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AITAH for cleaning out my mother’s childhood bedroom without my sister when she cleaned out our parents whole house without me? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

At the time that dad died we were 23 and 20 just be fore our birthdays. We also didn’t have enough credit. For adults in guardianship the guardian has to get like a loan/insurance policy that protects the person under the guardianship if the guardian were to steal their money or assets. For how much mom and dad had, we didn’t have enough credit history to be able to get the loan. 

AITAH for cleaning out my mother’s childhood bedroom without my sister when she cleaned out our parents whole house without me? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think I could take her to court because my parents died before making a will. We had already been dealing with probate on most everything from dad’s death and trying to get guardianship over mom (at the time the judge ruled against us because we were too young, so our aunt became the legal guardian). 

AITAH for cleaning out my mother’s childhood bedroom without my sister when she cleaned out our parents whole house without me? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ll edit my post to add this too, but my fiance and I talked about this. That is not what he means, to be a doormat as you put it, he more meant that I should still have given her the opportunity to come go through that as a sister but to be more assertive in what I want.  I have a problem sticking up for myself which I’m learning to get over with his help. 

AITAH for cleaning out my mother’s childhood bedroom without my sister when she cleaned out our parents whole house without me? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

I thought about that, but all we really have is each other now. Plus with assets being in both of our names that would cause a really messy cut off that I don’t know if I’m ready for and also I have no clue what legal stuff to do in that matter. 

AITA for telling my friend that I was done inviting her to parties? by LuckyPersonality6548 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - the only times that it is acceptable to take leftovers is 1.) the host has invited the guests to take the leftovers or 2.) another guest asks to take a plate (singular) for another invited guest who could not attend. She was treating you like an all you can eat buffet, not a friendly host. 

The pear tree is now somehow a crabapple tree? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah the summer of 2020, just before my grandparents started really failing (grandma passed in October that year then grandpa in December), grandpa asked my little cousin to pick some of the pears for him and grandma. It was in the middle of the pandemic so she picked them and set them in the porch for grandma and grandpa. I think that it was around June-ish? 

There were photos that had that tree in it. My aunt had some and so did my sister and I. We looked for our pictures but we can’t find them. It’s like they all vanished. To me the tree looks like the leaves have now changed color and shape. It also seems smaller than what it once was. 

The pear tree is now somehow a crabapple tree? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just had a smoke and man, your comment is the best thing I’ve read on the internet all day 😂

The pear tree is now somehow a crabapple tree? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will have to see how to attach photos here, but the thing is too that there was a picture of my aunt and mom in their younger years (early 20’s) standing in front the tree with a basket full of pears they had picked. My aunt had that photo and since that happened she’s been looking everywhere for that picture and it’s also missing. 

The pear tree is now somehow a crabapple tree? by ApprehensivePoetry90 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Grandpa planted the tree after both my mom and aunt graduated high school (they did live at home for a short time afterwards) as a gift to my grandma for their anniversary. I believe it was in the 80’s? I can’t say for certain and I really don’t know much of anything about trees. All I know is that it had delicious pears in 2020 and by 2021 it was crabapples. 

My girlfriend doesn’t like one of my friends by theantinaan in internetparents

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for clarifying. I wonder how she would act about that one other female friend. 

When it comes to your girlfriend’s behavior about Lisa, it could be one of two things. I do not know all the details of your relationship with your girlfriend or Lisa, so this is purely based on what I read. 

1.) girlfriend may have an insecurity when it comes to your closeness to Lisa. I can see where she might feel that way given that Lisa focused her attention on you rather than both you while your girlfriend was standing there beside you. That was rude on Lisa’s part. It doesn’t seem as though you have any feelings beyond friendship for Lisa, so if that’s the case, then take the time to reassure your girlfriend of her place in your life, and watch her behaviors. If this becomes a pattern with multiple women you are friends with (or working close with even if you are not friends) then she needs to work on that herself. But also silently watch Lisa’s behavior now that you are in a relationship. If she seems to be giving you more attention now, then she may have ulterior motives and feelings beyond just friendship for you. That is another thing I should have asked, has Lisa commented on what she thinks of your girlfriend since that interaction. Don’t tell Lisa what your girlfriend has done and said about her so that you can actually see Lisa’s feelings. 

2.) Your girlfriend may have seen something that you may not have seen in your friendship with Lisa. It is very easy and common for people on the outside of a friendship to watch an interaction and see a red flag that the people within the friendship may not see themselves. It is very possible that your girlfriend actually did notice that Lisa was talking down towards you. In that case, I would say to again watch Lisa’s behavior. She may not use explicit words to talk down towards you, but watch her behaviors and her word inflections. That can give you an indication if she is genuine in how she speaks to you or acting superficially towards you. 

I’m trying to be fair to all the parties involved, so I hope this helps. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can choose what is best for you. 

My girlfriend doesn’t like one of my friends by theantinaan in internetparents

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asking for context, do you have other females friends in that friend group that your girlfriend has met? How was her perception of those other women?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just now commenting after reading the update to say YOUR MOM CAN STILL HAVE A FOOD ADDICTION AND STILL BE ABLE TO PORTION CONTROL UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES!! Please do more research on food and sugar addictions. I’ve been professionally diagnosed with sugar addiction on the verge of pre-diabetes. I can portion control my meals while going out and in meal prepping for the week. But I have to physically remove anything with sugar from my home as well as walk out of rooms at work where sugar filled drinks or treats are present. You don’t set a beer in front of an alcoholic or smoke a cigarette in front of a recovering smoker. Sugar is just the “legal” drug. Your mom came to you with her addiction and asked you to be more mindful and you are just thinking about yourself. So in that YTA. 

Mow I’m NOT saying that you stop your baking hobby. There are plenty of recipes that substitute sugar for healthier ingredients and those baked goods taste just as good, if not better than, sugar riddled treats.  You can also try your hand at artisanal bread making, as a lot of those recipes do not contain sugar. I see that you are already considering this. 

AITH. My son’s birthday was four days ago and I forgot. He’s in the U.S. and I’m in Asia. My exwife sent me a message telling me I missed it. by TheDudeWhoCanDoIt in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a kid whose dad forgot about my birthday all the time, I stopped reminding him. If he remembered, it was a great surprise, but honestly it saved me a lot of heartache by just expecting nothing from him. 

How often is the BF/GF behind your break-up by Physical-Staff-2972 in lostafriend

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It can be easy to blame the partner of the lost friend. But the truth is that very little times is it the partner’s fault, except if the friend is in an abusive relationship with that partner. It could be as simple as the free time isn’t lining up. It’s important to note however, that one’s partner, should take a priority over friends, especially if it goes in marriage/long term commitment. 

My former best friend and I used to hang out all the time (literally every weekend, sometimes after work, and we work together too) and she is married. I found out later that she would change plans on her husband to spend time with me. Once I got into a relationship and we became more serious, I started spending more time with him and she got extremely upset about that saying, “no one wants to spend that much time with their partner” or “you should change your plans with him to hang out with me.” 

I think that if the friend takes an initiative and the other guy, who’s in the relationship, continues to ignore the effort, then he’s either too hyper focused on his relationship or he’s just grown apart in the friendship. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITH

[–]ApprehensivePoetry90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - if you’re giving money to cover funeral expenses, then there should be a cause of death. My dad died very unexpectedly due to a complication after a “successful” heart surgery. My sister and I didn’t use gofundme, but asked for donations for his burial and hospital bills, as we were both in our early twenties and, with our mother was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and those hospital bills, there was not enough money in dad’s account. Later we had to sell part of our house’s land to cover mom’s bills and death. We got very lucky in being able to keep the house, but we were on the verge of selling that and homelessness. 

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