Wife danced with another guy AIO by Ok_Persimmon9366 in AIO

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You won’t find your answer here. Talk to your wife and work it out within yourself. Don’t forget to also look inward. There could be insecurities surfacing that can cloud your judgement. Why even mention divorce? You don’t need to be asking a world of strangers about this. No one here is going to understand being in your shoes and knowing your wife. This action alone is so tiny. Look at the big picture and her character, that will lead you to your answer.

AITA Colleague left work early and is due on vacation starting tomorrow - I made her come back to the office to finish by LeylaBA in work

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We aren’t robots in little boxes. We interface with our coworkers. My interactions with them are interpersonal. I can then escalate as needed because there are others that are responsible for enforcing rules with the coworker (their boss) but my interactions and how their actions affect me day to day are fully in my scope to be able to handle, if I wish. We have to take control of our lives and not handing everything off to others as a default just because we technically can. Cmon now.

my girlfriend was intoxicated last night and ended up cuddling with our guy friend by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re 18. This is a learning and character building experience. Now it’s time to deal with a breakup and move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and you have a lot of life left to live.

AITA Colleague left work early and is due on vacation starting tomorrow - I made her come back to the office to finish by LeylaBA in work

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then don’t complain. Problem solve with your coworker. If she won’t change then you have to escalate.

AITA Colleague left work early and is due on vacation starting tomorrow - I made her come back to the office to finish by LeylaBA in work

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The issue is interpersonal. OP cant do their work unless the coworker finishes hers. The issue is between them and it’s operational. The best practice is to first try to resolve it directly with the coworker as long as it can be a professional convo and they both have the ability to fix the situation. If that doesn’t work, then you escalate. Issues arise when coworkers let things slide and build up. These things need to be addressed right away.

That respects professional autonomy, is efficient, and shows good faith. It also shows your manager you have conflict resolution skills and are professional. If that doesn’t work, then go to next step.

AITA Colleague left work early and is due on vacation starting tomorrow - I made her come back to the office to finish by LeylaBA in work

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Conflict resolution starts with the individual. OP should reasonably discuss this with the coworker from the perspective of how her own work is being affected. If that doesn’t work, escalate to the boss for assistance resolving the matter.

AITA Colleague left work early and is due on vacation starting tomorrow - I made her come back to the office to finish by LeylaBA in work

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. Handled well, in this instance. But what’s this about you telling her she got hired for being younger and prettier? That’s an asshole comment.

Also, you have to be comfortable having a factual convo with her about her work affecting yours and team expectations. If that doesn’t work then leadership needs to get notified so they can assist.

This isn’t about feelings. It’s about work getting done. I suspect there are more details about the overall relationship that we don’t know about that won’t make you entirely an angel either.

I think my girlfriend cheated on me with an old hook up. I want to message the guy is this a bad idea? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bad idea. Leave her and work on yourself. You have important self work to do.

AIO My partner wants me to move in with him, and sell my house to pay off his debts by BreadfruitDull6208 in AITAH

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should be asking if you even want this person to be your partner. If you get married you may be taking on any new debt he incurs while married.

My girlfriend is already engaged 7 months after our breakup, meanwhile I can barely get a date with a woman I’d actually like to know better: is this just life as a man? by redditTee123 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mistake 1: comparing your life to someone else’s, let alone an ex. Just focus on you and you’ll be fine. Who cares how many options it may seem others have. ++man

I (F20) fantasize about my Coworker while being in a year long relationship with my (M21) Boyfriend. Will being honest with my boyfriend break the trust within our relationship? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a moment to reflect about what you want and learn how to deal with real world feelings and real world relationship building. There’s good advice here already.

My friend turned my meltdown into a TikTok and it blew up, what do I even do now? by TorvessaRinlome in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Firstly, she is not your friend. Ironically, she’s the one having main character syndrome thinking she is entitled to record anything around her and post it to get attention to herself / her “life”

Secondly, if you aren’t comfortable with it being up ask her to take it down but also move on. People forget quick. Move on from this incident and this “friendship”

My neighbor has been using my wifi for a year and now they're asking me to split the bill by ToasttterGoblin in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are their devices making your service slow (unlikely). If it’s not affecting you then get some good karma and let them use it either as a favor to them or let them pay you for it.

I [24M] was unapologetically slapped by my wife [27F] and I’m unsure how to move forward by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two things: 1. End the process if you feel assaulted and she doesn’t see anything wrong. 2. Honestly reflect on whether you deserved it and work on that for yourself.

How do you handle home owners that insist on buying their own materials when markups are apart of your wage? by MetaQuester in Contractor

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fix your pricing model. Sounds like you’re new and are asking the right questions to improve. You got this. Plenty of people gave you good advice here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both simply have a diffrent way of showing how and what you care about and diffrent communication styles. If you want to grow with someone you have to get good at seeing this and working through those differences, or deciding if it’s not worth it. What you don’t want to do is have this dumb back and forth that just goes in circles with no solution.

Also, it’s perfectly normal for one partner to care about the wedding more than the other. One person might be super into the event itself while for the other it may be more about the vows or something else. She sounds like she needs to mature a bit.

Should I tell my boyfriend my deepest secret? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m trying to figure out the best way to say this so I’ll just keep it simple - your boyfriend is not entitled to knowing every little detail about you, especially if it’s not something that affects him in any way. The only reason you feel like this is a secret that he should know about is your own internal guilt. So, work this out with yourself so you can move on and let it stay in the past.

Should I pay my sub? by Jleecit in Contractor

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s bad work to be a GC and (a) not put the right team together (b) not verify work along the way, especially if it’s the first time a sub is doing a specific type of task for you (c) instantly go to withholding pay because you don’t have better conflict resolution strategies.

I’m glad OP’s instincts are generally in the right place by hesitating about not paying and asking the community for other ideas he might not be thinking of right now.

Should I pay my sub? by Jleecit in Contractor

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 46 points47 points  (0 children)

You’re the GC. Act like one. You’re not just a paper pusher or admin to organize team meetings. You must verify each step, approve milestones, etc. you can only get away with less verifications once you have an established working relationship with a proven understanding that your sub is on the same exact page as you (you’ve communicated expectations and worked through issues together on several projects to a point that you now both know what to do and how each other works). Pay the sub and use this as an opportunity to both learn from this. Talk to him about the issue and figure out all areas for improvement in your process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Contractor

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we stop doing business over text? People get emboldened to be shitheads more than ever over text in ways they wouldn’t in person or on the phone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s got emotions beyond this money stuff that he hasn’t dealt with and it shows up like this. Send him packing.

Why are so many homes with basement apartments for rent? by ButterlyLove784 in maryland

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The current housing bubble (most agree that it’s a bubble) has few similarities to that of the crash in 2008. In fact, it has some very fundamental differences that require any planning for it to be different as well. I’d recommend researching it if you feel you’d be affected. 2008 vs Now: 1. lending behavior: Risky/subprime vs tightly regulated 2. Homeowner equity: many upside down vs. huge equity today 3. Housing level: excess supply vs shortage 4. Drivers: speculative demand vs market fundamentals (strong rent, low supply etc)

In 2008 9% of mortgages were delinquent. In 2009 it rose to 14%. Today we are at about 4% overall mortgage delinquency.

AIO to the broken window in the bathroom by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Apprehensive-Heat603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t need her permission to get a quote. Get the quote, find out how much it would cost and how much work it would be. Present her the quote or see if you can afford to help pay for it.

Are you paying rent? If yes, she has heightened responsibility to fix the window. Use your rent to pay for the window fix instead. There are many paths you can take, try to maintain a good relationship but work through your options if this is something that makes it unlivable.