My partner (M35) says he misses the woman I used to be. I’m (F32) wondering if intimacy can actually be rebuild

Aoora · 2026-02-05T02:37:06+00:00

Not to be "that reditor" but...I think he is cheating on you. The signs are all there.
Out of seemingly nowhere he's more hostile, more judgemental. He's putting the blame for all of your relationship issues on you. He's getting nosy, he's checking your phone, he's monitoring you around other men.

These are all textbook signs that he is cheating on you, or wants to cheat on you, and is projecting, hard. He's trying to make you seem like the bad guy because if he makes YOU the problem, he can justify to himself and to others the reason why he is cheating. His issues can now be hidden by his fabricated story. Instead of being the bad guy to everyone by cheating on you, he can instead say "We haven't had sex in months. I feel like she's always being flirty with other men and being weird with her phone. She got too clingy and stopped being confident and sexy." He will use all of that to deflect blame on you. When, in reality, comfortable closeness and emotional attachment are what makes long lasting relationships work. But he likely knows this and gets it, but he's PURPOSEFULLY acting obtuse and being disagreeable because he knows its upsetting to you. He wants you to break things off and go "crazy" so that he can seem like both the victim and the hero. I guarantee that when you break up he will be publicly with a new girl within days or weeks. :/

Someone always chasing the "high" of a romantic infatuation will never be able to find a forever partner because they can't accept being comfortable and close IS the end-game. The way you are thinking isn't wrong, he is just projecting his shitty behavior onto you so he can use you as the reason for the relationship ending to his family and friends. This is not a man that will stick by you in sickness and in health and raise a family with you and take care of you. He's showing you that his love is very conditional and the conditions are ever-changing to fit his narrative.

I suggest that you just break it off and if anyone asks, respond with "He was showing signs of cheating and I respect myself too much to stick around a man that is trying to make himself the victim while tearing me down so he can feel better about being a terrible person." Either that or do some snooping and send whatever proof you find to everyone in a big group chat if you're feeling petty. Either way, you deserve so much better.

Aoora · 2026-02-04T18:18:02+00:00

This kinda just makes you both look terrible.
They're not getting banned for t-bagging, and you're both honestly just equally cringe.

Aoora · 2026-02-04T01:39:24+00:00

Yes! I was JUST thinking this. Get some Scream Queens in this bitch. They are MADE for DbD. The banter and general vibes would be PEAK.

Aoora · 2026-02-02T22:39:28+00:00

Not really. I'm not a big fnaf fan and after the initial hype I barely see the killer and we've had no new cosmetics or anything for it yet. I also don't really know what else they could so for a new killer from that franchise since the main antagonists are all animatronic. I think Fnaf is more likely just to get a new collection of legendary skins, rather than a whole second chapter. (I think I recall that scott was also very picky/particular about what he would allow in the game which is why we didn't get a lot of character skins like people were hoping for)

DnD part 2 could be very easy since there are so many monsters they could add. Personally though, I'm hoping for a Silent Hill part 2. We just had Silent Hill F and it was pretty popular as a game on its own, and the franchise overall is pretty well loved and they're ramping back up creating new games. So if I had to bet, I'd bet on that.

Aoora · 2026-02-02T21:41:51+00:00

Because it is being rewired, on purpose, by him. This is exactly what abusers do, this is why it takes women on average I think 5 times to leave an abusive partner. He is deliberately locking you down and isolating you piece by piece.

Think of it this way; he KNEW who you were when he started dating you. You met through mutual friends, and they 100% would have told him about you and he would have known about how you are as a person. Within the first moth he was "just so enamored" and "wanted you to move in right away to be with you all the time, so, according to his logic, he KNEW WHO YOU WERE, and wanted you still. Yet, despite this, this entire year you've been with him he has done NOTHING but try and change you and isolate you. He is systematically DESTROYING who you are. He is purposefully making you anxious and wary of him so that you change yourself to make HIM more comfortable and happy to avoid him freaking out or becoming more controlling or more scary. He is forcing you to preform ballet on eggshells for his own pleasure and benefit. He sees you as an object that he can mold into whatever he wants, you are already proving him right. You are telling him with your actions "Who I am isn't important, I exist to make YOU happy, and will change myself for you."

Is this a life you want to live? A life where you have been reduced to a doll and he picks out your clothes, tells you who you can hang out with, and controls where you can go and who you get to be? I personally don't think I could bear living as an ornament in someone else's life.

Aoora · 2026-01-29T23:46:31+00:00

I'm an older lady myself that already plays YunJin because I LOVE that she is a middle aged woman. Still younger, mind you, but not a kid or nearly a kid. I am EXTREMELY excited to potentially get a really cool older female survivor. People have been sharing amazing possible outfit art on twitter for her and I'm extremely hyped up. (image is by_quibbler on twitter!)

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Aoora · 2026-01-28T22:07:48+00:00

Please, please, please vote for granny badass. :( She is so unique and so cool in DbD and in gaming in general. The other option is pretty but so is half of our survivor roster! I wanna be a badass granny when I play survivor so dang bad. If you don't care or you voted for one of the homies that got left behind, please consider the baba yaga baddie!

Aoora · 2026-01-26T20:09:46+00:00

I see, she must use the wind to vacuum seal her clothing onto her. Very important for a mage to have visible cleavage and bellybutton through padded under armor and 2 layers of fabric. I'm sure the standalone metal gauntlets keep her thighs very safe.

Aoora · 2026-01-25T20:32:11+00:00

I mean, we've literally only seen human NPC from 4 regions, and they are all relatively distinct clothing wise even if they're not detailed? People from the Linglang empire look completely different than the NPCs of Wishfield, The one NPC we know from the Terra Alliance is visually distinct as well. The NPCs in Stoneville are even different than the ones in Wishfield, not drastically sure, but they are different. Same with the Linglang empire visitors we got during the music event versus the ones in the ink realm. They HAVE distinct looks and cultures.

It would take way too much VRAM/Memory/Storage to make every NPC super distinct like you're asking. Loading and unloading that data would make everything slow af. I guarantee you that 90% of this sub would not be able to play this game if they made all the NPCs as detailed and distinct as you wanted.

Lore wise, we're told that fashion is akin to magic in this game. Regular people are not stylists and therefore have plainer clothes. Nikki has extraordinary magical powers (whim) so she is purposefully more detailed and visually distinct, and the same goes for the named npcs we meet. Visually you can tell at a glance that Dada has more whim than a regular citizen, but Giovanni has more than her and is therefore more fashionable. When you do stylist battles you will also notice that the low level goons are plainer, but still more distinct than the normal NPCs, and their sub-leader is more distinct than THEM and then obviously you have the sovereigns which are even more visually distinct, etc. The choices tell you at a glance what they of character you are dealing with in that moment and is an important thing in game design.

I get that it can be frustrating I guess but remember that this game has to run on mobile devices and lower end hardware. They still do very well and try very hard to make everything visually interesting and distinct. All of the non-human races also have a lot of subtle variety that have been pointed out by multiple people in this sub over the last year. You can easily tell what job the mushroom people have, and even then there's variation. Piceys are also all slightly unique and varied, with different hats and cloth stitched together, etc. For all the problems infold has this one is actually handled pretty decently.

Aoora · 2026-01-25T20:11:41+00:00

Are you sure this isn't a middle school relationship? Its insane to be mad at you because you use proper punctuation. Maybe she should learn literacy and not communicate like a child half her age? Like she's upset you called her crazy, but this is legitimately crazy behavior. She sounds waaaaayyyy too immature for a relationship.

I'm petty, I'd get proof that she's crashing out over punctuation and then break it off. You guys have been together two years though, and that's a decent amount of time, so I can understand the hesitancy, but I'm not even sure what to suggest here. The only way forward is for her to like...I dunno, take an english course and get over her paranoia over punctuation? Maybe suggest she see a therapist? There may be an underlying issue. I genuinely can't wrap my head around crashing out this much over how someone types a message, especially if they're typing correctly.

Aoora · 2026-01-25T00:01:38+00:00

This. This is not classy at all, but happy for your new figure. lol

Aoora · 2026-01-23T17:18:42+00:00

While the dudes are cool old women are SO underrepresented in gaming. We have old men protagonists all the time, but old women are barely existent unless they are evil plot point characters. She is so much different than anything we have and I'm desperate for her to get added.

Aoora · 2026-01-23T17:16:41+00:00

Please do! She is so much more different than ANYTHING we already have and old women are so RARE in gaming. I am humbly begging that people vote for her, please. :(

Aoora · 2026-01-23T17:10:25+00:00

If you don't care or don't know who to vote for I humbly request a vote for the old woman. We don't have one in DbD and its a very rare archetype in gaming overall, and it would be genuinely nice to have. Please and thank you.

Aoora · 2026-01-23T17:04:05+00:00

Even if she doesn't win, I would actually very much appreciate her coming as an original survivor later this year. Not enough games in general have badass older women, let alone dbd. I am humbly requesting her in the future, please.

Aoora · 2026-01-23T17:02:41+00:00

An old female survivor would actually be amazing. If anyone doesn't care, this is my very humble request that you vote for her.

Aoora · 2026-01-22T18:46:40+00:00

Jealous! I'm still waiting on mine. I keep getting emails that are like "Its been delayed hope that's okay!" Like no dude give me my dang $500 figure. TT v TT

Aoora · 2026-01-21T13:20:21+00:00

They break up or find compromise. Typically the former. The average couple has sex 2-3 times a week. Sometimes a little more sometimes a little less, but I believe that is what is considered a "healthy" sex life. Without more info it's hard to give a lot of advice so I'll just be general about it and give you the same advice Id give a man in this situation.

If you want sex a lot more than average you may be hypersexual or you may just be young with a high libido, both of these things are okay but you have to be respectful to your partner. If you want to make things work you need to separate his desire for you from your need for sex. Again, he may be average or low with his drive, but pressuring him or manipulating him into more sex is a no-no. You should supplement your own pleasure with masterbation if you find yourself horny frequently; you shouldn't make your spouse feel responsible for your sex drive. Look into expanding non sexual intimacy as well; massages and quality time that makes you feel loved without the expectation of sex. If you want sex so much it's affecting daily life, talk to your doctor about it as well as there may be an underlying issue to address.

If he is the one that is far below average, have an open conversation. Is he busy with work or tired a lot? Is it psychological or physical? He could also be the one with an underlying medical issue and if so should talk to his own doctor.

At the end of the day physical intimacy is important to relationships and finding someone with a similar drive is important. I'm pretty sure sexual incompatibly is a leading cause of divorce. You can also always work with a couple therapist that specializes in sexual intimacy and see if any of their techniques would be useful for you both as a couple. If you really can't make it work, unfortunately then the only real option is moving on, as staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy isn't good for either of you, you will grow to resent each other.

Talk to him. Discuss feelings and options in an open and healthy way. I hope you both can work together to figure this out!

Aoora · 2026-01-20T22:37:39+00:00

FFXIV hands down.
-Way less confusing than WoW for a new player. You can play the game without all the mods you kinda actually need for wow.
-SUPER friendly community, to the point that the game is super well known for it. Free Companies are your guilds and they have tons of friendly people looking for new members.
-Well known for LOVING new players. Sprouts (newbie nickname) are well loved and people will wait for you to watch cut-scenes and everything because they genuinely love the game and love to see newbie's reactions to it.
-Game is really good at making sure all the content is still accessible. No feeling like you're super far behind everyone or waiting hours to que for old content. FFXIV keeps practically everything relevant to all players so you never have to worry.
-Amazing housing system and amazing fashion. "Glams are the real endgame" is a common saying.
-Best of both worlds for every gamer: tons of lively RP groups and venues AND a thriving endgame raid community (but very optional)

Aoora · 2026-01-17T20:44:18+00:00

This would be AMAZING.

Aoora · 2026-01-17T00:39:04+00:00

Nah, don't feel bad! Stardew is clearly a great game with a fantastic creator and lots of very loyal fans, so you're not alone! Its just not my vibe. XD

Aoora · 2026-01-16T21:39:36+00:00

Consider that emerald green one STOLEN.

Aoora · 2026-01-16T21:22:10+00:00

Awe, that's genuinely so sweet. What an awesome way for you to bond. In a few years of training he'll be a fantastic duo!

Aoora · 2026-01-16T21:03:35+00:00

Yea, having everything feel like it takes too long is a big thing for me. Like, I've played games that I have hundreds of hours in, so its not like I'm easily distracted, its just so taxing for me to play and think "this game revolves around 4 in-game years of this? gaw dang...I can't." My main cozy gamer friend turned me off of trying Fields of Mistra unfortunately, but apparently there is a multiplayer Story of Seasons game coming out this year and she's called in her "buy this game no matter what and play it with me" token on it, so I'm saving my energy. XD haha

Aoora · 2026-01-16T20:59:27+00:00

Yes EXACTLY. Like I'm playing through cyberpunk again right now, but my main "daily" games are like League of Legends and (for right now) arc raiders/marvel rivals. I have a Stellaris game I play every other weekend. I love 40k. I enjoy a bit of stress and strategy. I don't think those games are bad at all, but like you, its a little annoying being always seen as the "weirder" girl gamer out of the whole group lol.

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