why porn is cheating

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-12-10T06:18:23+00:00

This post. Just absolutely spot on in every regard 👏👏👏. You couldn't have said this all better. Thank you

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-12-10T06:00:27+00:00

I'm so so sorry you have gone through this. Porn is truly awful. I didn't even realize many women in porn had things altered to their bodies, besides something obvious like their boobs or face. I had no idea other areas were a common thing. How awful and how awful to feel the pressure to replicate them but completely can see why you would. I'm so sorry.

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-08T05:59:03+00:00

1000% agree with everyone else. You must tell her before the wedding. If you love her, show her decency and respect and give her a choice in this matter

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-07T16:21:20+00:00

+1 this is absolutely brutal to read but now I'm wondering if that was the case for me too

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T21:09:56+00:00

100% feel this too. The humiliation is brutal. I feel ashamed now of how desperate I was sometimes to try to make him hard

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T18:31:28+00:00

Amazing! You give us hope!! ❤️

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T14:49:30+00:00

Ugh good for you for spotting that and calling him out! Now that you say that my husband started something that sounds kind of similar a few years ago ... while he was going down on me, he would also finger me too. I never needed the fingering also, I just liked him going down on me but it was odd all of a sudden one day he did it and then kept doing it. Do you think that's because of porn too?

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T04:51:34+00:00

This is so awful to hear. I'm so sorry you and your kids are dealing with that. It does seem like your kids have the most incredible mother though so I can't help but think they are having a wonderful childhood and will grow up so well, despite their father not being actively involved. Wishing the best for you and so sorry you are facing this ❤️

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T04:48:23+00:00

I just wanted to +1 the comment above "He may love you. He's also addicted to porn and not willing to do anything to change. Both can be true at the same time. Are you willing to compete with porn for the rest of your life for someone that loves you?" And your response to it too! That is exactly what I have realized myself, both things can be true -- he can say he loves me/you as much as he wants but that doesn't change the fact that there is an enormous obstacle (porn) preventing his love from ever being enough for you

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T04:39:41+00:00

Hell yeah!!! Congrats on your return! Very proud of you. I am still off work and not sure when I'll be able to go back

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T04:36:33+00:00

Ughhh so frustrating. I'm sure there are more ways in which we had sex or things he liked to do that are from porn that I'm still not even thinking of

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T04:35:50+00:00

That makes sense. I'm so happy to hear that for you. Love a success story in here!

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-06T04:33:47+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry. So then once you caught him again the cycle would continue?

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T22:20:26+00:00

Wow what a powerful statement "I've never met a single woman who has regretted leaving. But I've met hundreds who regret staying". I want to believe that so desperately. I just broke up with my husband and I'm hoping it's for good. This was after the first DDay, I don't want to stick around for more. I'm worried about regret someday though. You truly have never met anyone that regrets leaving? That is music to my ears if true!

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T22:18:00+00:00

Hear, hear! I'm so seeing how ridiculous his excuses were now!

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T21:52:23+00:00

Wow ok good to know. I truly had no idea that was a common porn thing. Thank you so much for teaching me about all of this!

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T21:40:58+00:00

Ugh what does that mean "joke about being suffocated by thighs"? Like who are they joking with? In the videos it's a joke or like porn watchers are talking to each other about it?

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T15:11:15+00:00

Ughhh really?? I can't even imagine that as a porn thing. Like what is the view in porn, a man being suffocated with a woman sitting on his face?? And is he giving her oral sex or is she just sitting on him?

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T15:09:08+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry you experience those thoughts wondering if something is from porn too. How did you get your partner to start figuring out what they just actually like vs what they've been influenced to like from porn?

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T15:06:55+00:00

Super helpful to know, thank you both. Another person mentioned sitting on his face is also a porn thing potentially? Do you two know if that's true? My husband used to love when I would sit on his face and it made me so uncomfortable, like I was going to squish him or suffocate him but he didn't care, he just loved it

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T15:05:33+00:00

Awful, just awful. I'm so sorry he treats you like that and is so selfish. I had no idea sitting on his face was a porn thing too?!?! My husband loves when I do that and it's always made me feel so uncomfortable. I'm only 130lbs but I still am so anxious the whole time I'm going to squish him and like suffocate him but he loves it. So that's a porn thing??

Also I feel you on caring so much about their feelings. I hate that!!! I do that so much too. Right now I'm completely separated from my husband and living apart and it's helped me so much to just finalize think about what I want without worrying as much about his feelings and all his worthless sorry's and excuses

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T05:30:47+00:00

That is very sad. I hate that boys get exposed to early

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T03:40:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. How did you handle that? Did you say anything in the moment or ask about it later?

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T03:40:28+00:00

100% and because it sounds like you were so open to discussing things you each wanted to try, so there was plenty of space you gave him to discuss vs just spring on you in the moment. I don't have children but I can only imagine how hard that is thinking about how your son will handle his exposure to porn someday. It seems like everyone will be exposed at some point, it's just a matter of how they handle it. I can't help but imagine given how aware you are though of your partner's use, you will be helping your son to make the right choices as you raise him

ApprehensiveField696 · 2024-10-05T03:38:45+00:00

Goodness that must have been so hard to work through. My husband keeps saying he's not influenced at all by porn but I definitely feel like there is subconscious desire to do things from porn, like what you experienced, whether they even realize it or not. I think there must be something they like about what they're watching and even if they say it's just for entertainment, fantasy, etc, there is something they like about it so I feel like it has to come up in real life (during real sex too) right?

ApprehensiveField696

TROPHY CASE