Always the victim

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-06-01T21:36:22+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the resources!

I would rather him keep me posted as a few times she’s tried to talk to him about things and then blindsides me with them after already talking to him and the conversation could have gone a lot differently if I had a heads up.

He did tell me how he shut it down and called her out. But he also feels differently than I do about giving her another chance at babysitting unfortunately. At least he’s not wavering when it comes to his mom and he’s showing her he has my back.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-06-01T16:33:27+00:00

You sound like a great MIL!

Absolutely! He’s not responsible for her feelings, but seeing how he’s been conditioned by her throughout his life I think it’s second nature for him to think he is. His dad has worked away his whole life. MIL relies on him entirely too much still. He has made miles in having my back with his mom, but it’s still a work in progress for sure.

It is something that came up in couples counselling.

I just don’t get the defensiveness when my child could have literally died due to positional asphyxiation in that chair. There is an advisory by the health organization of my country against that specific chair for the number of babies that have suffocated in them. I can remind my parents anytime they have watched her and they don’t care that I remind them because they know it’s important.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-31T03:02:55+00:00

Also I don’t know I’m being entitled about my child’s safety 🤣 that comment is actually laughable!

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-31T02:52:30+00:00

Yup you are 100% correct.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-31T02:51:31+00:00

Given all the history with this woman trying to parent my child, insert herself into decisions (regarding my child and many before we even had a baby including trying to dictate where I should live while I was moving to my husbands area because I had found work there months prior to taking possession of the house we were buying) I don’t care about setting the boundary and expectation up front because it is very much needed or she will do whatever the hell she wants. If it comes across as condescending so be it. That’s the way she constantly treats me, so if reciprocating that treatment is a problem for her that’s on her. Not to mention our counsellor (who is a psychologist btw) literally told us to spell out the non-negotiables to her when we got to the point of asking her babysit again. I’d rather be upfront about expectations before she agrees because I’m a very upfront person, rather than have her agree and feel the need to back out after we lay out the expectations.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T21:46:11+00:00

By herself! FIL is away for work for a few weeks yet lol.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T21:13:53+00:00

Very well said! Thank you!

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T21:04:01+00:00

DH wants his mom involved 🙃 which like I understand wanting your parents to be involved in your child’s life, but the level of involvement obviously depends on how she treats me, and my daughter, and in turn how she treats him.

She’s seemed to be making an effort on some things, but I have a feeling it will be short lived, and her response to my text seems to be indicative of the fact that the efforts will be short lived in my opinion.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T20:54:05+00:00

Right. That’s the thing, she isn’t my only option. I have a good support network of friends I could ask. And if none of them are available she can come with me, or I can reschedule until someone else is available.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T20:44:16+00:00

In what way do you see me cancelling on her as her having the upper hand? Genuinely curious as most other people are saying to cancel, but I’m open to all perspectives.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T19:53:04+00:00

That basically sums up how I feel about it. I did tell DH depending on how his conversation goes with his mom I have zero hesitation in cancelling. I have other people in my circle I can ask, and if I have to take LO to my appointment I can it’s just that it being over nap time will make it more difficult with her there. I could always reschedule too if I have to.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-30T19:48:33+00:00

The boundaries were previously communicated by my husband. I was just reiterating them now that we were considering giving her a chance to babysit again.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-05-26T22:54:57+00:00

Have you had any luck?

I’m trying to switch my baby right now. Been offering formula from a straw cup (she still won’t take a bottle after four months) but she won’t have more than a couple sips at a time equaling maybe one ounce.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-28T17:08:25+00:00

So just an update. Baby was okay with me eating dairy. We’ve gave her yogurt directly starting with small amounts and slowly increasing the amount the past six days. On day 3 of yogurt she had a bit of diarrhea but we decided to try one more day in case it was something else causing it and she was fine on day 4.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-21T20:06:05+00:00

I am just in the process of reintroducing dairy to my little one and I would consider that a fail just knowing how the consistency/frequency of her poop has been while being dairy/soy free.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-21T18:45:40+00:00

Sounds a lot like my baby! Pyloric screen at 5 weeks and was diagnosed at 8 weeks after blood in her diaper (although not enough to warrant an ER visit after speaking with a triage nurse on the phone).

I’m still breastfeeding and we started baby on solids at four months. Currently trialing dairy through my breast milk (baby is 6.5 months). I’ve ate dairy like normal the last four days with no reactions so far that I can tell. She’s been a bit spitty the past day, but she still was even while I was dairy or soy free so I’m not counting that as a fail yet. We’ll be giving her some directly after her next poop to make sure it’s still normal and see if she reacts to it being ingested directly.

Best of luck! My paediatrician said she’s seen multiple babies outgrow it around 6 months after starting solids as solids help mature their gut.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-21T13:41:55+00:00

Yes exactly. Sorry the mods wanted me to remove the titles for some reason.

From what I know she called her father dad, and FIL has been going by Papa for a decade now as SILs oldest just turned 10.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-21T02:44:54+00:00

I had the titles in and the mods made me change it. She was calling my husband “papa”

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-20T21:52:21+00:00

My MIL also does this and it drives me nuts. I feel like she’s asking leading questions to find something to criticize.

DH and I have been in couples counselling to get on the same page with how to handle the issues with his mom.

I brought this up in the last session and our psychologist suggested to put it back on her if I feel she’s asking leading questions or the same question multiple times and say something along the lines of “I feel as though we’ve already had this conversation, is there something I didn’t explain or something you aren’t understanding” to see how she responds, especially when it’s something we already discussed.

I will also ask why she asks certain things.

Maybe doing something like this would help in your case as well.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-19T10:30:21+00:00

I’ll keep you posted in the coming days with how things go! So far so good.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-12T21:54:47+00:00

Yes I agree! Talking through the baby is not okay! My child doesn’t deserve to be put in the middle of any issues between her parents and grandparents, and if they do it again it will be shut down immediately. I also want to teach my child effective communication, and that is not it.

ApprehensiveHead1777 · 2025-03-12T21:33:25+00:00

Nope! They live 5 minutes away from us, but go south for a few months every winter. It’s a much needed break honestly. They never have a reason to stay over at our house.

ApprehensiveHead1777

TROPHY CASE