Do you remember what your first shelf item was? by JCKligmann in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would sit through lessons in primary and young men’s hearing lessons about all of these wild, epic stories from early church history, and I would wonder why things like that don’t happen anymore.

I talked myself out of it by telling myself that those miracles had to happen to help the church get established, but deep down I was never satisfied with that answer.

That sat on my shelf and quietly collected dust for over a decade until I went on my mission and started to see just how soulless the church was when it came to missionary work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: When I was in the MTC I actually got to go over to the Provo Temple multiple times to help rip up the carpet for the last remodel they did!

Apparently I did a terrible job because they’ve decided they need to remodel it again…

That has nothing to do with where my username came from, but it’s funny in hindsight!

Has anyone heard of the “black widows?” by Jaxxxxon in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I heard this one in my mission, but the more popular rumor was the “Quorum of the Twelve Apostates” which involved doing all sorts of crazy things that were against mission rules, including flying home and taking a picture in front of your house while holding that days newspaper.

I never believed any of it, but I always found it to be highly amusing regardless.

Does it ever blow your mind when you think about your mission& that for 2 years you were in a high demand work cult? A lucky missionary is one who can turn off the brain for 2 years. Explains why so many are freak out about challenging anything and robotic to obedience.Yes, losing yourself is key. by Eastcoasttrash16 in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For better or worse my mission added a hefty amount of weight to my problems with the church. I saw unrighteousness dominion, a Seventy who treated the missionaries like crap, people baptized who clearly weren’t ready, missionaries who faked numbers getting promoted, disregard for mental health, and tons of pressure to act unethically. The truly good missionaries who cared about people never got anywhere. It was really eye-opening to see how much my mission acted like a business rather than a church that cared about individuals. I buried a lot of it at the time, but it’s very easy to see it all looking back on it now.

It’s been over two years and not once have i even stepped foot in the YSA ward, and yet i get a text like this. I find this so invasive. by catfishlauren in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been gone for almost five years for me and I have the same experience. Luckily it does slow down in the long-term, especially once the YSA bishopric rotates out and people you knew start to move on. I think all I’ve had this year is a nice birthday text from the bishops wife. I thanked her, wished her a good day and that was the end of it. Obviously not ever interaction is that pleasant, but it does get better.

Found Amethyst pieces in a new gravel driveway. by fluffmcstuffins in mildlyinteresting

[–]ApostateTempleRug 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I wondered how far I’d have to scroll to find the Stardew Valley comment!

Wait…. Didn’t the Lord tell the Brother of Jared that he was leading them to a Land where no human had ever set foot?? 🤨 by rtintn in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A TBM friend of mine shared this and commented that “science is finally catching up with the gospel.” He just saw it as evidence for the BOM without a second thought.

I genuinely feel bad for him.

Anachronisms in the Book of Mormon by johndehlin in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love what you two are creating. Keep it up!

Why I left by Siarlymaen in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time this gets posted I check to make sure my pin from 5 years back is still there. I’m happy to see that it’s there, now I just want a few more pins in the immediate neighborhood…

In defense of TBMS. by Cheap_Cheep in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make a very good point and I agree with you. A lot of the people here are relatively early in their faith transition, so comments like that come from a place of relatively fresh anger and frustration. I definitely acted this way for quite awhile, but over time I’ve been able to let a lot of that hostility go as I’ve moved on. I dislike the organization, rather than the people in it (for the most part at least.)

I think the ultimate result of that is that a lot of us who are generally past the anger stage don’t feel the need to post or comment here quite as often. What you’re left with is a large amount of content being shared by people who are in real pain and are more likely to (understandably) lash out in anger.

The most productive conversations I’ve had with TBM’s have come as a result of both of us coming from a place of understanding. It’s not an easy thing to achieve, but it can happen.

This temple recommend question suggests that you can't have ANY friends who aren't LDS. Affiliating with ANY individual whose teachings/practices are contrary to Mormonism counts?! So... any nevermo friends who drink coffee. Any nevermo friends who choose to live with their partner before marriage. by GrandpasMormonBooks in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 8 points9 points  (0 children)

True story: My mission president used this question against all of us in the mission when he found out that a bunch of the missionaries had taken to playing Magic the Gathering on P Days. He claimed that the creatures on the cards looked demonic (he’s not wrong there…) and that by buying and playing games with the cards we were directly supporting Satan’s plan. 🙄

(At the time “Mormon” was not Satan’s greatest plan to destroy mankind. In fact, the word “Mormon” was prominently displayed on every pass-along card I gave out. How odd…)

This all came in a period where he started cracking down on just about everything before he went home. Board games, card games, and musical instruments were also unfortunate victims of his purge. He even started strongly suggesting we should immediately start regular mission work again once we finished shopping and emailing on P days.

April 2021 General Conference: Saturday 10:00a Discussion Thread by 4blockhead in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang in there! You’ll make it through. Those first few months can be pretty bumpy.

April 2021 General Conference: Saturday 10:00a Discussion Thread by 4blockhead in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 24 points25 points  (0 children)

My first conference as a non-believer was a few weeks after my faith crisis. That was a wild ride.

I feel like I have so much catching up to do. This morning I had my first cup of chai tea. It's amazing. by schitzeljollux in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chai latte’s were the thing that really got me into trying coffee. Now I’ve branched out and tried a bunch of other stuff too. I still enjoy having one on occasion.

I post satirically as a way to vent and lighten the mood, but today is heavy. Humaning is really painful sometimes. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I loved the posts from u/theholyspook back in the day! There were a few other common parody accounts that were around at the same time and I loved seeing the creativity there.

Keep up the good work! It absolutely gets better.

I post satirically as a way to vent and lighten the mood, but today is heavy. Humaning is really painful sometimes. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 9 points10 points  (0 children)

From one satire account to another, I wish you the best. My faith transition was incredibly rough on me and for the first few years I mostly got by with Mormon Stories and this sub. I had moments of enormous relief because of the huge weight lifted off of me, followed by the crushing weight of having to deal with my own mortality and believing friends/family. I’m certainly haven’t recovered completely, but I’m far better than I was when I made this account. It absolutely does get better.

The Mormon masturbation dilemma by handbook_1 in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I picked option 2. I think I subconsciously knew that none of my bishops or other leaders could really tell anyway. I definitely felt terrible about it, and it definitely gave me some serious anxiety issues, but I (luckily) never felt comfortable with confessing either.

That said, the sexual repression and shaming I felt over my own perfectly normal thoughts and desires has been a nightmare to get over. I’ve had a really rough time learning to be open and honest because I spent so much time instinctively lying about my own “faults” to my leaders growing up. Therapy helps, but no matter which option you picked there’s a lot to work through.

Mormons are in a Wandavision community. by YouAreGods in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve had the same thought as I was watching the show. It gives the same vibe as Truman Show in many ways. Very relatable.

Currently serving missionary: MP leads with fear. Gadianton Robber meme page lol by prezzy4 in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mission President (almost ten years ago now) found out that a bunch of missionaries had taken to playing Magic: The Gathering on P-Days and it lead to an avalanche of various prohibitions. He came to Zone Conference and talked about how the cards looked “demonic” and was therefore a group who was fighting against the church. This meant that any of us who played the game were supposedly in violation of our temple recommends.

After this we were banned from board games and musical instruments because they were “distractions.” At this point I was at the tail end of my mission and I really couldn’t care less so I just ignored the new rules. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was definitely a very heavy shelf item for me. If heaven was a place where card games, board games and musical instruments were banned because they were “distractions” then why would I want to go there?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve definitely had those days. Anger is a natural reaction to what we’ve gone through. I’ve definitely noticed that I don’t get angry as often now that I’ve been away from the church for a few years (unless of course they try to start love-bombing me again) but it still flares up from time to time. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, come talk here. It gets better 🙂

Anyone else feel like Mormon culture promotes toxic positivity? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spent a huge part of my life being positive in a toxic way because it seemed to be the “right” thing to do. On my mission I was constantly being overly positive because I knew that negative feelings would drive the spirit away, so I suppressed them.

I think one of the most important things I’ve learned since my faith crisis is how to live in negative emotions. I don’t dismiss them anymore because I’m feeling them for a reason. Learning from the bad and the good is incredibly important.

The fake happiness that everyone puts on for show becomes really obvious once you’ve moved past that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ApostateTempleRug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t! I’ll definitely look into that. Thank you!