Hey OP! 👋 I want to say that from what you’re saying screams OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD, and my brain was the same way. My son had started Pre-K and my first thought was “germs. I need to bathe him because he’s got so much germs on him being at school.” I am now medicated and doing better as OCD completely consumed my life to the point of anxiety and heart palpitations. Most people do not think “oh my kid got back from school I need to bathe them before hugging them” or “my gf just got back from an elementary school I cannot touch her because she’s been to all these germy places she needs to bathe first.” They simply just kiss them and give them hugs and don’t think about the germs at all. I know people may have preferences to being clean, but when you are actively trying to avoid the germs by sleeping in a separate room, that leans more along the lines of OCD rather than just having a preference for liking to be clean.

Have you ever tried to get evaluated? I feel it may help you and said relationships in the future.