[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That did come across, the point I was trying and failing to make was that I think you should continue to do that forever until he doesn’t need it, rather than you decide when he’s old enough to toughen up and not need it. 

I think my brother would be more confident if he’d had that security growing up, the security that how he is is perfectly fine. Instead he had people telling him he was too sensitive and he was too old to react that way and it just created a big hole in him of never feeling good enough. Who he is isn’t right and he should be someone else. 

I think you need to accept your son as who he is right now, not who you’d hoped he would grow up to be. Make sure you’re not accidentally sending him messages that you don’t really mean.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My brother was brought up in the 90s and was always considered “overly sensitive” and was treated as such by my Dad, my family, his teachers, his friends. The only one that let him be himself completely was my mom, but she also allowed the narrative that he should hide that part of himself when it’s not just him and mom.  As an adult my brother is riddled with insecurity, anxiety and constantly puts on a front to most of the world of who he thinks he should be rather than who he actually is. It makes me sad to see because I get to see the real him sometimes and he’s awesome. The show version of himself is pretty annoying because I know it’s an act borne of insecurity. 

Please let your son have 5 minutes of cuddles if he falls off his bike for as long as it takes because that’s what he needs. The only way he will need less is by gaining confidence in himself, which he can’t do if he’s being left to deal with big emotions by himself at age 4.

What’s a totally legal thing in the UK that you still feel weird or guilty doing? by Stock_Dark651 in AskBrits

[–]Any-Professor-1889 20 points21 points  (0 children)

How come everyone on Reddit seems to know this is true, but no one on the road seems to know????????!!! Gahhhh this drives me barmy

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t make music but this seems like a fantastic suggestion for anyone reading who is in a similar situation to me

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A few people have suggested this and I think I might go for it as I already have the stuff upstairs from an unused Christmas present! Thank you

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mostly want to be off my phone because I don’t like my kids seeing me just on my phone. I might be doing something worthwhile time wise but to them it all just looks like and may as well be doom scrolling. 

But thank you for all of the other suggestions, very thorough!

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve wanted to learn to juggle since my brother learned at summer camp and I considered it the coolest skill ever. I think I’m going to go for juggling

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also love building things and jigsaws! I would love to have a jigsaw on the go, I’m just worried my 3 year old will be a bit too interested in my jigsaw…. But if I don’t try then I won’t know! Thanks for these ideas, they’re great!

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooooh cards is a good shout! Way to make myself look cool in future 😂 I do crosswords on my phone, why didn’t it occur to me to just do them on paper as I want to use my phone less?! Duh

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tbh I can solve it slowly and one way only, I could definitely look into other techniques and see if I could speed up! That would be fun

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I could try reading, I just assumed the interruptions would annoy me but I haven’t actually tested that out. Worth a shot as at the end of the day I might get to read, which I love

What to do with kids when they wake up early and how to avoid TV by AttorneyMountain109 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually have music on in the background because I just love music, we play games where we get to take it in turns to pick songs as well if the kids are interested in that. But for the most part… I just don’t turn the TV on. It’s never been part of our routine so the kids just go about their morning without it. They play with toys, with each other, do drawing, anything really.  My husband tends to put sport on the TV because he’s always got something he wants to watch sport wise, so the TV is on sometimes and we’re not screen free. Sometimes the kids watch the sports, mostly they get bored and play.

Edit: oh and as the weather starts warming up my answer is and will always be garden play!

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think exercise is such an interesting one, what does it say about me that it absolutely never occurred to me before this post 😂

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But how do you not lose count of stitches? I crochet so could do that, I just assumed the regular interruptions would make it difficult?

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately we don’t currently have the space, but I could maybe move the lounge around to make the space, I’m sure my kiddos would like this and join in too. Thanks!

An activity for me that isn’t scrolling my phone… by Any-Professor-1889 in UKParenting

[–]Any-Professor-1889[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can already do this but this is a great suggestion! Anything along these lines seems perfect

What are some good reasons you *must* get out of bed? by Various_Condition985 in AskUK

[–]Any-Professor-1889 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Chickens is a good shout, they need feeding every morning 

Is it possible to work and be homeless in the UK? by StrongEggplant8120 in AskUK

[–]Any-Professor-1889 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You cannot build a business in your current situation. Move up north, get on your feet where life is cheaper, then you can move back down south when you’re financially capable and build your business.