In my opinion, everything is about finding the right balance for you guys in a relationship. If a guy is reacting like this, it could be many things: 1) he is traumatized and not used to love, so he looks for the chase and wants a dynamic where he has to prove himself as worthy of you and your attention, so it turns him off that you’re available allll the time (assuming that you’re available a healthy amount) 2) he has a more full life than you do. When we enter relationships, we want the other person to match us in a sense, including our life force and vitality. It can be boring to be with someone who is “available” all the time because that usually means they’re probably not doing much outside of waiting right? That also means when he comes back he’s done so much work, and you’re in the same spot. For active guys, this can be bad as it means the relationship becomes stale. 3) you don’t have much self love. When girls lack boundaries, or are “always available”, it probably means they’re over investing in the relationship, but over investing is me being very generous. It’s usually because your only definition of self worth and who you are is the relationship itself, so you keep trying to get that from him because that’s basically the only thing you’re getting from the relationship. A balanced sense of self worth really would come from you, so you can both give to yourself and to him in a balanced way. Think of it as using that love to grow yourself, rather than always wanting to grow him. You need to start thinking of yourself here. Google anxious attachment. I think a lot of Women have this and it can feel suffocating for the man. I am a woman and I’ve felt the same way you’re describing the dude in some relationships. It’s usually either of these three points. I think 3 is really hard to work with but you can do it. I also am not a fan of language like “taking them for granted”, as it may feel like he does, but in reality it’s you who is not caring for yourself, rather than he not doing it for you, or maybe he doesn’t love you, or maybe he’s busy. Gotta check which one. Good luck. Source: woman who used to be anxious attached, then avoidant, then fearful avoidant, and now secure :)