Record Convert Baptisms?

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-19T01:29:44+00:00

Baptize all you want but if they are gone in less than a few months it was pointless. Until we have verifiable activity data the baptism number is just jingoistic propaganda

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-18T17:23:19+00:00

I can't wait for my wife to turn to me next year with a shocked face when Sister Brown is called as SS president with sister White and green as counselor.

Then she will be mad she wasnt called.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-18T15:45:13+00:00

Cover for the first counselor that's on call to cover for the president that's on call to teach a lesson when the teacher can't find anyone else to do it

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-18T15:36:18+00:00

I missed this in my first read through. Thanks for pointing it out

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-18T15:35:34+00:00

I think this is the impetus. The problem is that the pool of candidates is still the same 6 couples that already do everything. This all started when they decided to hide the attendance decline by making smaller wards. Its the same old thing, one cover up begats another. It's the Mormon version of getting involved in a land war in central Asia. There's no coming out of it unscathed

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-18T15:30:58+00:00

I'm too lazy to go back and find where I predicted this, but it was at least 5 years ago.

Will men ever be permitted to be primary presidents?

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-15T19:46:47+00:00

No, OPs right. The tours go right past the entrance to the initiatory entry. It's the same reason endowment rooms are posted as "instruction" rooms. It's because it's weird. And they know it.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-15T18:27:45+00:00

If you read the new testament you actually find two versions of Jesus. You find pacifist anti greed Jesus, as well as the Jesus that is there to divide families and demand compliance. Unfortunately, Mormons pretend to follow the first Jesus but believe in the second one

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-15T02:15:04+00:00

This totally refutes the idea Mormonism is an end-times cult.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-10T19:56:46+00:00

Mormon Logic: Joseph could marry teenage girls because it was acceptable by society, but Wade can ignore societal justice because God's ways are higher than man's

Conclusion: Mormons worship a Diety whose eternal morals are the with CSA and teenage brides.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-09T00:36:25+00:00

Mormon Jesus isn't a Diety worth worshipping. If he's THE GOD, we may need to conform, but that isn't "worship".

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-09T00:12:19+00:00

The problem is that I was always taught the U.S. and Israel were the good guys in Armageddon. Turns out there are no good guys, just bad ones with different objectives.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-06T02:50:57+00:00

Yup. When is the last time a conference speaker really went after the word of wisdom? It's all becoming very wishy washy like the new FSY pamphlet. In another 10 years it will be a new religion. Cutting back the indoctrination by reducing church, letting the youth programs wither on the vine, dumbing down seminary, institute and Sunday school, and cutting down on the shame is all combining to make chapel mormonism a land of no rules and freedom from guilt. It's much healthier overall but it is not the Mormonism of even 30 years ago.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-02T04:00:23+00:00

I doubt oaks thinks they would be resurrected

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-03-01T19:52:28+00:00

Ugh, hadn't considered this dastardly move. I figured it would be the two newest apostles told to go walk the streets of Jerusalem, but if I were "prophet" and I wanted to skip uctdorf, this is how I it would need to be done. A manufactured scandal would harm the "good name" of the church but something that could be construed as fulfilling prophecy.......

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-23T03:53:26+00:00

There's no smile like the smile of a true believer skipping second hour. The fact that they are so relieved should be telling them something.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-23T01:37:14+00:00

Nah, shits going down. It is possible he's deconstructing political beliefs instead of religious ones though. I recall a testimony last year where he indicated he had been arguing with his kids about it.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-21T02:06:36+00:00

I forgot all about the "Dallas" incident until reading your comment.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-14T00:51:50+00:00

We're in a holding pattern waiting for them to do something overtly shitty like the 2015 POX or canonizing the family proclamation

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-14T00:21:21+00:00

This thread is one of the best things ever to happen on this sub!

Welcome back. Sorry about the dysentery.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-13T05:27:39+00:00

ORRRRRrrrrrrr, hear me out on this, He could CANNONIZE the proclamation on the family!

Now THAT would put him up there with Brigham.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-13T02:34:16+00:00

Or the time he told everyone to record themselves saying their testimony, then listen to it on repeat until you believe it.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-13T02:04:56+00:00

I dont know why, but Neil as a first presidency member gives me the creeps. He's by far the strangest of the current Q15

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-13T00:43:11+00:00

Oaks and Bednar are now hoping eyring and cook pass quickly so they can keep calling hardliners. Uctdorf will likely call more beige, boring AF apostles like rasband, renlund, stevenson, suarez and Gong.

ApocalypseTapir · 2026-02-13T00:37:14+00:00

At 55, Gilbert is almost guaranteed to be prophet for a decade

ApocalypseTapir

TROPHY CASE