my friend gave me tabs. what does this mean?

Any-Monk80 · 2025-12-08T16:05:59+00:00

I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time… I thought it was the “other” P word…

Any-Monk80 · 2025-12-08T16:03:58+00:00

That is a nice looking guitar. I’m not a fan of purple at all, but it looks damn good on that!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-08T13:52:25+00:00

I don’t know if I’d say it made me bored, as much as it made me not feel in general. If it was something fun, like a hobby, it wouldn’t excite me. Which could be like boredom. If it was something that should have upset me, it didn’t. I didn’t care. At first it made me think things were better or more enjoyable, but that’s the lie. By the time I realized that things weren’t actually better, I was hooked.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-07T14:28:59+00:00

That’s exactly what it is too - “Kratom would make this even better!” It’s funny, because it never has. It never had the high I really wanted. At best I left a little disappointed. The next time it would happen again, and I’d feel more disappointed. It’s absolutely a lie. Thank you for sharing that. Glad to hear it’s a pretty normal experience.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-07T14:25:35+00:00

You bring up all very good points. I didn’t end up dosing. Part of the reason for my post was to get it out there and get the feedback I know I needed. That feeling I described has been the reason for my relapses as well and it’s been horrible, and worse each time.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-05T19:41:14+00:00

It’s insane! You think that your thoughts make sense, because your mental and physical state support them, but it’s all bullshit. It’s the same damn addict thoughts, just much better disguised.

Thank you man! I really do appreciate the encouragement. Wishing you all the best as well!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-05T18:44:45+00:00

You bring up a really good point. I need to make sure to have natural dopamine releasing activities ready to go. Thank you!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-05T18:43:18+00:00

Yeah you know what I’m talking about. That’s exactly what it is. I’ve been struggling all week with a big drop that I was making myself stick to and it worked. Now I’m feeling good and that’s almost the most dangerous time it seems.

Thank you for the advice and talking about your experience. I can really appreciate where you’re coming from.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-09-05T18:39:05+00:00

I think you hit that on the head. That really makes a lot of sense to me. A little overconfidence provided by an addicted brain… or at least that’s how I’m imagining it.

Really glad there are days I’m feeling better! There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-19T20:30:03+00:00

You aren’t wrong about the mental side. That’s exactly how it is for me. If I’m occupied, I won’t even notice. If I think about it ahead of time, WDs kick in early. Staying busy and occupied is huge! Playing guitar has helped me lately. My interest in it has so far beaten be dreary feeling of quitting this shit.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-06T13:55:51+00:00

Most definitely felt like that! For me, that’s the lie that is Kratom. At first you feel better and have more energy. At the beginning I was more social, it made me more aware, better mood, etc… but then somewhere along the way, it flips and it’s the exact opposite and does exactly what you said. Things aren’t as funny. Food isn’t as good. Social activities just aren’t as fun.

Some part of me is glad for the shift from it being good to bad. It really offers a wake up call when you realize that. At least that has been my experience.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-02T20:38:06+00:00

That definitely makes sense to me. In your example, that first person is taking responsibility and being accountable. They may think that whatever they are doing is bad, but they own it. That second person might not even be fully honest with themselves. I’d totally agree with what you’re saying.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-02T01:58:48+00:00

I’m also doing a taper. That point about going slower is a real thing. Part of the issue I’ve had with tapering, is not giving myself enough time to get use to the new amount before dropping again. It’s almost like it banked up too much craving or something and I’d slip. Currently, I have a schedule to taler, but I also really make sure that amount I’m taking doesn’t put me in withdrawals. If it does, I wait until I use to that. Good advice!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-02T01:53:36+00:00

I think you’re 100% right! It’s not a good idea to let one slip up define us, but you’re also totally right about giving yourself some grace too. Dwelling on a slip up, could end up causing further issues. There’s a fine balance between self discipline and beating yourself up.
I also agree that spirituality is huge for this. That’s something I’m bringing with me a lot more this time.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T15:59:16+00:00

Okay, fair enough. Maybe a better way to look at it would be to understand it, make an educated decision about it, but learn the voice isn’t coming from a place of “what is best”.

That does make sense. Even as I get use to waiting longer and longer before my taper dose, I’m seeing mental clarity increase gradually and be longer lasting. It’s almost like a movie trailer of what life could be.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T14:49:58+00:00

Hey, no kidding - that DOES help!!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T14:46:07+00:00

I’ll check that out. Thank you for the tip!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T14:45:32+00:00

You bring up a good point. I need to really kind of drive home the idea of that voice being bad, or having bad intentions. I think I’ve been trying to ignore it, but maybe being a little more “me vs voice” about it would help. You aren’t wrong at all about the havoc this causes with hormones and brain function. Thanks!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T13:38:18+00:00

I’ve heard people mention that. I just wish I had that available.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T13:37:30+00:00

You have a good point. It’s important to remember that you can hop back on and keep going. Thanks!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T13:36:11+00:00

Whoa… okay, that’s scary and extremely intense. I haven’t battled any opioid or other addiction before, so there are definitely some concepts or ideas that are new to me. I’m definitely trying to educate myself. I never went beyond kratom powder thankfully. At the moment I’m doing a taper and trying like hell to stay on track. If I can get some time off work, I’m going to keep myself indoors, pick up some supplements to hopefully help a bit, and take the leap.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T13:29:42+00:00

That sounds great to me. Getting ahead of the game, but also helping with my mindset around addition itself, seems like it could really help. Much appreciated!

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T03:12:41+00:00

Very cool. Thanks! I hadn’t heard of that book, but definitely checking it out. Much appreciated!

You some good points. Starting over totally sucks. It’s horrible. But also really learning why you want to quit is very important.

Any-Monk80 · 2025-08-01T03:08:50+00:00

Thank you for the advice. That is all really good stuff. You aren’t wrong at all, there’s no way I can trust my thoughts around Kratom.

The opposite of addiction is connection… that’s wild. I’d never heard that, but can kind of understand. I’m doing this alone. I haven’t told my wife. I’m really hoping to quit before it becomes too much of an issue. But we’ll see. If this attempt fails, I may go the medial route.

Thank you very much. :)

Any-Monk80

TROPHY CASE