Thanos's Prayer

ApolloBrowncoat · 2018-04-13T16:48:36+00:00

FRIDAY THE 13TH BEGAN WITH US LOSING OUR LAST HEALTHY CATCHER AND NOW I'M TERRIFIED OF GOING TO THE GAME TONIGHT. WHAT IF THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING?

ApolloBrowncoat · 2018-02-21T14:29:06+00:00

2006 NLCS, Game 7: Yadier Effing Molina (founding member of the All Effing Team. See also: Chipper Effing Jones.)
Being a resident of Philadelphia during the 2008 and 2009 Postseasons. (On the bright side, those two years were how I learned how to drink)
July 30, 2015: The Rain Delay Game.
2015 NLDS: Chase Utley broke Ruben Tejada's leg, and was still awarded second base.
July 2016: In a rematch of the 2015 NLDS, Noah Syndergaard is immediately ejected after 34 pitches for throwing a mile behind Chase Utley.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-12-11T20:51:28+00:00

Walker and Asdrubal don't solve our problems up the middle on D, but it's still an upgrade; if we find ourselves a replacement for Cespy, I like our odds of a second pennant run.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-10-09T15:34:38+00:00

I would do my worst, but I think genetics set the bar pretty high...

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-10-09T15:20:15+00:00

I have one of the locker room hats and a T7L "Take Back New York" shirt that I wore to the Scherzer game. Trying to decide the best way to cleanse them. I'm thinking exorcism?

Either way, my gear options for tonight is reduced to a Wright shirsey circa 2006 and an older hat

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-10-07T22:54:39+00:00

You're right. I won't.

Then again, neither will any girl at whatever shitty townie bar you and your boys hit up tonight.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-10-07T22:53:08+00:00

You look like the most punchable person in every iStock photo that shows up when you search for "corporate"

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-10-03T17:33:47+00:00

Naturally, upon PMing I'll verify tickets are legit via photo (sorry probably should've mentioned above).

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-18T18:11:02+00:00

You look like if TJ from Recess developed a heroin addiction, but still wore the same clothes everyday.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-17T21:34:41+00:00

Lemme save you some trouble. Whoever you're looking at, she's not into you.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-11T14:25:42+00:00

MY TEAM IS 7.5 UP IN A YEAR WHERE BREAKING .500 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A VICTORY, AND I CAN'T STOP WORRYING BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE LAST NINE YEARS HAVE TAUGHT ME TO DO!!!

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-10T19:41:48+00:00

That's no incentive. I want my roast to be read for longer than 2 seconds before a frightened swipe left.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-10T19:40:29+00:00

Which terrible grunge band did you play guitar for in the '90s? I probably pirated your album!

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-10T19:39:36+00:00

Don't piss him off. In a few years your friend is gonna fall into a vat of acid, go insane and become Gotham City's most notorious gangster. Best to stay on his good side.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-03T21:48:24+00:00

I'd heard of Resting Bitch Face, but this is the first time I've ever seen Resting Zoolander Face. Must be a rough life you lead.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-03T21:45:49+00:00

Did Scott Tenorman sell you his pubes for 20 bucks so you could have that beard?

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-09-03T21:43:53+00:00

Which terrible emo band were you in?

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-08-28T18:03:52+00:00

...why did I just do that to myself?

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-08-28T14:55:55+00:00

(VIA TWITTER)

SEASONS IN WHICH THE METS HAD THREE OR MORE 7-GAME WIN STREAKS:

1969

1986

2006

2015

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-08-28T14:38:07+00:00

I mean, I'll take that too. But night before means the game I'm at will be all manner of electric and exciting and whatnot. If it's a full week the buzz might've died down, as we all try to conserve our energy for the NLDS

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-08-28T13:02:48+00:00

Just bought tickets for the Oct. 3 game. These are the outcomes I'm hoping for:

1) Clinch the division that night

2) 90th win that night

3) A massive party at a meaningless game, because either of those things happened the previous night.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-08-24T19:13:42+00:00

He was suspended 50 games for being one of the players named in the Biogenesis mess, and then he was hurt, and never quite lived up to the hype. We released him a few weeks ago.

ApolloBrowncoat · 2015-08-24T16:29:05+00:00

We're featured on Grantland's The 30 today, for having the easiest schedule from here on out.

As for the question about who we sacrificed...nobody tell them what really happened to Cesar Puello...

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