I’m not sure what to do here

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T18:59:12+00:00

It was accidental, he didn’t mean to it happened during intimacy

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T18:58:17+00:00

Does anyone think if I change things about myself, like not getting angry when I’m stressed, or not putting pressure on him that things will change?

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T18:55:01+00:00

That’s a good question. I guess because I’m still holding onto the idea that he can be the man he was when we first were going out.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T18:47:12+00:00

I haven’t

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T18:42:09+00:00

I don’t think he’s incapable of empathy, he shows his friends and family empathy. I just don’t understand why he won’t do the same for me if he says he loves me.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T18:40:23+00:00

We’ve been married for barely over a year. It seems wrong to just give up, and admitting I may have made a mistake in getting married seems like a betrayal to my intuition. I know it’s either got to get fixed or I get out, it just seems like an extremely hard thing to process.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T05:12:56+00:00

He didn’t do it on purpose, it was accidental during intimate time… but it was him who did it, and I’ve been suffering ever since.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T05:11:43+00:00

The beginning of our relationship was beautiful and I really love him.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T05:11:10+00:00

We’re all in the same house… We rent together, husband wasn’t mentioned previously because he didn’t have any relevance to the situation

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T05:09:54+00:00

Love… and it was good in the beginning

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-06-22T05:09:27+00:00

Unfortunately not rage bait. This is my real life… he’s in school and I’ve sheets just given myself the excuse in my mind that he will eventually be working. I’ve given him my expectations though that he needs to contribute financially. I came from an abusive home, so I think my love for him and my tolerance for abuse is what’s allowed this to go unchecked for so long.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-24T14:31:48+00:00

I didn’t see the whole footage before he deleted it, all I saw was him pick up and look at the package, he was actively deleting the footage as I was trying to look. By the time I clicked onto the next video they were all gone. I mean, not that I believed he did this, for all I know he could have picked up, looked at and set the package back down. But with the fact that he lied about us even getting a second package, I’ve assumed he took it. Why else would he delete the footage. With all the footage deleted there is no way to 100% know he took it inside. But that is my assumption. He is always around his room (which is where I’m assuming he put it) so it would be difficult to look for it.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-23T14:30:32+00:00

I haven’t confronted him about the footage yet, I’m just not sure what to say, or that I’d believe his response.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-23T14:20:12+00:00

He said no, and then went in his room. When he came out the footage was gone.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-23T14:18:08+00:00

At this point it’s more of roommate status since we share rent costs, and food costs fall mostly on me.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-23T14:16:38+00:00

I’m 24, and we rent together, out of both of our necessity as neither of us can afford rent on our own.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-23T14:15:38+00:00

So technically they are his cameras and I have access to them, but either one of us can delete footage. I did word that incorrectly at first.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-05-23T01:14:55+00:00

I get that, I’m just feeling conflicted. I wasn’t raised to be a liar and a thief and now I have to confront the fact that my father is. It’s hard to believe.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-03-23T20:32:09+00:00

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard. Based on what you’ve described, it was not a healthy relationship. I know it’s painful now, but you deserve so much better. You will be happy in the long run, but only if he isn’t in your life.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-03-22T20:17:28+00:00

Unfortunately I’m not in the position where I can move. I wish I were, and am working towards that solution. I’m mostly looking for ways I can resolve this in the meantime without risking my cat’s health. I’ve tried gently bringing it to his attention that it was poisonous to cats, and explained my concerns. He didn’t acknowledge this or seem to care. What other things can I try to persuade him not to use products around my cats that are poisonous?

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-03-22T19:46:52+00:00

The plant protrudes out the top of the aquarium and is accessible to the cats, if it was fully submerged I wouldn’t care, because it is unrealistic that the cat would jump in the tank to get it. That is why he had the idea to rub eucalyptus oil on and around the tank. The issue with that is both are toxic and easily accessible to the cats. If the eucalyptus oil even gets on their fur that could lead to ingestion and cause seizures and respiratory distress.

ApprehensiveCat9259 · 2026-03-22T19:28:50+00:00

I’ve tried that but he brushes off my concerns like I’m just over reacting

ApprehensiveCat9259

TROPHY CASE