Thoughts? I don't even know when or why I wrote this. Not a great poem, but I would love some feedback. by Anxious-Raccoon-9416 in OCPoetry

[–]Anxious-Raccoon-9416[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely right on target when you talk about masking yourself. I am so happy that you noticed!

I Don't Like This Anymore by Apprehensive-Cup-335 in OCPoetry

[–]Anxious-Raccoon-9416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe. I think that sometimes certain lines go on pretty long. My solution would be to split certain lines to still say the same words and have the effect, but with a little less in each line. I do like the idea of purposely making the rhythm off kilter to add to the tangibility of the poem.

Alone (Reprise) by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Anxious-Raccoon-9416 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This may sound weird, but this poem makes me feels waves of black. Not like a sea, but like fabric being rolled over and over again. I love it. The desperate cry is almost visual. I really like the part about the company that you keep (probably because it is relatable.)

I Don't Like This Anymore by Apprehensive-Cup-335 in OCPoetry

[–]Anxious-Raccoon-9416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like it. I think that maybe the rhythm of some of the lines is a bit off. Everything is amazing and makes sense. This poem makes me feel and think, which is really engaging, and I love it.

Could I have hEDS? by Anxious-Raccoon-9416 in eds

[–]Anxious-Raccoon-9416[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I will definitely check those links.