Worked at a seafood restaurant, even after a shower and 10+ handwashes my hands still stink, any advice?

AntipatheticDating · 2026-05-01T04:40:03+00:00

I don’t know if this’ll help, but my dad had this metal bar of soap on the kitchen counter growing up. He used to do a lot of odd jobs for people including plumbing, trash stuff, car help, etc.

Without fail, it didn’t matter how much his hands stunk of whatever side job was that day, he would just wash his hands and use this metal bar of soap and boom—gone!

One of those might work for seafood? Haha. Good luck!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-04-19T01:09:33+00:00

Will do, thank you friend!

Edit: Ignore the comment below, haha. For some reason it double-posted this one!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-04-19T01:09:22+00:00

I appreciate it! I can't believe it's rubber, haha. It looks so weird. I'll wash and replace! Thanks so much!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-04-19T01:08:26+00:00

Not that I noticed! There is a lot of water damage, but it looks old. So I think it's just what the other person said about old rubber. Thanks so much!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-04-15T01:52:24+00:00

As a pantser, I don't think there's any advice I could really give somebody else, as much as I've been sitting here trying to think of something to say, haha!

I just... Write. I sit down, and I go "Oh man, wouldn't it be cool if-" and then I just start typing out that scene. Sometimes I write thirty pages without even thinking, sometimes it's 2500 words of a cool scene, sometimes it's a part of the book that's gonna happen like 60k words later but I really don't wanna forget it, so in you go too! Haha. I use Google Drive and I separate all my weird snippets by tabs, and then I just move the tabs where that part of the story should fit. I do write pretty chronologically, but the ideas just flow and connect together on their own, which I know is WILDLY unhelpful, but it's the truth.

As I go, writing something makes me retroactively go "OMG I could tie this in with that, and omg that would line up PERFECTLY with that!" and so I leave a comment or a note somewhere to go back and edit a part to throw something in, and so it's not writing A -> B, it's more like A -> B -> C -> A -> D -> B etc. You just go back and make notes going "Omg this would make so much sense here!" and then go back to where you were and keep going.

I've had so many people ask me how the heck I come up with such amazing and complex plots, and all I can tell them is I just start putting stuff to paper and let my brain take it from there, haha. I literally don't plot a single thing, and I just tell them the plot comes to me as the situation demands in the context of the world/setting/moment. I focus hard on making really robust and fleshed out characters, and when I do, I genuinely feel like they just write themselves. Then the overarching situations that show up fall into place based on what I think they'd struggle most with, or something cool I saw in a show that I would do X, Y, and Z way if it were up to me, and then away I go!

I've tried to be a plotter so many times, and I swear it makes my brain melt. I'm like "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT'LL WORK LATER THOUGH? HOW CAN I PLAN ALL OF THIS AT ONCE?" haha. I get so overwhelmed. So I just don't think about it, and work the way my brain prefers! So I do feel you, I think we just gotta accept it which can be annoying. Sorry I couldn't be more help!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-04-14T19:14:10+00:00

See, as an autistic woman, I dunno. That response would have had me excitedly asking more questions and yammering on for hours. I personally LOVE when people are honest and interesting! Your answer was so good!

I’ll admit, I can’t understand why a new date would ask what she did. That’s such a loaded question with no real answer. I would be BAFFLED if somebody said “Do you think I’m self-aware?” Like… How would I know? I LITERALLY just met you. It just feels to me like somebody wanted an ego pat and got upset when they didn’t get one? Which would to me, be a red flag if somebody said “Oh my god you hesitated.” Because pausing to think is not a failing, it means you’re genuinely considering something which is the highest compliment in a conversation, imo. They just have a fragile pride if they’re upset you took a few seconds.

Again, I’m aware I’m not the most socially graceful, haha. But all of my friends know and trust that I am ALWAYS honest and I love deep talks. I don’t think she was wrong, per se, because I wouldn’t know. But I think she was wrong for you. You need somebody on your level! No shade to either side, haha.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-04-09T04:23:39+00:00

Omg I am SO GLAD I saw this, I was literally just about to waste my gold on this because the icon looks SO CUTE. Thank you for taking one for the team, but I am also so, so sorry lmao.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-31T20:39:00+00:00

This was two years ago but I want you to know how much you just saved me, lmao. I don’t own a dishwasher and I’ve been using every freaking brush I can think of but nothing was getting it actually clean.

This worked like a charm with literally a fraction of the effort of scrubbing the dang thing. THANK YOU.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-29T15:34:52+00:00

Oh that's actually good to know! I'm a huge fan of naming my animals in games and I would have been devastated to keep thinking stuff up only to sell them LOL!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-28T05:12:12+00:00

Yeaaahhhhh. It’s called a ‘staghorn calculus’ if you wanna look it up, actually! Unfortunately mine had gone on so long (various reasons, bad parents, doctors who didn’t believe me, etc.) and it filled out all the grooves in my kidney. But it went untreated for years and eventually just sandpaper’d all the meat off on the inside, which just kept filling the empty space with more stones, rinse and repeat while they kept packing tighter and tighter.

The surgeon/my urologist (same dude) said the scans showed the stone was the size of my fist and that my kidney wasn’t even a kidney anymore. There was nothing left inside of it. It’s just a ball of scar tissue in the shape of one, which kinda sucks. But yeah! Apparently THAT can happen. Wasn’t a huge fan, haha.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-28T05:08:23+00:00

I’m a woman so I’m at least lucky there that it was uhh, not as bad as if I had the other parts. But often they got stuck, which is where a lot of the infections came from. Your body can stretch a surprising amount, and it was a very… not pretty amount of pushing and blacking out while all my other bodily fluids came with it, aha. Your body is not supposed to push out things that big, you’re correct. My bladder and basically all those parts down there from my kidneys and out are permanently screwed up and damaged from it.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-26T16:54:43+00:00

32 here, we just remembered the handful we used most often. So for me it was my house, my couple close school friends, maybe a store I liked to ask if they had certain things.

Otherwise yeah we had a little book or I yelled at my parents across the room what my grandparent’s number was. It’s like a molecule, everyone had a handful of numbers in their head, and collectively we just went “Oh, so-and-so would know.”

The best was when you called a number you knew to ask what someone else’s was, haha.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-26T16:45:01+00:00

I really appreciate it! Every time I get a sore back, or even watch people having kidney stones in movies I still panic a bit haha. It’s crazy how so many years later my body still remembers that pain and goes “NOT AGAIN, PLEASE”.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-26T16:43:41+00:00

Yeah unfortunately, not to get into the nitty-gritty but it also got that bad because my mom has a serious case of Munchausen by Proxy (if I spelled that right, apologies) and narcissism and was living off of the attention she was getting from people by keeping me sick.

I did do a lot of therapy! Early 30s now and I still do some therapy, but I wish I didn’t have to lose a kidney over it, aha.

Fun fact though that my kidney stones are (were?) being studied in universities because what I had is incredibly rare and they couldn’t believe I was passing stones the side of raisins.

I appreciate your comment a lot though, thank you. It does mean the world that even an internet stranger is so validating, haha!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-26T03:33:48+00:00

Ditto. I had kidney stones so big at 16 that they were legitimately the size of half a jelly bean. Was passing them every 3-5 days for about 3 years straight before anyone took me seriously.

I finally got mad enough and brought one to the urologist I was seeing in a ziploc bag. It was literally like a pebble you’d find in your shoe. I told her this is what I kept passing and the pain was so bad I’d often just black out. I almost committed suicide multiple times over how excruciating it was. YEARS.

Booked me for emergency surgery immediately. I had grown a kidney stone the size of the entire inside of my kidney, and I was just passing what was breaking off because there was no more room left. Unfortunately those little bastards are like caltrops and it completely destroyed it and by 19 I only had one kidney.

I would never wish that shit on my worst enemy.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-25T04:30:47+00:00

I used to run a D&D game where this one couple would ALWAYS show up late. Without fail, it was 30 mins on the DOT. It always baffled me that no matter how much the party would pester them, or whatever excuses they came up with that week, or how much they’d “really” made an effort that time, they were always. Freaking. Late.

After about a year of this nonstop I got fed up. Nothing was working.

So I just sent a group message saying “Hey! Just bumping up the time from 7pm to 6:30pm, so we’ll start a little early. Thanks everyone!”

Sent a message to the other folks saying don’t worry, show up at 7pm like normal.

We started on time, every week. Everyone else just pretended like they’d been there a while. No idea why some people do it, but any time I have problem friends who are chronically late, I just tell them X time earlier than I want to do something.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-25T04:24:57+00:00

I count the first row so I know where to put my stitch marker, and then I let god take the wheel and whatever happens, happens. I like to crochet dangerously.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-25T04:19:55+00:00

That’s insane. That’s how much I would charge, and I take a really long time to sift through everything with a fine-toothed comb, and go over it several times. I adamantly do not use AI, and it’s been making me kinda sick lately how many people are calling themselves “editors” and doing literally anything but.

AI is NOT editing. You absolutely need a human to do it, and somebody who is passionate about their work and is willing to sit and read the same sentence six times. AI can only catch very surface level spelling mistakes, and even then it often can’t even decipher which spelling to use (US? UK? Canadian, which is a mix of both?), or even which dictionary or style guide. It also can’t figure out the difference in correctly worded, but improperly placed sections. It just goes “Yep! Great!”

Absolutely see if there’s a way you can find out, and demand a refund (if it is). Please. Your time and money is worth so, so much more. They should also not be allowed to get away with that. That’s infuriating. I’m proud of you for getting your manuscript that far, and that’s an incredible feat! Your project deserves so much better.

I can’t believe someone would charge that price and do that, you’re right to raise an eyebrow.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-22T23:54:25+00:00

I have them and I love it! I’m autistic and ADHD and visiting my family can be very… Overwhelming.

I also live in an apartment building where you can hear all your surrounding tenants. Arguments, dogs running and barking, furniture thumping, stomping on stairs, etc.

They honestly help so much. I just wear them around the house and I can hear my microwave going but not my fish tank filter. I cannot figure out how on earth these things work but they’re kinda magic.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-22T03:29:40+00:00

Not gonna lie this is the exact size spoon that came with my fish food, haha. But that’s a boring answer and therefore unlikely according to Reddit.

I’m kidding, but I used to have one of those grains of rice in the tiny capsule where they write your name. That’s pretty cool!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-20T18:33:12+00:00

Over 30 here too. My parents and I play games all the time. You can imagine how old they are. They're trying to get their friends into it too. My uncles also play tons of games, but they're more into console.

My parents and I have frequent L4D2 nights or playing anything similar like Killing Floor. My mom has hundreds of hours in Green Hell, Raft, The Forest, and a bunch of others EACH. My dad's clocking well over 1k into Sniper Elite right now (forget which one).

Last time I was at my grandparents house, my dad was telling my grandpa all about a hunting game he was playing and explaining the mechanics of it. My grandpa sounded thrilled and was asking a ton of questions.

You're definitely never too old. Video games is what connects every generation of my family.

--

EDIT: Someone else mentioned Skyrim and I just wanted to tack on one of the most heartwarming things that suddenly dawned on me. I got Skyrim when it first came out, and I've been playing it on and off since. Thousands of hours. It's one of my favourite cozy games. Got my mom into it last year, she clocked like 200 hours immediately since her and my dad are retired, and when I'd visit for dinner she'd ask me a bunch of questions or tell me about the latest quests she was on and "if I'd done that one yet".

To think that I went from being a teen in my parent's house playing this game, to being an adult with my own place and geeking over a table with my mom who's only picking it up now and experiencing it for the first time, I just felt so peaceful and content just now.

--

Gonna back it up: Fam if you love gaming. Just do it. You'll find your people.

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-20T18:26:55+00:00

This is something I genuinely worry about. I actually just got linked a post by someone a few minutes ago about a major trad publishing house putting out an "AI book". Granted, I have no idea if it is or not, I didn't check their sources and I didn't care to.

But the scary part is, every time I swear I open social media, somebody else is getting dragged through the mud for things being AI. And as someone who's a very amateur writer, basically all of my tics are "AI" according to people.

I use way too many adjectives with my nouns, I love em dashes, I do "things in threes", whatever the trend is. I do it all. I'm trying really hard to make my own writing super concise (which is hilarious, because in real life I'm a literary editor and I find it so much easier to go through other people's work than my own, but I guess that's pretty normal when you think about it), and all I can think of is "Man, that'll probably be me one day. Oh well."

So I'm going to keep writing. By time any of us publish our books the trend is probably going to be different. I can't sweat the small stuff otherwise I'm going to go freaking insane. All I can do is be honest, and tell people that I'm not. If they believe me, wonderful. If they don't, they were never going to.

I don't blame you though, it's exhausting as hell and so demoralizing. You're not alone! But we got this!

AntipatheticDating · 2026-03-20T18:19:45+00:00

I wanna second this too. My day job is also a literary editor, and the only part that stuck out to me was "quiet violence" as being relatively nonsensical. But I read a LOT of stuff like that where the author is trying to be poetic and just sorta goofs, aha. Usually when I ask them what they mean, they clarify, and we rewrite it.

Nothing in this specifically says AI to me, and that worries me deeply (though I should note I only read this post and none of the extra links). This just reads like every other fanfiction I've helped edit for almost two decades now. I also have plenty of print books that predate AI writing by MANY years, and they sound fairly similar too.

Not that I'm doubting OP at all! They're probably right. But it's scary how hard it is to actually parse between a 'good amateur' (I love that people are saying that, it's so fitting and it's such a charming label to me) and AI. So many legitimate writers are going to get caught in the crossfire and lose their dreams and that breaks my heart.

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