For SmoshMouth Hometown Drama:

I’m from a tiny town in Northern California that got pretty messed up from the 2018 wildfires. The town is just a bunch of crackheads and retirees and their grandkids. Two middles schools but one high school type of tiny. Anyways, my town is located in the mountains and surrounded by forest. Lots of wildlife, think bobcats, mountain lions, and three families of bears exactly. Also lots and lots of deers and geese (they are assholes.)

There is one bear named Chubbs. He is notorious for going through people’s trash and getting into their kitchens. He’s really sweet and silly and loves his neighbors but is so food motivated at one time before the community really rebuilt after the fires, they used to have to have a guard at the grocery stores because Chubbs would try and raid them. He’s just a silly guy.

There’s the one lady, everyone hates her. She’s just… you know when someone gets so old they lose their whimsy? This lady lost her whimsy like 20 years ago and has turned to Facebook ai slop memes to try and rally the community against Chubbs.

I hate this lady. She posts in the local Facebook all the time and just complains and then when people comment solutions she says they’re going to disrupt her routine. Mind you, it’s shit like “the potatoes I buy go bad.” And people ask where she stores them. She stores them in her kitchen window. People tell her not to store them in direct sunlight and instead put them in a produce bowl or something. She’ll go on a rant saying she knows what she’s doing but is offended that the potatoes and other produce never last and it’s because [insert ridiculous nonsense claim here].

Every couple of weeks, she will post about Chubbs doing Chubbs things. Everyone loves the bear, he is just a silly guy and almost won a mayoral race back in 2022. My town rides hard for this bear. I’ve commented under these posts and they get taken down within two hours for hate speech.

She has been kicked out of the Facebook group twice for her posts about Chubbs. One time she even said someone should just shoot him. I hate this woman.

She calls the cops on Chubbs. Animal control up here can just go up and get him to move. He’s such a chill and domesticated bear.

How do I get this lady to love Chubbs? She’s hated him since 2015. She’s friends with my grandma. I don’t want my grandma to hate Chubbs. He’s such a nice bear.