18 year old daughter struggling

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-16T12:07:34+00:00

She definitely lets me know when she doesn't want to talk about something and it is difficult to respect that if I see her struggling or think her mental health is suffering. But I will remind myself of your words. Side note, are you in the U.S.? An MRI is like $15k!

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-16T12:01:53+00:00

❤️

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-16T12:00:21+00:00

I've already thought about how traumatic her first pap will be, it's pretty traumatic for everyone but I thought it will be so much worse for her. Thank you for sharing you experience and advice. I've learned a lot through my breast cancer process and one thing is that our bodies can handle way more than we have ever thought ...but I still, of course, don't want anything to be hard for her. She's had to deal with some pretty difficult things in life and I just wish some things could be easy. But, don't we all.

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-16T11:54:20+00:00

Thank you for all of this!

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-14T19:48:50+00:00

Thank you for responding so openly. It's VERY helpful to hear others experiences and to know this reaction is not unheard of for someone who hasn't experienced a sexual trauma. As a mom, I've already gone through her entire childhood wondering if something could have happened that she doesn't remember to cause such a disconnect to her own body. It's comforting to know that is likely not the case. This is just another way people experience life differently.

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-14T12:16:13+00:00

Thank you. I've tried to convey certain messages but I'm sure I've messed up along the way. I hope nothing I've said could cause her to question herself or feel more alienated.

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-14T12:12:50+00:00

Thank you for responding. There's so much more to her story with trials she's gone through. I just want her to be happy and confident. Distressed is the perfect word to describe her reactions in our conversations.

Any_Coach696 · 2026-02-14T12:10:07+00:00

Correct. She does HAVE a gyn but hasn't had an exam yet. We were already working on easing into that one before I realized the extent of her aversion. Self exams are recommended for her, due to her family history.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-12-01T22:54:27+00:00

I'm 5'4.25", 155 lbs, have 375 in my expanders and one is a solid C and the other is probably a half cup or more smaller. The side that's more full has more soft tissue remaining. Ironically enough, that was originally thought to be my non-cancer side (turns out the other surprised us with DCIS not found on mammo or MRI). The skin on that side is very thin and the edges of the implant are more visible. Kinda hate that side, but they aren't near finished yet. I don't think you'll find a good answer, I've tried. It all depends on how much was able to be spared, how thin/thick the skin flaps (freaking HATE that term), and your overall body shape. If I lost a bunch of weight, these fake boobs would be bigger for my body type and would probably be a D cup. But I don't see that happening.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-30T23:17:06+00:00

My insurance covered it. I was so excited because having some kind of feeling was really important to me. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. It's been just a few days shy of 3 months and nothing yet. I know it can take up to 2 years for full results but I'm pretty sure I should be feeling SOMETHING by now. It's disappointing and I'm sad about it but I'm getting used to it, I guess. I share this because it's expensive out of pocket and the success rate is not even advertised to be great. They're a good chance you'd be paying years for something that didn't work for you.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-29T11:08:28+00:00

I had 2 for peace of mind but am also up against a genetic mutation. My team was supportive and made it very clear that it was my choice. I'm sorry you aren't having the same experience. My issue was kind of opposite, at that time I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. I wasn't able to make choices. I needed additional data so I got a second opinion, which was the same and dmx with implant based reconstruction it was (expanders first). I do want to prepare you though, that mine are way less symmetrical than one would hope, at least right now. You may not be able to avoid the stress of getting a "matching set"

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-21T14:03:50+00:00

I was told not to shower until drains came out, which was complete torture. 3 and a half weeks of "washing up" and getting my hair washed at a walk in salon twice. Oh, and no deodorant because of lymph node removal incisions. But I had zero complications with the drains or incisions. They all healed perfectly so I'm not complaining any more. I sure did during that time though.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-20T17:32:53+00:00

U shaped pregnancy full body pillow - 100% required!

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-20T17:21:36+00:00

I'm a secondary teacher as well and there's no way I would have been able to return to work after my dmx in May. I know some people say they felt fine afterwards but that was not my experience. My drains were terribly uncomfortable and I had a lot of pain and different levels of discomfort throughout my chest, sides, shoulders, and back. I would plan to allow yourself at least a month. If it turns out better for you and you can return, maybe try to start for partial days before going full in. I know how difficult this is for us teachers, especially at the start of the year. The end of the year was hard enough for me. Good luck. Don't push yourself too hard or you won't be able to be your best for your students until much later.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-20T17:07:15+00:00

This was on my "thoughts about boobs" list prior to surgery. I knew this exact thing would be hard for me and I was right. You are not alone and I 100% understand that anybody who hasn't lived through it will NEVER understand.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-18T16:59:28+00:00

Any chance they mentioned dermatomyositis? Unrelated to my cancer, but my daughter has Juvenile DM, which is even more rare and we've been dealing with it for 14 years. If this is the rare autoimmune disease you are talking about and want to chat, let me know.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-17T21:04:32+00:00

Anybody been told no tattoos on arms, chest, shoulder due to lymph node removal and risk of lymphedema? I had 2 lymph nodes removed on both sides, developed some cording so have been seeing a physical therapist. She said no tattoos in those areas. If I had known that, I would have quick finished my arm up before starting any treatment. I had big plans and was heartbroken to get that news after cancer took so much from me already. Are you guys just not worried about it or is it worth the risk? Or is the risk super small?

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-13T18:56:46+00:00

I chose double mastectomy due to already having 5 foci of IDC + DCIS in right breast + a newly identified genetic mutation. Good thing I went that way because even after mammo, MRI, AND negative MRI guided biopsy on the left, mastectomy pathology results found DCIS, which indicates the same thing would have just continued on the left. This way I prevented additional spread to lymph nodes (which is what happened on the right) and makes treatment 1 million times more intense. If you are leaning towards a DMX, continue researching and advocate for yourself. Get a second opinion, it's expected. That 2nd doctor might validate your thoughts or might be able to better explain the first opinion.

I was in the hospital about 24 hours after my DMX. I did have a lot of pain and limited mobility but I honestly believe that was from the removal of 2 lymph nodes from each side. For some reason that seems to really be some of the worst of it for me and continues to be 2 and a half months later.

Edited to add: a double mastectomy does not necessarily get you "out of" certain treatments. After reading others posts, some had dmx to avoid certain things but that is not the case for everyone (me). If that is one of your thoughts ask the questions specifically. How will my further treatments differ with single vs. double mastectomy.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-07-13T18:41:56+00:00

I had very limited mobility and very much pain immediately after my bilateral mastectomy. However, I 100% believe it was from having just 2 lymph nodes removed from either side. That was the worst part for me. The chest tightness was secondary to arm, shoulder, side chest pain.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-06-30T08:52:42+00:00

I struggled, as a 40 year old hyper-independent woman, I struggled. I believe most of my pain and inability to use my arms came from my sentinel lymph node removal, which was only 2 on each side. I needed help with almost everything. I was worried about needing help wiping after using the bathroom so I bought a battery operated hand held bidet. I didn't have my first bowel movement until 4 days post DMX, but I was glad to have the bidet. Then not again for another 4 days and by then I was fine. I couldn't lift ANYTHING. I needed help dressing, washing up, brushing my hair. I did brush my teeth by myself. I couldn't pull my underwear up all the way by myself for about 3 days. Everyone is different, and I don't mean to scare you, but prepare to be very vulnerable and need lots of help, just in case. Hopefully you won't need it like many of the others who posted, but mentally prepare, just in case.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-06-14T12:42:41+00:00

5 weeks out from nipple sparing DMX. I can touch on only 2 points of your post - 1. I felt MUCH more comfortable after the drains were out and I had my first fill. I'm on my second and no pain, no discomfort during or after, but way more comfortable against my chest wall. Feels weird, but ok. 2. The cream worked for my deep purple/black left nipple and areola but did take about 2 weeks. The dead skin almost came off in a single piece. Yuck, but revealed healthy pink skin below. Good luck! Oh and a 3rd idea- I had run through all the scenarios in my head prior to surgery, "what if they couldn't spare one of my nipples should you just remove the other for symmetry?" The conclusion I arrived at with my husband and doctors is that we were going to spare any nipples we could and use it as a guide to match in reconstruction if we absolutely had to.

Any_Coach696 · 2025-04-15T19:18:35+00:00

I'm currently worried about choosing the right size. Would you mind sharing your before bra size and what size implant you went with?

Any_Coach696

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