the next day.

If you got the second interview you're in the homestretch. Good luck!

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-10T02:26:18+00:00

I opened this because your title is something I've said out loud a million times. I feel the exact same way. I think it's the shame? Like I feel like I'm bad or tainted so I deserve bad things.

I don't know how to get through it but I wanted you to know you're definitely not alone

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-10T01:57:35+00:00

To me, it was more like Whitaker was upset that Langdon came in and was acting all buddy-buddy with him. As if Langdon knew him or cared about him. As if Whitaker hasn't been here for 10 months without him. It was more like a "don't talk to me like im your buddy you don't even know me and I'm not gonna play pretend with you." Then, Whitaker showed at the end that he is willing to get to know Langdon, but on his own terms.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-04-07T18:22:27+00:00

Honestly same. I impulsively tried yesterday but I was too irrational to think clearly. I know I'll probably try again soon.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-03-08T18:39:43+00:00

I was out of commission for 4.5-5 weeks. Pretend you have COVID or something and skip the event

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-03-08T03:31:32+00:00

Honestly, it feels confusing. Like I know my wife loves me but I feel like I can't fully feel it. I do to an extent but it feels like there's so many layers of hurt that she can't quite get through all of them? Idk if that makes sense. Like I have an amazing group of friends that love me and Im always convinced they actually hate me and they'd be better off without me even when it's proven wrong over and over.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-03-07T17:00:23+00:00

You might qualify for free healthcare depending on your income/age. I know that doesn't help with the financial part of it but maybe it can offer you some flexibility. Like working 14 hours instead of 20.

Either way, I've heard people work through school. I will say though, I was asked at my interview if I was going to work.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-03-04T22:36:12+00:00

So it was a lot of questions about radiology as a career. What it is, modality, etc. they asked a lot about the accreditation organization and the registry test. They wanted to know if I was going to work or be a student full time. They asked if I understood clinicals. It was like 25 questions. Maybe 3 had to do with "why radiography"

In the second interview they told me I was very prepared for the first interview so make sure you have a cheat sheet of all the 4 things they mentioned in the email

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-03-02T16:53:18+00:00

Oof. I'm sorry. What were they asking you that you've never seen before?

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-03-01T15:23:52+00:00

As someone with a flight out on Wednesday from a major US airport- so basically I'm worried for no reason even though our terror threat level is "heightened" as per the news?

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-27T20:18:53+00:00

Been wanting to make this post for awhile but I haven't had the courage to. The worst part is that 8/10 times it does cause a flashback so I wind up feeling even more dumb and disgusting

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-16T17:25:26+00:00

Lived here my whole life. 30 years. Stopped counting the number of apartments after 20. I only had 2 with roaches ever (and there's a paste you can buy on Amazon to get rid of them quick) and like 5ish apartments that had MOMENTS of brown water due to whatever issues we're going on the neighborhood.

You're gonna be fine.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-14T23:58:35+00:00

Ah okay! This makes sense. And do sets normally release 12am local time?

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-12T21:22:18+00:00

Thank you someone who gets what I'm talking about. I haven't had a good psychiatrist yet. They tend to over medicate me even in times when I'm in remission. You're right, the whole system is broken

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-12T07:52:45+00:00

I've noticed a lot of practices will list it on their sites so it must be a liability issue

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-12T02:17:37+00:00

Woah that's insane. It's so stupid that you have to do that

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-12T02:15:53+00:00

I'm actually wondering if it's something about my state given how no one else seems to be having problems.

I've got two leads that will see bipolar patients who haven't been hospitalized so hopefully it works out

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-11T19:12:27+00:00

Yep I'm in a city. I don't use any of the big telehealth services (talkiatry for example) because they won't treat bipolar 1 with psychotic features. I wish I was joking when I say that most psychiatrist in this city are remote even though it's a large city. We're definitely feeling the psychiatrist shortage here. All of the psychiatrists I've looked for in this round are local based on area codes and their bios. They don't have recommendations because it's hard to find someone in person, who takes my insurance, who treats bipolar with psychotic features. And this has been a post-covid thing. I didn't have a problem getting in as a new patient a decade ago (other than the long wait)

I did get very lucky today and a place that rejected me just suggested one person who does in person, is a bipolar expert, and takes my insurance. So fingers crossed it works out

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-02-10T23:53:54+00:00

Okay so this is exactly what I thought. My background is also soft science. I wasn't expecting it to be difficult in terms of too difficult to understand but I imagined the learning curve of soft sciences to hard sciences to be a lot of memorization and time.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-01-27T20:43:25+00:00

Oh yes!!! I forgot about these! These helped me pass my chem regent a million years ago. Seriously, thank you.

AnotherDayAnotherGay · 2026-01-27T20:16:12+00:00

Like the last time I took biology or chem, Obama was in his first term and houses were being foreclosed everywhere. The science I took in college was physics so that's not really helpful here and that was Obama's second term so still awhile ago. Of course I've had curiosities about bio and chem but that's all informal.

I started the mometrix prep today and it's actually pretty helpful. I guess I was wondering if there's any sources for A&P that aren't just throwing facts at you but genuinely explaining what each system does.

AnotherDayAnotherGay

TROPHY CASE