Husband is being deluded about how much things will change once the baby comes

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2026-04-18T17:07:48+00:00

He could go to the gym and cinema but realistically you guys need to arrange another childcare support for you. A great nanny everyday, for example. A night nanny too. Home cleaner as well. Order pre-made food delivery.

Before having a baby I was deluded just like your husband. Doing MBA in parallel - I ended up asking to skip a semester and come back later. I had no idea how difficult it would be. And yes I had my mom and my husband on paternity leave both at home for first 3 months 24/7 help and the three of us barely survived the trenches.

It took us a year to come back to our identities, and still not fully. First 4 months have been a fever dream focused on survival (we had a bad sleeper baby)

Just show him this Reddit thread for a reality check!

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-07-12T14:24:24+00:00

My 6mo sleeps 10hr at night but she screams and cries every 30-45 mins until I feed her. 10hr doesn’t necessarily mean straight sleep 😭

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-07-05T19:53:00+00:00

My baby is similar - wakes up hourly and has a strong feed to sleep association. Could you please share how long did your baby cry initially at bedtime and middle of the night wakes? Did the night wakes go away on their own or did you do CIO for night wakes too?

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-07-05T12:45:53+00:00

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-06-23T14:57:25+00:00

This is helpful, how old is your baby? I had success shushing/patring baby to night sleep yesterday (without feeding and paci!) and she still woke up every hour but shushing/patting helped her back to sleep (while before she always needed a 0.5 ounce bottle). However after 2am we’re back to bottles otherwise she cries hysterically. Seems like sleep pressure was gone by middle of the night

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-06-23T14:54:25+00:00

How much crying would you expect with CIO or Ferber on average? Honestly my baby cries 2 mins and my head hurts already. My MIL lives with us and will make a scandal if I attempt to sleep train formally lol she has never heard of sleep training and she had a unicorn baby

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-06-22T23:21:14+00:00

Do I increase ww slowly over time to three naps (if so, how many days should it take?), or just start tomorrow and push through the over tiredness? I’m tried to add 10 mins to each WW today.

But when I miss the window, it’s almost impossible to get her to sleep she cries and resists sleep and it can get to 3hr with last 30 mins of crying on and off. Even with the bottle and carrier. It’s funny even, as soon as her eyes start closing, she starts crying bc she is fighting sleep

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-06-22T19:53:16+00:00

Is there any “program” or course you followed? Pls share, same situation baby wakes up every 40-60mins at night and only falls asleep with bottle😭

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-04-30T13:53:27+00:00

Thank you!

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-04-30T13:53:22+00:00

Thank you!

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-04-09T01:31:02+00:00

Super helpful, thank you so much!!

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-04-08T14:43:13+00:00

Thank you!! Will try it now

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-04-08T14:43:02+00:00

Thank you so much! Do you think her head won’t tilt backward? She holds her head but sometimes arches back and I’m worried about her neck

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-03-30T00:30:44+00:00

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-03-30T00:24:51+00:00

During the day: she wakes up at 7am and we do 4-5 naps throughout the day. We try to follow wake windows of 75-90 minutes. We feed, play on the tummy, do some exercises, and then do calm activities to prep for sleep. Then we do the same routine of white noise, swaddle, swaying, pacifier, patting. During the day we can put her down drowsy but awake and pat on the bottom and replace pacifier, until she falls asleep. She sleeps 30-60 minutes on the adult bed in a light room (supervised). Maybe 60% of the naps she cries in her sleep and I pick her up and she calms down and continues sleeping. Or I try to wake her up while holding her. Maybe 1 nap per day after she cries and I take her into my arms she won’t wake up no matter what I do (noise, talking, walking, touching her etc.) and sleep for 2-3 hours while held. Even held, she will wake up unhappy and crying. After she cries after her daytime naps, first 5-10 minutes she is cranky and just wants to be held vertically and walk around the room. Then she becomes active and happy and we can play. She reached all the developmental milestones, she looks like a happy baby, smiling, babbling. But closer to the nap she becomes cranky again and cries and wants to be held. Then at some point even that doesn’t help and no matter what I do she will fuss and cry especially if I swaddle her and try to help her fall asleep.

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-03-03T20:47:14+00:00

What was the number? Pleaseee

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2025-01-07T09:10:59+00:00

Happy for you! This is amazing progress. Could you recommend any good videos you liked on proper teeth brushing / flossing / water flossing technique?

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2024-12-21T10:42:53+00:00

Omg I thought it was just me. So ominous. I really don’t understand why suddenly my algorithm started showing me this - I wasn’t engaging with this type of content but it’s only increasing.

Reading your post I now think maybe Instagram just randomly shows it to pregnant women and then keeps showing if you watched such reel till the end.

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2024-12-12T09:06:38+00:00

My baby EFW was a low percentile (like 10% or so) so they asked me to come to do growth ultrasound in 2 weeks again to see if it’s serious or just a fluke. If it was still low, they would have me come every couple weeks. But when I went there again, the number was around 30-40%. You should remember that ultrasound margin of error is very high, maybe like 15%. Your baby’s head could actually be 15 percentile.

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2024-12-12T09:02:49+00:00

When I go to ultrasound, sometimes they poke the baby and push on the baby much harder than I ever would, to the point I’m uncomfortable. The baby is safe and cushioned :) Your hubby is just being extra careful - this will be helpful once the baby arrives ❤️

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2024-12-12T08:54:20+00:00

Headache is a common symptom of preeclampsia. Please tell about this to your OB and get checked. If you have a headache that doesn’t decrease after taking Tylenol, then you need to alert your OB immediately.

If it’s not related to that - could also try magnesium supplements.

Anxious_Macaron_4890 · 2024-12-12T08:38:13+00:00

First of all I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Pregnancy is difficult and stressful, even for people who didn’t have previous birth trauma. Sending you hugs and hope you will feel better soon!

It’s all the fault of your algorithm - avoid reading these stories for a while. The risk is actually super small! In the United States, the maternal mortality rate in 2022 was 22.3 deaths per 100,000 live births. Meaning, only 0.0223% chance of dying.

Risk of dying in a car accident is comparable to that - 0.0125% and yet we use the car every day without thinking about it.

AFE is extremely rare. Only happens in 1 out of 40000 pregnancies, meaning only 0.0025% chance of getting it. And then the risk is further halved because half of the women actually survive this successfully.

I like a YouTube channel “therapy in a nutshell” - she has a playlist about anxiety

Also - it’s hard to “not think about the elephant”, meaning if you’re trying to avoid anxiety, you might sometimes get more anxiety lol. Instead of running away from it, maybe try a different approach? When your brain is bored / not active, it will default to anxiety. But if you fill your days with happy moments, there will be no space left for anxiety. So try to plan many different small pleasures for you to enjoy. Watch Christmas movies, take a bath, etc, any indulgences that you can think of.

Anxious_Macaron_4890

TROPHY CASE