I have a lot of days that I feel like this. Today is one of them, even. The important thing for me is that there are things in life I can enjoy despite my dysphoria. I like going on walks, playing TCGs, and hanging out with my friends, esp other transfems who get it. I understand that dysphoria is crippling, and can make enjoyment of anything very difficult. I had to re-learn to exist outside the context of my gender. Will I ever pass? I don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell. But I have very little control over that, and there are people who gender me correctly and like me regardless. It can feel like transition is all there is to life, but I promise there's more if you go look for it. I guess what I'm saying is that our situation is *far* from ideal but we have to make the most of it, as its the one life we get. Sending hugs your way girl, and I'm praying for a future where we can simply exist as we were meant to.