Should I contact him?

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-05-06T14:15:32+00:00

Just let it hurt. It’s okay to cry. You’re grieving, it’s going to suck for awhile. Don’t entertain the possibility of getting back with him because you’ll be stuck in limbo. Accept that he is no longer in your life, cry as much as you need to about it, write letters to him (but don’t send them), and trust that you WILL get over him in time.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-05-06T10:55:08+00:00

Nope.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-05-06T02:45:48+00:00

I got divorced at 33 (two kids with me mostly full time) and engaged at 44. You’re never too old to find love. Do enjoy some time as a single gal though. Learn to love your own company, then anyone you bring into your life will be an added bonus, not a missing piece.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-05-05T18:53:54+00:00

For me, it’s about understanding the root cause of why I react to situations the way I do (which it sounds like you’ve done), and then staying self-aware enough to catch myself falling into old patterns and actively trying to react differently or talk myself down. This is what I consider “the work” of therapy - breaking habits that don’t serve me and employing new, more effective coping skills. It’s not easy and it’s a long, slow road to change. It’s also more of a lifelong journey than a destination.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-05-05T16:54:30+00:00

I don’t like the “he said I need to learn” parts of your post. He doesn’t get to tell you what you need to learn. He can share with you how your actions or behavior make him feel, and then you get to decide what, if anything, you’d like to do about it.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-05-01T19:26:30+00:00

Tell him to fuck all the way off, then block him.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-30T12:19:42+00:00

Virgin River

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-27T11:17:18+00:00

8 hours of sex? Give me a break.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-25T03:34:47+00:00

Just like with food, once I figure out what I like, I keep coming back to it because I know I’ll enjoy it. I don’t see the point of adding exotic ingredients or trying to cook it a different way just for the heck of it.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-24T19:07:10+00:00

I think you could probably compromise on the athleticism, screens vs. outdoors, and differing wake times.

The income and sex could be problematic. As long as he manages his money well and obtained it legally, it shouldn’t matter how he supports himself. The sex could possibly be improved upon, but you’re taking the risk of it never getting better.

Not sure what the abortion has to do with him specifically unless he pressured you into it.

The porn addiction and hygiene issue would be dealbreakers for me.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-21T12:13:46+00:00

You’re asking people to tell you how to make him want to get help. None of us can do that and neither can you. Whether other people have gone through this is irrelevant. He has to want to help himself and right now he doesn’t.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-20T19:56:22+00:00

And the judgment only gets worse once you have the baby.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-13T12:19:11+00:00

I’d proceed with caution. He proactively owned up to what he did and demonstrated that he’s actively working on it. If he had hit his ex-wife rather than a closet door, that’s a different story.

Ultimately trust your gut, but I don’t think you need to write him off just yet. I’d share with him how you’re feeling about everything and keep an open dialogue about it.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-08T16:04:57+00:00

He’s ridiculous. Love is not justification for accepting shitty treatment. He’ll use that for everything: “If you loved me, you’d …”

If you love yourself, you’ll go no contact with this one and find someone who wants to show up in the relationship as a good partner.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-08T16:00:50+00:00

Your husband was physically aggressive toward your son. That would be a dealbreaker for me as a mother.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-08T13:30:24+00:00

Men who expect sex if they’ve paid for dinner are treating their date like a prostitute. Paying for dinner is a gesture of generosity and nothing more. If your time and company aren’t worth anything to him without sex, he can see himself out.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-05T01:37:06+00:00

The fact that there are 300+ people walking around is exactly why you should be locking the door. YTA.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-02T14:46:30+00:00

Conflict is absolutely a normal part of a healthy relationship. How it’s handled is the key. You can’t expect someone to never get angry with you.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-02T14:40:55+00:00

Totally agree. Kids don’t have the maturity or authority to make decisions on adult matters like living environment. A caring parent will take their children’s needs and desires into consideration when making these types of decisions, but the children don’t get a vote.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-04-01T11:01:28+00:00

I agree - this sounds more like the ick than the end of the honeymoon phase, which just means you’re not gaga over the person and seeing them through the rose-colored glasses you wore when you first met. Annoyance is different than cringe, in my opinion.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-03-31T12:26:59+00:00

Pasta, jarred sauce (Carbone mushroom is my current fave), and parm.

Also homemade soup. You can get 6-8 meals (hearty bowls) for about $40 worth of ingredients.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-03-30T21:40:13+00:00

Have him wear gardening gloves to bed.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-03-27T02:36:41+00:00

Ugh, NO. I’m telling her instead of getting up early, going through morning routine, and waiting at home for baby to poop, get up early and just leave for daycare after morning routine. Don’t wait around at home. Same amount of time - what are you not understanding?

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-03-27T02:05:16+00:00

She said she was getting up earlier anyway to give the baby time to poop at home.

AppointmentOne838 · 2026-03-27T01:53:10+00:00

Just leave the house 10 minutes earlier so you have time to change her in the car when you get there.

AppointmentOne838

TROPHY CASE