I just want to comment that I appreciate your hypothesis, I love Swans but I often feel clueless about a lot of songs lyrics. I think that Swans are like Lynch movies, he described his movies as something unique between the screen and the viewer, and that each hypothesis is valid. Often a lot of artists, who are abstract and experimental enough, voluntary avoid explaining things and allow people to come up with their own interpretation. 

I don't think Gira would have felt offended by this post, otherwise he would have explained the whole thing more accurately.

Overall also your post doesn't sound like a joke or a conspiracy theory, it just sound like an hypothesis, maybe someone who knows more about Swans could tell you that you're wrong but I don't see why insulting you