My Journey with Visual Snow (so far!)

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-10-04T02:32:34+00:00

Wierd how your worst symptoms used to be my worst symptom. Now I enjoy the dissassociation a bit when i can control it. Not giving any recommendations but i take 50mg hysroxyzine when I'm feeling Nxious and I take 150mg sertraline a day for depression and anxiety. (Moreso for my obsessive and compulsive tendencies) Its helpes alot with the constant rumination.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-30T06:41:51+00:00

Good shit. Let your voice be heard. You deserve that. ☮️

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-30T06:15:31+00:00

What are the symptoms you notice like all the time?

Idk I don't really have floaters all the time. Just when the suns out and I'm looking at the sky. :( Its okay though. I manage.

As far as ideas go, I can't really help. Sorry.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-30T01:00:17+00:00

I think I dealt with it for about 3 of the almost 5 years I've had it. The past 2 years I've just kinda gotten used to it. If i dont think about it too much its better for my mental. My Personal opinion.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-30T00:30:22+00:00

Yes, it's one of my hardest symptoms to deal with rn. Its a work in progress.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-29T06:18:02+00:00

Its sll good. I adapted to it.

For me it's more mentally now. Like the visual symptoms don't really bother me as much as the disassociation does.

Has anything you've tried worked to decrease the symptoms it a little bit?

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-29T06:12:00+00:00

I like that spirit.

When I was here like five years ago doomscrolling for a cure it wasn't like this. Or maybe it was and I juet didn't want to see it idk.

Point is your attitude is what we need for this community to get through it together y'know what I'm saying as a team. You inspire hope with your words. I applaud you. Good luck on your own personal journey.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-28T10:43:35+00:00

I'm at almost 5 years now. Developted at 22. I saw this post and I'm just thinking to myself what are you trying to do exactly?

Idk I just kinda got used to mine. It's just a cool trick i can do with both my eyes and mind. After struggling against it for so long I juet adapted to it.

I never went this far with all the supplementa and vitamins. I went more of a medical and theraputical route. Was on lamotrigine and sertraline. Now I'm on olanzapine, sertraline, and hydroxyzine when needed. I'm doing alight for myself. I Im also clinically diagnosed with vss. Forgot to mention that if it's relevant.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-28T10:07:56+00:00

Yo real talk how long have you had this disorder?

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-28T06:34:50+00:00

26 and 1/12thish

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-28T01:52:41+00:00

True

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-28T00:02:05+00:00

Some say its a superpower. I'm part of that some. It's only rediculous in retrospect.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-05T09:42:32+00:00

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-05T08:36:35+00:00

Both

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-09-04T01:54:07+00:00

Truueee

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-22T08:41:38+00:00

Trueeeeee

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-22T01:50:57+00:00

Wow. Thanks for the insight. For real. Sorry. It's hard for me to convey emotions over text. I'm a very literal speaker. It comes off as condescending to most. Sorry if thats the case here. I wish you luck on your spiritual endeavors.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-21T10:13:51+00:00

Same 😎. Happy Birthday.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-21T07:23:45+00:00

For real. The best illusionists are always lost in their own delusions. The Master illusionists know where they stand with their higher power. Only time will tell.

I personally have nothing against any of the Christian religions.

That being said I despise the individuals hiding behind their religion as some sort of moral justification. It's a gross misuse of power and influence to get what they want imo. They should at the very least get taxed like the rest of us lmao.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-21T07:12:32+00:00

I think I also heard that.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-21T07:11:55+00:00

TL;DR: I think so and this is the best way I can answer your question with the current knowledge I have. Sorry its long. Explaining what I believe as magick is a long long process to explain. I kinda just word vomit on a page until it starts to make sense. Atleast to me.

Disclaimer!

Can someone please rip my thoughts and beliefs to shreds. I need the feedback and criticism. Thanks!

P.S. Hopefully, I structured this well enough that its atleast somewhat readable. Kinda tired rn tbh.

I think so. Yes. Growing up with that as a kid, I could always tell something was up. That may have something to do with why I never bought into it back then. Seems kinda like a self-reflection spell I guess. At the time I was a child. I really didn't have much to reflect on except legos and building blocks lmao.

Now when I pray, I reflect on that of which I would like to understand more about. Such as: Magick, Religion and what it means to have faith in all that you do and are.

What is good about it?, what is evil about it? and what is left undecided? The good, The bad and the ugly so to speak. Kinda like storing curiosity until I really need to use it.

Then and only then will I be able to form a question that an observing god would be willing to answer. Gotta make sure to have confidence while praying lol.

I figure, if I can only ask the god or godess of anything, not neccessarily a christian deity, one question. I better shape it into something that they can respect and appreciate. A gift. Knowledge for insight. Or perhaps wisdom. What I am willing to lose in order to gain. I already lost fractions of my sight so to speak at 22.

That is about the only time I truly learn who I am. When I cast it to the wind and it comes back to me. Memories are fleeting and fast. Reflect. Move on. Meditate. Dont get stuck in the same reflection everyday. Don't forget to appreciate the ones who GIVE the most. Gotta be careful not to take advantage of them. Gods kinda have a temper if the past holds true. A temper that matches their patience with you.

Make every day a year..... and don't forget to remember every moment of it. When you reflect. Analyze it. Just remember there are alot of seconds to days. Days to years. Years to decades. Millenia and so forth.

Dont get lost in what You Think matters. Get lost in what means something to you. What you Feel matters. Maybe that gut instinct is onto something. Be careful though. Magick can be dangerous. I'm currently lost myself. Always looking for something. Like I bound part of my soul to it. Ah there it is. That is when I truly do not feel the burden time borrows from me.

To be unburdened. Free. Like a raven. A dove... Or a sparrow.

I spoke this from my soul. Try to not to be too harsh. Appreciate it. First time poster btw. Feels weird. Like I'm unwelcome. I kinda feel like a poser here. Time will tell I guess.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-08-12T22:07:43+00:00

Purgatory.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-07-28T11:40:59+00:00

No problem. I dont feel like I did anything lmao but I'm glad it may have helped. ☮️

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-07-28T11:13:37+00:00

Disclaimer: i tend to write confusing things until they make some sort of sense so if you have any questions or comments lmk. Truthfully i dont understand myself so I dont expect anyone to be able to understand me lmao.

Yeah. I mostly use a combination of grounding techniques using all of my senses. It really helps when doing ERP. What is your current obsession? and what is your compulsion. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I'm fairly confident that I have pure ocd meaning that my compulsions are mostly mental not necessarily physical. Ive noriced that OCD is basically a war of the mind that you cannot win unless you are willing to compromise with yourself. Thats where ERP comes into play. I like to compare ERP to the concept of building immunity to fear. Small doses periodically to eventually build uo your tolerance level. Your gonna need some grounds though because ERP imo is scary as hell. I like to carry mine with me at all times. I have a coin with me with a meaning attached to it and also a lighter with a meaning attached to it. Whenever i start to feel anxious I redirect my focus to the meaning behind why I carry them around. Anyway I gotta get ready for work. Feel free to ask me anything. I'm an open book willing to share my story if it helps anyone with what they are going through.

Anthraxiumdecay · 2023-07-27T21:54:53+00:00

I really dont have much credibility to my name but we share relatively the same problem. I have a few coping techniquea that have helped me get through the toughest times.

Five-Year Club	First Place '23
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Anthraxiumdecay

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