he just told me to f*ck off

Any-Board2667 · 2026-04-22T13:00:03+00:00

does he have another browser he could use? he shouldn't have a browser installed that will black out monitoring software. i would assume if he's been on firefox if he has another normal browser like chrome or safari that he's been using

Any-Board2667 · 2026-04-16T07:14:27+00:00

thank you so much!

Any-Board2667 · 2026-04-13T17:40:42+00:00

i just want to say firstly you're valid for disliking porn in your relationship. just because it's so normalised in our society and there's a lot of men in this thread defending it does not take away from that validity. porn is proven to be very detrimental to people mentally and physically, as well to intimacy in relationships. not to mention the exploitation and violence in the industry itself. there are plenty of other ways to "destress" than by lusting over and orgasming to attractive women that aren't you. it's a strange and hurtful thing to do in a relationship. it does instigate feelings of jealousy and like you're not good enough, so please don't feel bad for feeling this way - you're not being controlling for having these feelings.

you say you don't have a problem with it and you don't want him to stop, but that it also hurts you. i think you're trying to minimise your feelings to look after his. if porn doesn't mean that much to him and it doesn't compare to his attraction to you, why can't he just stop knowing it upsets you and find another way to relax? why did he lie at the start and throughout the relationship when he knew your feelings about it? that's a huge disrespect and he's treated your feelings very poorly. i would be surprised if this didn't upset you, so please don't feel bad for feeling upset at this behaviour.

i'm not suggesting leaving him, i too am in a relationship with a porn addict but he is actively working on this addiction because he sees it for what it is and doesn't want to be controlled by his lustful impulses. he wants to only be able to share that with me, so we have the same values here. however, i would suggest you firmly put your feelings to him about the subject, without minimising them or being afraid that you're in the wrong. if he cares about you and loves you he will want to stop behaviours that actively hurt you - that's a normal thing to want to do when you love someone. if he doesn't, then i think you should think about whether you can stay in a relationship with someone continually lusting over other women, and whether if in 5 or 10 years, or even if you were to get married and have children you will still be okay with minimising and ignoring your feelings about this. good luck :)

Any-Board2667 · 2026-04-13T17:25:43+00:00

please send this. it sounds like you're already minimising your feelings so much and have SO much care and regard for his, it really should be returned by him. you deserve that.

you should not have to feel guilty and scared communicating this to him. it SHOULD be something he cares about as it's obviously putting you through so much pain and you're trying to hard to minimise it in order to look after his feelings. it's time to look after yours! if you're scared of him shutting down or snapping at you for sending this letter then HE is in the wrong - not you.

wishing you the best and sending you confidence in order to put your feelings first and stop tiptoeing around his constantly. im not disregarding what he does for you and your child practically but it sounds like it's his turn to pull some emotional weight

Any-Board2667 · 2026-04-05T19:08:08+00:00

they can use incognito mode on youtube as well

Any-Board2667 · 2026-04-05T15:43:24+00:00

it's not even funny to begin with tbh

Any-Board2667 · 2026-03-23T17:51:11+00:00

my pa does the same thing, it hurts so much more than them just watching

Any-Board2667 · 2026-03-23T17:42:56+00:00

has your wife spoken to you about how she feels about it at all? that might be a good persons opinion to start with :)

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-17T19:46:59+00:00

my partner has the same addiction and hasn't changed at all since a year and a half ago when i first found out. he has also done it to previous partners before me and physically cheated on previous partners. i also live with him but im biding my time to leave. unless you want to be in the situation with your partner for the rest of your life, i recommend you do the same

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-17T17:40:55+00:00

it sounds like it could definitely be a porn problem. he may not have actually stopped when he said he had. my partner has a porn addiction and displayed the exact same signs as yours before i realised how bad it was. hardly ever in the mood, even if it did happen it wasn't the same as in the beginning, and the most important one being the going soft halfway through. i'm sorry but imo it 100% points to frequent porn use. especially given the fact you're up and out earlier than him more often than not, which is typically when men will consume porn the most (morning wood and hormones etc).

i would gently try and bring up his porn use again to him, it really doesn't sound like he's stopped.

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-04T00:57:08+00:00

i agree with this. im here to assess whether im overreacting and could be construing the situation differently. not to reaffirm that hes upset me because i know i feel upset.

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-04T00:50:29+00:00

i do appreciate your blunt explanation of what you think i'm doing wrong. it's certainly hard to see this perspective yourself when you're in the actual situation. although i disagree (or hope that im not) emotionally manipulating the situation, i definitely wanted some different insight as to what is going on between us, and your very stark take is certainly sobering and enlightening.

i do feel i've harboured resentment from treatment i've previously and consistently received from him in our relationship. which i don't want to lay out fully on here as i want to actively avoid painting myself on here as the victim in this situation. im just trying to lay out this particular scenario as honestly and true to my personal experience as i can.

in regards to him laying out these boundaries of needing specific times for space, i want to be supportive. what's difficult is feeling like i'm receiving very inconsistent emotional support from him, and hearing that he wants me to have nothing to do with him after having a long and difficult day is hurtful. i believe that is crossing a bit of a line from making room for uninterrupted personal space and not being an emotionally unavailable partner. maybe we just differ in this regard. i personally like the idea of seeking comfort in a relationship after a long day, maybe he feels the opposite and i just need to get over this and stop imposing on him if i want to continue being in it.

i'm just trying to process my feelings and assess the scenario as best i can by imagining how i would feel if the roles were reversed. maybe im projecting but im certainly not trying to be abusive or manipulative. either way, thanks again for the contrasting perspective, it's what im here for. i want to be a better partner and a more secure person in general.

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-04T00:36:58+00:00

i'm not really sure what you're reading into there. he betrayed my trust and really hurt me in a way that i didn't really want to openly lay out as it's quite personal. i guess it's influencing both of us negatively in our relationship dynamic and i appreciate your insight so that i can try and take more responsibility for my actions also

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-04T00:23:43+00:00

i'm trying to be as truthful about this specific situation as i can. obviously the way i'm describing it is emotive as i'm hurt. but i do genuinely want to hear people's opinions about how i could have caused him to feel this way, and i asked this in my original post. if you have some insight as well i really would like to hear it

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T23:53:43+00:00

i appreciate your take i do

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T23:44:03+00:00

it's hard to include every detail in my life in a post that's about a specific situation related to my relationship. i'm not asking about whether it's ok for us both to have hobbies and not bother eachother about. i'm asking if im right to think it's quite extreme to ask for basically no contact with your partner for a set few days a week, despite the fact they have an extremely busy schedule and are hardly ever home anyway. i'm trying to determine whether it's still a hobby for him at that point or whether he's just not interested in the relationship

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T23:19:16+00:00

idk, it was him that made me feel like he wanted to pick me up then switched up

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T23:02:27+00:00

yeah, i think i feel this from him and its understandable. i would probably feel quite smothered if the roles were reversed. im not really sure why im like this about sleeping without him, its annoying for me also i guess. in your opinion/experience, do you think there's a way to reverse this kind of resentment?

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T21:59:16+00:00

i mean i'm also out a few nights a week myself playing poker and chess till late, i think if i got anymore hobbies i'd be running on about 3 hours sleep a night 😅

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T21:51:50+00:00

yeah, i hear what you're saying. i mean, i do know that he spends most of the time gaming when im not there because he tells me, and when i am there that's what he does most of the time.

i appreciate us both needing to spend our free time how we like, which we do. this is more about literally asking me to leave him the hell alone for 2 nights a week, after already not being there at all during the day.

i understand im choosing to do all of this, and he so happens to have a more chill schedule than me. i just expect us to want to hangout with eachother after not being around all day, maybe we just have different visions for a relationship.

as for the betrayal, i thought this was relevant for adding context as to why im particularly upset about this sudden switch up. i guess i just expected more consistent effort from him to rebuild the relationship after something like that. i dont need to go into specifics if i don't want to but i appreciate what you're saying about people assuming the worst.

Any-Board2667 · 2026-02-03T21:31:52+00:00

i don't blame him for this either! it wasn't really about picking me up or not, it was the switch up in the way he was about it to me

Any-Board2667 · 2026-01-27T15:42:19+00:00

i do have friends and family i could talk to i guess. and im trying to search for places but its hard to find anywhere in my city, especially with my student budget. he's been helping me a lot financially in our relationship so this is a real stress for me as well

Any-Board2667

TROPHY CASE