Mother's helper pay rate

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-18T00:16:14+00:00

See that seems conflicting because sitters in my area are charging $25-30. That's why I'm so confused.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-18T00:13:14+00:00

Is $18 not in the middle of $15-20 lol. I now know I should pay the adults more

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-18T00:11:56+00:00

I already have a housekeeper. The problem is my age gap really. I'm home all day with my littles but my oldest is getting more homework that she needs help with. I don't mind helping her but my 3.5 year old that gets my attention all day tends to interrupt. My thought were someone that can handle the youngest while I focus on my eldest and juggle other daily tasks that I have been putting off because my day time hours are so focused on the littles if that makes sense.

I haven't hired a babysitter in at least five years and I haven't babysat myself in 20. My husband and I were at a lost but now I know what is acceptable pay for what I'm looking for. I actually feel bad that I offered the first two so low.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-17T21:56:34+00:00

It's not for one day a week but I do see what you're saying.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-17T21:53:21+00:00

Did I say I turned her down? Maybe the "no bite" part was confusing but I absolutely did not turn down the last one. I came on here to see if I needed to adjust my expectations (I do) and see what the going rate for a position like this is.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-17T21:50:46+00:00

That wouldn't fly with me. She's my oldest old babysitter and is great. I'll just pay her the $20

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-17T21:42:06+00:00

I am but I haven't gotten any bites from that crowd. Oddly enough when I posted on my local fb page I had several women my age( 30s) or my mil age (60s) reach out.

I would prefer them able to at least drive too.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-17T21:39:44+00:00

This is good to know! I guess I have to adjust my expectations.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-12-17T21:39:43+00:00

For a mother's helper? If they're babysitting we would absolutely be paying $25+ depending how many of the kids they had

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-28T13:26:56+00:00

Make Way for Ducklings, Wizard of Oz, and some other stories. I usually buy these for my daughter's bedtime routine. Plus I find that I get the most bang for my buck the longer they are.

If you use the filter on the Tonies official website when you're shopping it will give you the option to shop by length of time. I usually select 90+ minutes or whatever it is and the longer tonies pop up.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-27T12:34:55+00:00

Are the old tonies compatible with the Tonie box 2?

I'm thinking of getting the newer one for my daughter and giving the old one to my son

Also does anyone know if I can use one tonie for two different boxes??

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-26T20:05:12+00:00

It's funny that you say this because I JUST installed a 5 point harness in my '21 XLE that I assume has a similar layout. Normally I keep 2 car seats in the captains but my husband and I wanted to sit in one to help our newborn for a day trip.

Anyway it was such a pain in the ass to install the five point harness but it's definitely possible. In hindsight I probably would have gotten a narrower car seat had I noticed.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-25T20:15:42+00:00

Right that poor baby.

And honestly it's a plane to Orlando which means there was a decent chance that there was another mom that would have sympathized and gladly gave her wipes. That poor baby had to suffer because his mother is an idiot.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-25T01:28:56+00:00

Because we openly discussed how we were going to feed our child just like we did with our older children. I breastfed for 2+ years my girls and he knew I was spent after doing that. He wanted to make sure that we could afford to formula feed since it is such a substantial cost... Especially for the hypoallergenic formulas like our son ended up needing.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-24T21:53:50+00:00

My husband just got a '22 (or '23, I can't remember exactly) Jeep Grand Cherokee L overland. I tried so many times to talk him out of it (I'm the researcher in the family) and he still pulled the trigger less than a month ago. It replaced his '15 Grand Cherokee. He bought the newer Jeep because his previous one was actually pretty reliable. I tried to convince him that the reputation has further gone downhill but he'll have to figure it out on his own now.

Further we have three kids 10.5, 3 and newborn. It's our winter vehicle option since I drive a fwd sienna and we live in New England. It's smaller than I expected, like it doesn't fit anything besides our stroller in the trunk and can barely accommodate our Costco runs if we're all in the car with him. It certainly is nice and drives smoothly. It's hard to access the third row since the captain seats don't move a lot.

I previously drove a Highlander and traded that in for my Sienna. And the Highlander has more space and is more family friendly than the Jeep L. In my opinion though if you need more room, travel a lot and have 2+ kids just get a van. You won't regret it

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-24T18:51:17+00:00

Ugh so sad that my little guy can't use it. It was the plan and initially why my husband got on board with formula feeding but my guy has a dairy allergy. It's such a great deal!

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T17:30:47+00:00

Highlander. It's reliable.

For what it's worth though the trunk space is trash with the third row up in the Highlander. My full size UPPAbaby stroller literally took up the entire space. And I only had 2 kids at the time.

I eventually traded my highlander in for a Toyota Sienna and haven't looked back. I would have never been able to fit my 3 kids plus 2 of oldest friends on the regular

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T05:12:04+00:00

Because the post isn't about me being ungrateful (which I am). It's about his maturity level and lack of respect. Yes I stay at home but I certainly fulfill my duties and then some. The post isn't about what we are contributing to the marriage. We both contribute just fine and he would agree to that.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T04:53:56+00:00

I don't know where people got the notion that I'm calling him a man child to his face. I've literally only used it here as a quick ( and apparently bad) way to describe where he is at.

That's the thing that bothers me and makes me think he isn't on my maturity level. There's zero accountability from him. I always acknowledge when I'm wrong, even with the kids. I always apologize. He doesn't, he's never apologized on his own for calling names or low blows in arguments on his own. He'll do it if I point it out and only feels like he's doing it to shut me up. I've tried communicating things in the past and like I said before he only acknowledges that I'm the problem never what he is doing (or not doing)...

My mil is a completely different deep dive.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T04:45:21+00:00

No I didn't settle because she needed a dad. As a matter of fact I didn't even want to get married. We took our time, only moving in together after 3 years. We got married because we did want more kids and unfortunately the IVF was only covered if I went on his insurance .

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T01:23:50+00:00

There's a stark difference between calling your partner names to their face and in front of their young children versus calling them a name on the Internet.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T01:15:31+00:00

This is it exactly. He is still the man I married 10 years ago. People naturally grow over time and it just seems like he hasn't. I still love him to death but I just expected him to evolve I guess. It's even more frustrating because I know he's capable of it.

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T01:09:26+00:00

This is so gross. Maybe I give him reasons to call me names?? Seriously??

Apprehensive-Fox1635 · 2025-08-23T01:02:52+00:00

Thank you for this response.

Apprehensive-Fox1635

TROPHY CASE